Celestial's Junk Drawer
by CelestialCircumference
Summary: This will be a collection of plot bunnies, drabble, and one shot shorties from lemons to fluff, main pairing is Kaka/Saku but other characters will make an occasional appearance. Rating will change appropriately throughout but lets go with M to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

Title: What Our Friends Don't Know Won't Hurt Them  
Pairing: Kakashi and Sakura  
Rating: M

* * *

Kakashi and Sakura had been doing many things together over the years and while they didn't know it back then, everything had been leading them to this point. Still a little unsure of when to tell their friends, specifically Naruto, they had been secretly dating for months now. It was quite easy to pull off, especially since they were partners, which meant they were together most of the time anyway. No one thought anything more of it.

When they were out at a restaurant or getting tea, or browsing weapons, people just assumed they were doing things as partners, strengthening their bond. Or like now, sitting in the local pub having a drink after returning home from a mission. Most thought they were celebrating making it back home alive, unwinding from whatever they had seen or done outside of the village. No one suspected that afterward they'd go home and spend hours showing each other how much they truly were grateful to be alive and together.

Some nights, like tonight, Kakashi had wanted to skip the drink. He had been muttering dirty things about how hard he was the entire trip to the pub. To which Sakura simply smiled and replied how good things come to those who wait.

They were currently sitting at a table toward the back of the establishment, drinking down a second glass of shochu. Sakura spluttered into her drink for what was the fourth time that night as Kakashi whispered, in sinfully sweet detail, what he wanted to do when they left.

"We should go to your place, your bed can take more damage than mine," he suggested

"I hope you don't plan on really destroying my furniture."

"What I _plan_ on doing is removing all your clothes, tortuously slow, and then tasting every inch of you. I _plan_ on making you come with my fingers, and then my tongue until you're begging me to take you, moaning and pleading to be fucked, for me to just be inside you … and you know it will happen. I love it when you talk dirty back to me."

She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I know you want to leave Sakura," he murmured against the shell of her ear, his fingers playing with the strands of her hair, "you're just as anxious as I am, I can smell it."

She blushed and took another gulp, trying her best to ignore him. But he just didn't know when to stop and he had quite the devilish tongue to boot.

"He~eey! Forehead!!!"

Sakura groaned and then smiled at her inebriated friend as she approached the table, a just as plastered Ten Ten by her side. The slid into the open seats, none to gracefully, across from them.

"I didn't know you were back in town," Ino said, "I thought you were gone til at least tomorrow."

"Well we finished up early and … how much have you had to drink?" Sakura asked as her friend began to teeter sideways toward Ten Ten.

Ten Ten shook her head, "She found out that Shikamaru and Temari are dating."

"Oh Pig, I thought you didn't like him."

"I don't!" the blonde exclaimed, "But that doesn't mean that he had to go and hook up with that Sand …. that Sand ..." she paused and polished off her drink.

Sakura shook her head and discreetly smacked Kakashi's hand under the table as it tried to work up her skirt. He chuckled lowly, not deterred by her actions.

His hand smoothed across her knee, his fingers rubbing light circles just on the inside of her thigh, moving slowly, slowly upward. She squeezed her thighs together, sending him a dirty look before turning her attention back to her friend in "dire crisis" as she put it.

Ten Ten put her arm over her shoulder, "Don't worry about it, Ino. It may not even last long. 'Sides, she lives all the way in Sand and you're here."

"Exactly! I was right here and yet he went and ch-chose some girl from _another_ village! I've been putting up with his lack-lackadai-la …. lazy ass for years!"

Sakura lightly chuckled, "Stick to small words, Pig."

"Oh, I don't want to hear anything from you, you've got one of the hottest men in the village by your side. Why don't you jump on him already?!"

Kakashi laughed behind his mask, "Yes, why don't you?"

"Shut up, Ino."

Ino grinned and leaned over the table, "How about it, Kakashi? If my friend won't jump at the opportunity, I will. I'll even call you sensei if you like that sort of thing."

"I'm flattered, Ino, really," he picked up his glass and took another drink, "but I have to decline."

"Another man, turning me down," she huffed, "I'm fucking gorgeous! Men should be hitting on me left and right."

Sakura tensed as she felt Kakashi's hand slide up her leg again. She turned her eyes to him looking as serious as she could, but he wasn't paying attention to her. He was looking ahead as if he was interested in the board for the dart tournament. His hand didn't stop either, even when she closed her legs and gripped his wrist. Sakura was defeated and she knew it.

His fingers dragged up and down her folds over the thin cotton fabric of her panties, feeling the moisture that had gathered and soaked through. He hummed appreciatively as he brought his glass to his mouth. Sakura sat back, trying her best to seem like everything was normal, that her former teacher and current partner wasn't rubbing soft circles over her clothed clit.

Sakura turned her focus back to her friends, trying to listen to Ino's drunken rambling and looking for any sign that they may really know what was going on beneath the table. Kakashi pushed the fabric aside, the rough pad of his finger making contact with her heated center. She peered up at him, but he still wasn't looking at her.

As Ino and Ten Ten continued on, talking about how useless men were and how much they were worth and how any guy would be lucky to bag one of them, Kakashi continued working his fingers against her most sensitive spot, taking small moments in between to dip his fingers into her hot, wet core.

She took in a shaky breath and chanced to look at him again, this time his head was turned toward her and the gaze from his single eye was intense and then his eye creased and she knew he was really, _really_ enjoying this moment. The pleasure was growing, flowing through her body. She could feel the heat in her stomach and chest as she tried to mask her breathing, the small trembles in her legs were hard to control.

Kakashi enjoyed watching her, the way her jaw clenched as she held back moans or the way she played it off when her body trembled, adding a tuck of her hair behind her ear or straightening her shirt. Her hand came to his knee, gripping onto his pants. Her hold would increase as he teased that wondrous pearl of nerves and then slacken as he moved back down, sliding his finger in past her folds, rubbing her inner walls.

A small noise escaped her lips and he looked at her curiously, "You feeling okay, Sakura?"

"Yeah, you look kinda pink," Ino added, "Well … you know besides your hair," she snickered, obviously finding the word pink, and all thoughts associated with it, hilarious.

As Sakura went to reply, he moved his tormenting fingers back to her clit, "I-I'm okay, just … a little … hot."

Ten Ten leaned forward a little, "Wow, you're sweating."

"Am I?" her voice rose a little in pitch at the end.

Her breathing increased, even if she didn't want it to. She fanned herself, trying to play it up for her friends. Her grip tightened on his leg and she couldn't stop the moan that spilled forth. She leaned against his arm, hiding her face between him and his chair. He was relentless, flicking his slick finger tips across the bundle of the nerves. She panted heavily against him, her mouth open letting her cries of pleasure out silently.

Her body suddenly shook as her orgasm erupted. She tried to still her muscles, mentally trying to keep hold of her limbs, which was difficult as his fingers hadn't let up in the least. After her orgasm subsided, she peeked out from behind his arm to find her friends watching her with concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you feeling sick?"

Sakura shook her head, "I don't … know."

"Maybe I should take you home and get you into bed," Kakashi stated thoughtfully, his eye showing the same concern that her friends did, but Sakura knew better.

"That sounds like a good idea," Ino agreed, "Sakura, you let Kakashi take you home."

"But-"

Ten Ten tsk-ed at her, "You can be so stubborn Haruno. Just do what he says."

Kakashi pulled his hand away from her, finally, and smoothed her skirt back down before standing. Sakura stood too, shakily. He put a hand on her shoulder and helped lead her out of her seat. He turned back to the girls and waved, "Don't worry, I'll take good care of her."

"We know you will."

"Come on Sakura, lets get you home."

"I'm going to kill you," she muttered under her breath.

"You enjoyed it."

"I'm still going to kill you."

"I think I can persuade you otherwise."

"Just remember, payback is a bitch."

"And I'm looking forward to meeting her," he said with a grin.


	2. What The Future Holds pt1

This is part 1 of 3 of my 'What The Future Holds' drabble, hopefully parts 2 and 3 will be up tomorrow. I apologize now if Kakashi or Sakura seem OOC, but then again this is set into the future and I mean really, I think Sakura and Kakashi together is itself OOC. *shrugs*  
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Again, feedback is welcome (and encouraged)! A big thanks to all reviewers and everyone that has favorited, put me on alerts and everything else!

Title: What The Future Holds (part 1)  
Pairing: Kakashi and Sakura  
Rating: M (for smut - you've been warned)

* * *

"I'm home!"

"Sakura, welcome home!"

"Hi mom!"

Sakura's mother was a friendly woman. She was petite with the same jade colored eyes. Her long hair was a deep rose color, nearly red, which she kept pulled back. She had aged well, the only wrinkles she wore consisted of laugh lines and rows feet st the corners of her eyes, evidence of all the smiling she did. She lived a happy life.

Mrs. Haruno came up to Kakashi and hugged him enthusiastically, "And how's my son in law?"

He scratched his cheek, his eye creasing, "I'm well, thank you."

"I never thought Sakura would marry this young, especially not to such a handsome man."

"Mom," Sakura groaned.

"Please honey, leave the man alone or at least offer his a drink first."

"Dad!"

Sakura hugged her father with a warm smile. He was a pleasant man, if not a little stubborn – most likely where Sakura inherited it from. He had put on a little weight in his years and his golden hair had streaks of grey.

"Mr. Haruno, nice to see you again."

"Llike wise Kakashi. Have a seat, I'll get some drinks while we wait on dinner."

Sakura smiled, somehow seeing Kakashi interact with her parents seemed a little surreal. He could be such a different man.

They sat and drnk and soon, they ate dinner. Conversation and drink flowed freely and Sakura was grateful that her parents had accepted him and that nights like these were even capable of happening. She had been worried before, he had been her sensei after all and he was much older – but her parents were happy for her and those things were trivial in their eyes.

"So are you going to show me your room?" Kakashi asked teasingly.

Sakura's cheeks were already pink from the drinks, but they colored even more, "So you can make fun of my decorative tastes when I was thirteen? I don't think so."

Her mother chuckled, "Oh, go ahead, Sakura. I'm going to clean up and put some fresh towels in the bath. Then I'll let you know when it's ready."

"But-"

Kakashi stood and offered his hand, "Oh it can't be that bad, can it?"

She sighed and took his hand, "Fine."

Her father watched after then as they headed upstairs, frowning as he heard her giggle. His wife noticed his expression and playfully smacked him on the arm with a hand towel.

"Don't look like that. Leave them be, they're still considered newly weds you know."

"That's what I'm worried about," he mumbled.

Kakashi shut her bedroom door behind him and pushed in the lock. Her room looked very girly, with a floral pattern along the border of her walls. There was a jewelry box that played a melody, an assortment of pictures and posters on her walls. Her bookshelf held complete collections of manga. Her bed was small, with simple white sheets and a pale pink duvet.

"There, you've seen my room. Happy now?"

"Not quite."

"What?"

"If I look around will I find old love notes written to Sasuke?"

She huffed and turned away from him.

"I didn't really want to see your room. I just wanted to get you a lone," he explained as he came up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling his nose behind her ear.

"This is my parents' house, we can't-" she gasped as his hands slid under her shirt, smoothing up her abdomen, grabbing her breasts through the silky material of her bra.

"Kakashi, you-"

he cut her off again, roughly pushing her bra up, taking her nipples between his fingers. He chuckled softly, licking the shell of her ear, "I what?"

"You can't-" she bit down on her lip to keep from crying out as he pinched the sensitive buds.

"I can't what?" he whispered challengingly.

She turned her head toward his, he instantly sealed his lips over hers as he continued to massage her breasts ans tweak her nipples. She moaned softly into his mouth when he pressed his hips into her backside, feeling his hard length. Her entire body felt hot and desire built quickly, she could already feel the need to be touched between her thighs, she could already-

He moaned against her before pulling away, one of his hands dipping down to brush the front of her skirt, "I can smell you, how aroused you are," he hissed softly as he pressed himself against her again, "I want to taste you."

"Kakashi, we … we can't-"

"You're right, we don't have enough time."

He slid down the zipper on the side of her skirt, allowing it to fall to the floor. He hooked his thumbs into her shorts and panties and pushed them down her thighs while she rid herself of her shirt. He guided her to the bed where he bent he rover the edge. His still clothed body felt rough and exciting against her skin. His arm snaked around her waist, his fingers teasing her moist opening. His slick fingers came up to brush against her clit and she gasped loudly.

"Ssh. Careful, you don't want them to hear, do you?"

She pressed her lips tightly together as he rubbed her sensitive nub with firm, quick circles.

She pushed herself back into him, grinding into his erection. His warmth left her for a moment and she peered over her shoulder, watching with lust clouded eyes as he removed his pants, his hard member jutting forth proudly. She subconsciously licked her lips, watching as he stroked himself.

He grinned to himself as he dragged the tip of his cock along her folds, amused by the way she fidgeted in anticipation. He eased himself inside of her, agonizingly slow, firmly holding her hips still when she tried to push into him.

She sighed, content, when he finally was fully inside of her.

"You feel so good," she whispered," her head falling to rest on the bed.

He rocked his hips, setting a steady rhythm and all Sakura could do was succumb to it; in, out and in, out and in, out, and try her hardest to stifle her cries and moans of delight.

Kakashi loved the way she felt, so hot and smooth and tight and he loved the way she looked, her features twisted in a grimace of pleasure, her hands clenching desperately to the sheets. He enjoyed the muffled sounds she made every time he drove himself forward.

His movements came faster, harder and Sakura brought her hand to her mouth, biting on her knuckle to keep from getting louder. Her old bed lightly squeaked in time with their love making.

"Mmm … ngh …."

"Isn't this exciting?" he asked, his husky voice filling her ears, his breath coming out harshly against her cheek.

"Ungh … Ka-kashi ..."

"Watching you trying not to make a sound," he thrust harder into her, "watching your body accept mine," another thrust and he grunted, "it's driving me crazy. I want to hear the sounds you always make for me."

He pulled most of the way out before slamming his body back to hers. Her head came off the bed, a startled, pleasured cry escaping. She bunched up the blankets in front of her and buried her face in them, panting and moaning heavily as he relentlessly drove her toward the edge. He chuckled as another cry escaped her, the blankets could only muffle so much. She gathered some control and lifted her head to give him a dirty look.

He just smiled and leaned forward, his chest flush with her back, "You know I love you."

Sakura's heart skipped a beat at those words. He pulled back, gripping her hips, driving himself into her with abandon. She wanted to drop, hide her face and her moans, she just couldn't. He felt so damn amazing and she craved her release, she was so close … so close … so-

"Kakashi … I'm-!"

"Come for me."

Her jaw dropped and he brought his hand around to clamp over her mouth. The sounds of her moans and cries resonated through his hand, and then her tight heat fluttered and clinched around him. He grit his teeth and one, two, three more thrusts and he came, his mouth opening, silently letting out his own cry of satisfaction.

The hand placed over her mouth slowly let go and smoother over her chin and down her neck. He kissed her cheek gently and pulled himself from her. They lay on her bed, the sweat on their bodies cooling, their breathing returning to normal.

"Sakura! Kakashi!"

Sakura's eyes widened in alarm as she heard her mother's voice.

"The bath is ready if you'd like to clean up!"

Kakashi snickered silently as her cheeks turned an even darker shade of pink, "U-um, okay mom, thanks!"

His silent snicker turned into an audible laugh. She smacked him on the arm, "Shut up!"

When he didn't stop, she pursed her lips out to the side, "Fine, I'm going to take a bath."

She leaned down to pick up her clothes. When she sat back up, Kakashi was sitting up right beside her. He grabbed onto her arm and smoothed back some of her hair with his free hand.

"Kakashi?"

"I really like your parents."

"Good, they like you too."

"They're really nice and they made a beautiful girl."

She blushed but eyed him skeptically.

He was quiet for a moment, pensive, "Do you want to try it?"

"Try what?"

"Having a baby, starting a family – it would be nice to have one."

She was taken back by his question and even more so by the seriousness in his gaze.

He softly caressed the side of her face, down along her jaw and over her bottom lip, "What do you say?"

A smile slowly spread across her features, "Yes."

She leaned in and kissed him softly, but passionately, on the lips.


	3. What The Future Holds pt2

Title: What the Future Holds (pt 2)  
Pairing: Kakashi and Sakura  
Rating: I suppose T will do ... FLUFF, probably too fluffy actually. But here it is.

* * *

The last thing Kakashi remembered was a sense of falling and overwhelming darkness. He truly believed he was going to die. He laughed bitterly to himself as he lost the will to keep his eyes open. He was going to fail Sakura … again.

There was a light annoying sound filtering through to his mind. Beep. Beep. Beep.

All he wanted to do was knock it off, destroy whatever it was that was depriving him of a peaceful death. Then he realized that he was not lying in uncomfortable brush, although what he was currently laying on wasn't that soft and then there was a familiar scent – of something that was too sterile. It faintly reminded him of the way Sakura smelled when she came home from work.

There was a warm hand on his bicep and then his wrist. The scratch of a pen to paper, more prodding, more scribbling. There was a voice, but it was soft and unrecognizable, the words were a jumble. A pressure cuff was wrapped around his arm. A hospital? He was in a hospital. Where? Home? If he was only so fortunate.

His eyes cracked open, assaulted by harsh light. He clenched them shut and then he tried again, leaving his Sharingan eye closed.

"Hatake-san! You're awake!"

He _was_ home. He recognized the nurse tending to him as one of Sakura's co workers … Mika, Mira, Miya …. something like that.

"How long have I-"

"A few days. You should rest, you don't want to strain yourself."

Ignoring her, he pushed himself up into a sitting position, "My things."

"I can't give them to you, Lady Tsunade's orders. She said you were to remain here, no matter what."

He had no time to rest. If he had been confined to a hospital bed for the past few days then he had been gone just over a week. He couldn't sit there, whether or not he was in pain.

"Sakura? Where's Sakura?"

"She's … um … well -"

Kakashi huffed and pulled the IV from his arm despite her protesting, "My things," he snapped.

She pointed to the small cabinet, "There," she sighed dropping her head, her shoulders slumping, "I'm going to get fired."

Kakashi had no time for pleasantries or formalities and he began changing back into his uniform right there in the middle of the room. The flustered Mika .. Mira … or Miya, turned around, her back ram rod straight – her face the color of a tomato, clutching his chart to her chest, her eyes squinted shut. He heard her chanting some sort of mantra about Sakura not killing her

Sakura.

"Where's Sakura? Tell me."

"S-she's on the third floor, room 323, Tsunade is with her. No one is supposed to go-"

"Thanks," he finished putting his hitai-ate in place and then he was out of the door. He walked right past the front desk for the ward, disregarding the woman behind it shouting at him to stop. He found room 323 effortlessly and grabbed the knob.

"You can't go in there!"

_Oh no?_ He turned the knob and let himself in, startling Tsunade. She narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you doing out of bed?!"

But his sight was focused on one thing and one thing alone and that was the pink haired woman in the bed. Her eyes were closed, but it was obvious that she was in pain. A sheen of sweat covered her face and what parts of her body he could see. She was clenching onto the sheets so tightly her knuckles were white.

"Is she-"

"She's okay," Tsunade reassured.

"She doesn't look like it."

"What did you expect?"

"I knew something was wrong, she wasn't in my room, she-"

"She needs you by her side, so I won't break your head for disobeying my staff this time."

Kakashi gently limped to her bedside, dismissing his own pain, and took her hand. It was cold and he rubbed his over hers for some warmth.

Her eyes fluttered open, a small smile forced across her lips, "I thought I was going to have to do this alone."

"Don't be silly."

"Are you okay to be out of bed?"

"Of course."

"Liar," she chuckled and her eyes drifted close.

"What's wrong with her?"

"It's the pain medication. It's the only thing she opted for," Tsunade replied watching the monitor, taking note of her heart rate, "she's been here for over ten hours already."

Kakashi wiped her forehead and suddenly her grip on his hand intensified and he tried not to show how much it hurt. Even in this state her grip was deadly. A low moan started at the back of her throat and rose to a keening cry before dying off.

He had never seen her in this much pain before.

"Kakashi, I need you to leave the room."

"No, I'm staying right here."

"I said-"

"And I said no."

"I hope your children are just as stubborn so you have a taste of your own medicine."

"Lets hope," he said with an eye crease. He turned his focus back to Sakura while Tsunade lifted the sheets.

She shot back up, her eyes widened, "Okay Sakura! It's time to-"

Another cry escaped her lips, "I can feel it. I need to … to ..."

"Come on then," Tsunade raised the head of the bed to aid Sakura in sitting up, Kakashi pulling on her arms.

Her roseate locks were matted against her head, her eyes were puffy and red and she looked so tired, so _worn._ He had never seen her like this, looking so fragile.

"Kakashi," her hand reached for his again and he took it, placing soft kisses along her knuckles.

"I'm right here."

"Ready Sakura?"

"Yes!"

For the Copy Nin there was no sound, no smell, no concept of time. He was focused solely on Sakura and the look of determination and agony on her face … and the crushing grip she had on his hand. Time stretched on like this for what felt like forever and then, suddenly her grimace faded and she rested back, exhausted, tears glistening in her eyes.

His senses began returning, and he slowly turned his head toward the tiny, but loud, crying noise.

"It's a boy."

"A boy," Sakura breathed, happiness evident in her voice.

He watched silently as Sakura's arms outstretched to receive a bundle of blankets, tiny arms emerging from within. She gasped and smiled, "He's so beautiful."

Kakashi met Tsunade's gaze who seemed incredibly happy herself. She nodded with a smug grin and he turned his eyes downward, taking in the pink flesh and little hands and dark green eyes and the head full of hair.

His world stopped and started at the same moment. He looked back to Sakura, her fatigue forgotten and the only thing he saw on her face now was love. He pressed his mouth to hers, sneaking a finger to his face and wiping away the rogue tear that managed to break loose. Tsunade smiled at them and picked up her chart, turning around to fill it out and give the new family a moment.

"I love you," he proclaimed happily.

"I love you too. Do you want to hold him?"

He nodded and held his arms out taking the baby carefully. Sakura watched him with a smile as he rubbed the child's small cheek with a finger.

He smiled to himself, "And I love you too. Welcome to the world Kenichi Hatake."

* * *

A/N: Sorry it took so long to add part two. Now that the sick people I was taking care of are better - I am now sick ... and with no one to take care of me -.-' I suppose that's how it goes. Hopefully part three will be up soon. Feedback is welcome and encouraged. Many thanks to those that already have. You guys rock ^_^


	4. What The Future Holds pt3

So this is the final part of my 'Future Holds' little series. I'm not too pleased with the ending, but I promised to get it out. Maybe I'll tinker around with it some more and clean the end up. A little bit of fluff and some smut to round it off. Enjoy.  
Pairing: Kakashi/Sakura  
Rating: M

As always, I do not own Naruto nor do I make any profit from writing this fic.

* * *

"Kenichi, time to come in! Lunch is almost ready and your father will be home soon."

In the garden, a little boy with ash colored hair raised his head. His deep, vivid green eyes closed and creased – just like his father's did, "Okay!"

She smiled at him, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Yo."

The sudden voice behind her would have startled anyone else but she felt his presence when she first came outside. She grinned and turned around, "You're home early. I never thought I'd get to use the word early to describe anything associated with you."

"You think you're funny."

"Hilarious," she joked, poking him in the chest and thenshe noticed the box in his hands, but it wasn't just any box, "You didn't-"

"Daddy!"

Kakashi simply put the box into her hands and then held his arms open to welcome the rushing boy. He picked him up, grinning at the sound of his laughter.

"You know, I think you've grown even more since the last time."

"Really?"

He nodded, "Really. I got you something."

"What is it?"

"Let's go inside and see," Kakashi maneuvered the boy to sit on his shoulders, the soft childish giggles never stopping.

"Look Mommy, I'm taller than you!"

Sakura smiled warmly at her two boys as they walked inside.

-*-*-

"A puppy!" Kenichi cried in surprise.

"Not just any puppy. You remember Pakkun, don't you?"

The little bloy nodded, still staring in awe at the pug puppy as it sniffed at his hand.

"Well his ..." he saw Sakura's raised brow and he grinned, "doggy wife had puppies. So, this little fella' here is special, he has the ability to be a very good ninken and it's a perfect gift since you're about to start at the Academy."

"I'm gonna have my own ninken!"

Both parents couldn't hide the joy they felt and Kakashi nodded, "That's right. It's a big responsibility for-"

"A big boy, I know. Does he have a name? Can I name him?"

"Yes, you can name him."

"Awesome! Come on, Puchi!"

Both Sakura and Kakashi glanced at him, "Puchi?"

"Yeah," he grinned, "I'm going to show him my room."

"But lunch-"

"I'm not hungry," he called as he disappeared down the hall.

She shook her head and then jabbed a finger at Kakashi's shoulder, "You just couldn't wait, could you?"

He shrugged, "So, what's for lunch?"

She smirked and beckoned him to follow her into the kitchen.

-*-*-

Sakura left Kakashi after lunch to gather her oils and flints to sharpen their weapons. The door to Kenichi's room was cracked open, she stopped and looked inside. Kenichi was curled up in the middle of his bed, fast asleep, the little brown puppy tucked into him. She smiled and went inside, picking up the blanket from the foot of his bed and gently put it over him.

"It's amazing, isn't it?"

She nodded at the sound of Kakashi's voice. She joined him in the hallway, closing Kenichi's door back.

He reached up and cupped her face in his hands, "I never thought I'd see you so... domesticated."

Her face soured at his choice of words, "Careful, I can still kick your ass."

"And that's one of the reasons why you're so damn sexy."

With practiced ease he pulled down his mask more quickly than her eyes could process. He pressed his lips to hers, pulling her with him across the hall and into their bedroom. No sooner than they made it past the threshold did he find the zipper at the top of her shirt and yanked it down

She gasped and he took advantage of the moment, slipping his tongue past her lips to explore her mouth. He gripped the top of her shirt, wrenching it down over her shoulders, the material hooking around her elbows as he pulled her roughly against him.

They moaned against each other; tongues and lips crashing heatedly. He unhooked her simple white bra, pushing the material up to expose her breasts. She buried her fingers in his hair as he leaned down, taking one rosy nipple into his mouth, his fingers tweaking and massaging her other breast.

She bit down on her lip, feeling his pliant muscle work around her nipple, flicking over the sensitive bud as he sucked it into his mouth.

"Kenichi's asleep ..." she started.

He released her nipple, now fully distended, "Then we'd better not wake him," he lowered himself to his knees.

"Kakashi!" her eyes widened as his hand lifted her skirt and he pressed his fingers against her clitoris through the thin fabric of her panties.

He grinned wickedly up at her, his finger sliding up and down the cotton material, over her folds, feeling the wetness that had already accumulated. Her arms fell to her sides, her shirt falling to the floor. He kissed her stomach, his tongue dipping into her navel before trailing down to the band of her panties. He didn't pull them down like she had thought he would, no he continued to kiss her over the material. She jumped at the warmth of his breath as it spread over her.

"Look at you, already like this," he pushed her panties to the side, slipping a finger past her wet folds and into her heat. Her eyes slid closed, reveling in the feeling of his finger pistoning in and out of her. He added another digit, stretching her, filling her.

"So many people see you as this fearsome kunoichi, a woman that can create craters and tear through concrete with a flick of her finger. Temperamental. Bossy. Powerful," he emphasized each depiction of her with a herculean push of his fingers causing her to bite back her moans.

"But only I know you this way," his voice was gruff, sinful, "Lustful. Uninhibited. Wanton," he rubbed

his thumb over her clit, grinning as he heard her breath hitch.

He removed his fingers from within her, licking them thoroughly, seeming to savor the taste of her. Her cheeks flushed as she watched him, the way his tongue brushed over his fingertips and his cheeks hollowed as he sucked – it was so … erotic.

She straightened, pushing her body off the wall and stepped closer to him. She grabbed the back of his neck and boldly pulled him to her, wasting no time in plunging her tongue into his mouth, tasting her essence on his tongue. She felt his hands at her hips, working the button on the side of her skirt.

Frustrated and impatient she batted his hands away and took the skirt between her hands, ripping the side open, not minding that she'd have to sew it back together later. The split material fell around her feet, joined shortly by her panties. Her hands unbuckled his belt with ease and the button and zipper followed.

He watched her in amusement as she pushed his pants down his legs. She slowly raised, dragging her hands lazily up his legs, inside his thighs, brushing against his twin sacs before continuing upward, completely ignoring his throbbing member. Her nails ran under his shirt and danced up his chest, lifting the fabric. She tossed his shirt to the side and knowing that the time available was precious, Kakashi lifted her, her legs wrapping around him. Their mouths met as he found his way blindly to the bed, settling them both upon it. Holding himself up with one hand, he used the other to align himself with her, sliding the tip of his cock up and down against her opening.

"Stop teasing," she whispered harshly, her voice hoarse with longing.

Without a word of warning he thrust into her in one smooth motion. A cry escaped her lips as her head fell back, her body adjusting to being filled so fully, so quickly. He rocked his hips against hers slowly, delighting in the feeling of her. He continued on, withdrawing nearly all the way out before pushing himself completely back in. His pace remained unhurried, and while she loved feeling him slide inch by antagonizing inch inside of her, she craved more. She angled her hips and thrust upward to meet him.

Taking the hint, he set a new rhythm leaving Sakura gasping and mewling, pleading desperately for more, beneath him. He lifted a hand, hitching up her right leg and raising it to put over his shoulder. The sensation changed immediately and Sakura 'ooh-ed' in satisfaction. He lifted her other leg, placing it to join the other and with a secure grip on her thighs, he drove himself forward again, hitting that spot deep inside her. Her back arched and she inhaled sharply. Enthralled with the results he did it again and again, until her hands were clenching the sheets and a soft sheen of sweat had broke across her body.

"Kakashi ..."

But he was immersed in watching his cock sink into her hole – fascinated by the way her body readily received him.

"Kakashi … I'm-gonna-come," she panted.

"Then come for me," he commanded.

Oh how he loved to watch her come; the way her face contorted into absolute bliss, her eyes screwed tight after rolling back, her cheeks flushed, her mouth open letting out the most extravagant cry. The sound of her calling his name was a thrill in itself. He loved the feel of her legs tensing as pleasure exploded throughout her body, the way her abdomen clenched and her walls fluttered around him, beckoning him _'come for me', _milking him as he jerked forward spilling his seed, a guttural moan breaking out from within him.

He released her legs, and she lowered them shakily. He collapsed forward, catching himself on his hands. He hovered above her, breathing laboriously with a smug look plastered on his face.

She smiled herself, "Don't. I already know what you're thinking."

"That that was a new record?"

She laughed lightly, still trying to gain control on her breathing, "I'm not going to say anything, your ego is big enough already."

"Humor me," he grinned, leaning down to kiss her.

Their tongues met lazily and he moaned into her mouth as he pulled his now flaccid member from inside her. He moved to lay beside her, stroking the side of her face.

"He's still asleep. Want to go again?"

But Sakura had other ideas, "I've gone a whole week without you in bed. Just … lie here with me for a minute."

"That doesn't sound nearly as fun as running my tongue along-"

She clamped her hand over his mouth, "We can save that for tonight – like I said, I've gone a whole week without you in bed. Don't think you're the only one with tricks up their sleeves."

He chuckled and stretched out his arm, allowing her to settle against him. She sighed happily as his fingers drew patterns across her naked shoulder.

-*-*-

Kenichi rubbed at his eyes as he sat up in bed. He patted the top of Puchi's head as the little puppy stretched, mouth open in a yawn and a little pink tongue sticking out the side.

He got out of and opened the door. He looked down the hallway and shuffled toward the kitchen.

"Mama? Daddy?"

His brow furrowed as there was no reply. He grabbed a piece of bread from the table and walked back down the hall. He stopped outside of their door and then turned the knob. He cracked open the door and peered inside. He shook his head as he caught sight of them, buried under the blankets, sleeping soundly.

"Hmph," he shrugged, "I guess they decided to take a nap too. Come on Puchi, lets go play."

Sakura smacked Kakashi on the arm as she heard the front door close, "I told you to wait!"

Kakashi chuckled, but didn't let up on his ministrations, taking pleasure in the way she shivered in his arms, "And I did."

"Hardly ..."

"I don't think you're in the position to argue right about now."

She reached for him and found her target, her fingers wrapping around his half hard penis. She stroked him firmly, smirking at the sound of his groan, "Didn't I tell you that you weren't the only one with tricks?"

She leaned forward and he smiled into the kiss, letting her do to him what she desired. Because in the end, he was getting what he wanted too.


	5. More Fun That Way

Title: You Can't Always Get What You Want (But Sometimes It's More Fun That Way)  
Pairing: Kakashi & Sakura  
Rating: M - yeah no plot really just 1,900 words of smut. I didn't intend to update, but this idea just sorta came to me.  
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. I don't make a profit from these writings. All in good fun here ;)

* * *

Kakashi was resting in his bed, pillows propped up just the way he liked them. The bedside lamp was on, illuminating the pages of his favorite inked companion. The shower in the bathroom cut off and a few minutes later the door opened, steam softly billowing out. Sakura walked out, running a towel over her head.

Kakashi glanced up from his novel, appraising her look. He believed that sometimes she looked the sexiest fresh out of the shower wearing nothing but panties and a simple tank top. On most days it made his mind buzz with thoughts of how to dirty her up again and he loved that there were less clothes to rid her of. But tonight …

She climbed onto the bed, lying down on top of the blankets beside him. She stretched, arching her back and he took note of her hardened nipples under the flimsy top. Sometimes she made it too evident of what she wanted. She sighed, getting comfortable. She dragged her foot up her opposite leg, her muscles flexing attractively, her hands pushing up her shirt and brushing across her stomach.

"Are you done with that book?"

"Not yet."

"You've read it like a hundred times."

"Seventy-two actually," he grinned turning the page.

"Fine. Why don't you put it away?"

"I'm not done with this chapter."

"But you have me right here and I can do all those things in that little book of yours. If I remember correctly you really enjoyed pages 99 through116."

He paused in his reading, toying with the idea. It was true, he really did love it when she did that, but instead of tossing the book aside he turned another page, "But I'm not done."

"Kakashi-" she whined with a pout.

"I'm sorry Sakura and I never thought I'd say this but … I'm not in the mood."

She blinked, "What?"

"I'm not in the mood."

She huffed, "Well … well … damn it! What am I supposed to do now?"

"You must be really horny."

"You have no idea."

He did though, he picked up on her signs the moment she walked out of his bathroom with a little extra sway to her hips. He brought the book down for a moment, "Well, what do you do when I'm not around?"

"I take care of myself, what do you think?"

"Then just masturbate."

"But why? I have you here!"

He was thankful his mask hid his amusement, "Go ahead Sakura, I don't mind, really."

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"If you're embarrassed I can leave," he suggested.

"No, it's okay ... I'll just go to sleep or finish my report or … something."

"You mean you're going to deny yourself that release, especially when you want it so badly?"

"You're not helping."

"If you'd just do it you'd feel better. Do you need me to coach you?"

Her cheeks grew hot, "No!"

"Then take care of yourself. I may not be in the mood but I do like the noises you make. It'll be … entertaining."

"So glad I can provide you with that service, Hatake," she rolled her eyes.

"Fine then, I'm going to continue to read my book."

She stared up at the ceiling, drumming her fingers against her hip bone. She bit her lip and looked over at Kakashi. He was engrossed in the pages before him. _Fine_, she decided, _if he's not going to touch me_ …

She slowly brought her hands to her breasts, rubbing them over her shirt briefly before letting her hands travel downward. Her fingers brushed along the band of her panties before she slipped a hand down into them.

Kakashi snapped his book closed, "You're doing it wrong."

She glared at him, "You did not just say that to me."

"You're not even taking your time to enjoy the sensations you're creating for yourself."

"I just want to-"

"I know what you want, it's the whole purpose behind it. When I jerk-"

She clapped her hand over his mouth, raising her brow at him. He laughed behind her hand before moving it away, "All I was going to say is that when I'm … left to my own devices, I use a little imagination and take my time. I find that it makes reaching that goal a lot sweeter."

She sighed, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

He softly ran his fingers across her lips, "Why don't you trust me on this and listen to me?"

"Fine."

She laid her hands on her chest again, rubbing through the cotton fabric. He shook his head, "If you're going to touch yourself, then touch yourself. That shirt's only in the way."

She huffed, but listened to him, pulling the shirt up exposing her small rounded breasts. Closing her eyes she rubbed them, again, cupping herself in her hands and squeezing. As she continued to fondle with her left hand, she pinched her other nipple with her right hand. She teased her nipple into hardness before switching tactics.

Kakashi watched as she tugged on her left nipple with a little more force than he thought she would enjoy. Her lips parted slightly as her breathing came just a little harder.

"Wet your thumbs," he whispered.

"What?"

He took her wrist in his hand and brought it to his mouth where he singled out her thumb, closing his lips around it. She enjoyed the feeling of his tongue swirling around the digit. He pulled her thumb from his mouth, "Wet your thumbs, like that."

She copied his action with her other thumb although she liked it more when he did it. He positioned her hand over her breast, her thumb pressing down on her nipple, "Now keep going."

She continued to pinch and tweak her nipples, rolling her slick thumbs over the sensitized peaks. Okay, she'd give him that one. She opened her eyes to look at him, finding he was still watching her in fascination. She took her right hand away from her breast and let it flow down to her panties.

"You have wonderful nails, you should enjoy them, drag them along your stomach."

She repeated it again, this time letting her nails scrape along her skin. She shivered lightly at the feeling, her fingers traveled back up to her breasts, circling them before scratching back down to her hips.

"Touch yourself over your panties," his voice was gentle, but provocative.

She did. Her stomach clenched as her finger passed over her clitoris and down over her slit and then back up. She curved her finger, swiping across the bundle of nerves at her center. She gasped when she felt Kakashi's hands grab onto the sides of her panties. She looked at him questioningly but he just smirked and tugged them down. She lifted her hips and allowed him to remove them.

"Keep going."

She let her fingers venture down, pass the small well shaved thatch of curls. She explored herself, letting herself feel the sensations as he had so put it. Her other hand was still working her breasts and she could feel the need to be touched, kissed, and filled rise within her. She moaned softly as on another pass down her folds she could feel the moisture that had gathered.

As her finger dipped low again Kakashi guided it inside her. Another soft moan escaped her, although a single finger wasn't much, the small amount of friction it gave was incredible.

"Now pull it out and rub your clit."

Her body almost seemed to be on autopilot, listening to his commands. She didn't care as long as she kept feeling this good. Her back lightly arched as her slippery finger circled her button. He watched as her cheeks tinted and her chest began to rise and fall more quickly. She had forgotten about giving attention to her breast and all of her focus was on …

"Slow down," he urged, tenderly holding onto her wrist.

She huffed, frustrated, "I just-"

"Do this for me," he pushed her leg upward, she surrendered, letting her knee bend and opening herself up to him more fully. He smirked, "Good, now-" he guided her left hand to her center, letting her fingers caress her folds. She slid in a finger by his silent instruction, pumping it in and out. He took her thumb and forefinger on her other hand and positioned them over her clit, closing them to gently pinch the center of nerves between them.

She worked with the blueprint he gave her, fingering and teasing herself; going faster when he directed her to, or slower, or to add another finger.

"Mmm, taste yourself for me," his voice had dropped, taking on that alluring tone.

She did so without a second thought, licking and sucking her fingers clean.

"Do you like the way you taste?"

She nodded weakly, her body approaching the bursting point. He lay on his side next to her, "Finger yourself, hard and fast, and don't stop."

He didn't have to tell her twice, she had been looking forward to reaching her release since she got out of the shower.

She could feel his breath coming out hotly against her cheek, and his voice filled her ears, "What are you thinking of? Are you imagining it's me; my fingers plunging into your core? Or maybe you're picturing my head between your thighs, tasting your juices, devouring your center, my tongue tapping and sucking on your clit?"

The heat she felt in her stomach increased and her legs jerked at the anticipation of hitting her peak. She moaned loudly and her breaths became labored.

"Or am I inside you? Tell me, are you imagining it nice and slow or am I thrusting my hard cock into you wildly?"

Her mouth fell open, "Mmm.. Kakashi ..."

"Wildly then," he licked along the outside of her ear, making her shudder, "Can you feel it? Are you close?"

"Yes!"

"Good. Can you see me above you, driving myself deep inside your tight, hot pussy? Your walls fluttering as you near your climax ... feels so good, doesn't it?"

She panted, worked into a state of frenzy, "I … I'm-"

"That's right, you're going to be a good girl and come … hard," he observed the way her arms tensed and her breath hitched, "come Sakura, come … now."

And at his word that tightly coiled spring of pleasure erupted. Her eyes shut and her mouth fell open, her cries coming out freely as she crested. Her back snapped and her head was turned to the side, her lips were captured roughly. She was vaguely aware of her muscles clamping around her fingers.

Kakashi's hand went over hers at the apex of her mound and he controlled the pace of her finger, slowing it, drawing out her orgasm, not stopping until her body finished twitching. She sighed, sated and then slowly opened her eyes, meeting his intense gaze.

His hand left to grab her other, withdrawing her fingers from her core. He drew her fingers to his mouth where he licked her flavor from them, "You do taste good. Now, aren't you glad that you listened to me?"


	6. Lips Are Sealed?

Short lil one shot written for Sayuri No Moe. I hope you like it *hugs* ILU!! I hope everyone else gets some little enjoyment out of it as well. Again, it's not beta read so please excuse any errors. All mistakes are mine. Feedback is welcome and appreciated.

Title: Lips Are Sealed?  
Pairing: Kakashi and Sakura  
Rating: M - short and smutty.

* * *

Team Kakashi was known for many things, but then not many teams consisted of a Jinchuriki, the Hokage's apprentice, one of the last remaining Uchiha and one of the most infamously famous ninja. The squad was also known for their dynamic team work and high success rate. It was no wonder that they were often summoned for high profile, risky missions including infiltrations and assassinations.

As of now, they were on the bill to do both. They were currently following a lead, waiting for the man who was working under – and would lead them to – their main target.

Kakashi and Sakura were hiding out in a thick brush just outside of a run down building at the south end of the town and Sasuke and Naruto were keeping an eye on the northern route. If the man came in or out, one of them was bound to see him.

"Anything on your end?"

Sakura sighed, turning away from Kakashi, pressing the button on the communicator, "Nope."

Kakashi tapped her on the shoulder but she ignored him, "Tell Naruto to be quiet, I can hear him. There's a reason he didn't get the comm."

"Tch, you can't tell that moron anything."

"Sakura, hey, turn off the comm, I need to talk to you."

She snapped her head to the sulking Copy Nin and with her brow furrowed she shook h er head and mouthed 'No'.

"This could take a while, lets go silent. Let me know if you see him."

"Sure thing."

There was a soft click signaling he had turned off his mic. Sakura followed suit and then moved her legs from under her to get more comfortable. She had been sitting in the same spot for over an hour and there was only so much room in the small opening Kakashi had found for them. He had quite the knack for finding spaces like these, but they were always so cramped.

"Sakura."

"What?"

"Is the mic off?"

"Yes, Kakashi, it's off. What do you want?"

"A piece of you."

She turned away from him, her eyes fixed on the road, "No."

"Come on Sakura."

She gave no reply as she took out her binoculars and peered down the road way. Things were silent for a few minutes but Kakashi was not a man that was easily swayed.

Gloved fingers popped up in her line of sight and she pulled away the binoculars and glared at him, "Stop!"

"But-"

"No, no, no. This is _your_ rule."

"When are you going to learn not to listen to me?"

"Listen here," she jabbed a finger to his chest, "you either want us to listen to you or not. You don't get to pick and choose. We've been following leads and gathering intel for weeks and this is the closest we've come. I'm not going to ruin our chances just so you can get off."

"Sakura I hope you don't think I'm that selfish."

She studied him for a moment and he seemed sincere enough, "Good."

"I'd make sure you got off too."

"Kakashi!"

"My body can't take it anymore."

"Well get over it. This was your one rule for us, no sex while on missions. I respect that and I respected you for it. Besides, there have been plenty of times that I've been in your position but I didn't whine about it."

"I was gone for a whole month and then I got put right onto this mission and we've been out here for nearly three weeks. Sakura," his voice was grave, "that's almost two months without feeling your tight, hot-"

"You better not finish that sentence."

"Two months."

"It'll just be that much better when you do finally get inside me then. Now, I have to keep a look out."

"At least give me a hand job or something."

"Don't push your luck."

"What? At least that way you still get to keep watch."

"You're incorrigible."

"No, I'm just incredibly horny," he moved closer to her, "See, I can slip inside you from behind and we can still see the road."

"No."

"It's been nearly two months for you too."

"Your point?"

"You've got to be dying to feel me inside you," he whispered, pulling the ear piece from her ear, "my hard cock filling you with every thrust, stroking that spot deep inside that makes you cry out my name. I love the way you say my n a me."

His breath against the shell of her ear sent chills down her spine and heat in her belly.

She nudged him in the ribs with her elbow, "Will you stop?"

He sighed heavily. He hadn't been lying – he was incredibly horny and just the few words he spilled to her had him hard and straining against his pants. He looked back to Sakura, her attention focused out on the road once more. He grinned to himself and wrapped his arms around her.

"Kakashi, please ..." she gasped as his hands found and firmly squeezed her breasts. He continued to grope her, wonderfully mask-less lips exploring the back of her neck.

Two months was a long time and all it took were a few strategically placed kisses and a rough caress or two to have her body tingling and her head feeling light.

She reached up and grabbed his arms, "Please, don't …. we can't."

"Why?"

"Because ..." her eyes fluttered close as one of his hands crept up her shirt, his fingers teasing over her left clothed nipple, "Because what if our target shows up? What if we get spotted or have to fight?"

"It could work in our advantage. I'd be able to be prepared to fight faster than you would. So I'd be a distraction and you could surprise attack."

He was pulling ideas out of his ass, she was sure, but he spoke so confidently that she was almost believing him.

"Kakashi, " her tone was a warning, but the other hand continued downward, working its way into her shorts.

"Yes?"

"Don't make me stop you."

His hand rubbed over her mound, the tips of his fingers teasing her slit, "If you were really going to stop me, you would've done it already."

"You-ah!"

She clamped her mouth shut as his fingers flicked over her clitoris. His hand dipped lower, pushing a finger past her folds. She heard him suck in a sharp breath and she closed her eyes giving in to the wonderful sensation.

"Does that feel good?"

"Mmm … yeah ..."

"You're already getting wet," he placed another kiss to her neck.

She rubbed herself against him, "Only you get me wet like this."

He added another finger, pumping them steadily into her heated center, "Are you keeping watch?"

"Yeah," she sighed.

"Good," his fingers slipped from her and then he bent her forward, hooking his fingers into her shorts. With one firm pull he removed them, along with her panties. Using some smart maneuvering, he completely took her items off, setting them to the side. He cleared some leaves out of the way and laid back. He grabbed her thigh and pulled on her leg. She took his signal and straddled over him.

She brought her hands to his belt but he stopped her. She turned questioning eyes to him.

"That's not where I want you."

"Then-"

He crooked his finger at her, beckoning her to him. He gripped her by the waist, "I want you up here."

She moved with him, blushing as she settled over his face, a knee on either side of his head. He hooked his arms around her thighs, locking her in place. She looked down at him.

"Remember, keep an eye out for our man and … try to stay quiet."

"Got it."

And then he was pulling her closer, closing his mouth around her clit. She shivered in delight as his pliant muscle twirled and flickered across her most sensitive button. His tongue parted her folds, slipping inside to taste her warm, tangy nectar.

Sakura bit down on her lip to contain a moan as he worked her, thrusting his tongue in a manner that he wanted to perform with another part of his anatomy. Her breathing came a little heavier as she raised the binoculars once more to scour the area for their target. Her eyes kept wanting to drift close, to revel in the feeling produced by his ministrations. Why did he have to be so talented with his tongue?

Kakashi used his thumbs to spread and hold her open as his explored her eagerly. He was amazed at the fact that even on a mission she found time to keep herself well groomed, and that just a little persuasion on his end had her with her panties off. Perhaps he was getting better at talking, or he knew her just well enough to know when she'd cave and when she wouldn't. Her legs tensed when he hummed against her and he chuckled inwardly. He loved the feel, the scent, the taste of her. She sighed as his tongue left her to glide back up to the bundle of nerves, circling the area teasingly.

He slid a single finger inside her, welcomed by the dripping heat and pulsing muscle. He slowly pumped his finger in and out before adding a second one. She moaned as he continued his pleasurable torture, his fingers providing the sweet friction she craved and his tongue tapping and flicking her clit. Her hips rocked pressing herself into his mouth. The arm still locked around her encouraged her to keep moving if she so wished to, so she did.

Sakura slid a hand to her breast, squeezing herself through her shirt as she ground against his face. His fingers had picked up a new pace and his lips had closed around her clit, alternating between hard sucking and flicks of his tongue. She was trembling and he could feel her muscles quivering around his fingers.

One of her hands shot back, tightly taking hold of his shirt as tiny moans and whimpers fought their way from her mouth. Another flick, a hard suck and the curling of his fingers had her back arching. Her head fell back and a loud grunt was the only noise she made as her mouth came to hang open in a silent scream as she reached orgasm. He slowly removed his fingers and eased up on her, his tongue moving in slow circles around her before momentarily delving between her folds to taste her again.

He finally released her, "That's my girl."

Coming down from her high, she looked down at him between her legs. She blushed a little as she saw her juices glistening all over his lips and chin.

"I-I'm … I'll move ..."

She pulled her leg back, averting her eyes as he wiped his mouth clean. She checked down at the road again, "Still no sign of him."

"Good, we still have time then," his comment was accentuated with the sound of his zipper being lowered, "on your hands and knees."

"You're lucky I love you."

"You like it when I order you what to do and you know it," he chuckled.

She smiled but didn't say anything as she assumed the position he desired. She loved it this way too, but she didn't have to tell him, he knew this.

"Can you still see?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

He pulled his hard cock from the confines of his pants, giving himself a few languid strokes. He positioned himself at her entrance and then pushed forward, easing slowly inside. He groaned blissfully and she sighed as she felt him stretch and fill her. She was so wet and warm and tight and he had been wanting this for so long. He was finally fully seated inside her when he let his breath go.

He dragged his fingers up her thighs, "Gods, I missed this. You feel so good."

Slowly he began to move, rocking his hips in a steady rhythm. They were pressed for time but he was going to get as much out of this as he could.

Sakura swatted a bug away from her face as she continued to try to keep her attention on the road, but his hard length thrusting into her – hitting that sweet spot that had been neglected for over a month – was making it quite hard to concentrate on anything other than the pleasure he was creating.

"Kakashi … harder, please ..."

And he complied, snapping his hips forward, his hands coming to fondle her breasts. She whimpered as he found her nipples, pinching them between his thumb and forefinger.

"Yes! Mmm …. yes, Ka-kashi ..."

.oOo.

Naruto was poking at the outside wall of the factory with disinterest, "I'm bored."

"Shut up."

"Well I am!" the blond pouted, "What happened to the action?"

"You running your mouth isn't going to get anything done."

"I don't understand why I get sent on these missions. Baa-chan knows I'm no good at things like this."

"Perhaps it's to strengthen your weak areas. There's a reason you're not Jounin yet, you know."

Naruto crossed his arms defiantly, "You're not Jounin either, teme."

"Do you have to remind me?"

There was a pregnant silence and then Naruto jumped, "Hey! Did you see that? I thought I saw that man we were looking for!"

"Where?"

"In that building to the east, the blinds were just closed."

Sasuke turned his focus to the location and watched intently He saw him too and then the blinds were let down and closed. He stood from his spot, "Good, lets move and check it out."

"Shouldn't we let Kakashi and Sakura-chan know?"

"We will, _if_ it's the right guy. Lets go."

Naruto jumped up in excitement, "Alright! Finally we get to do something!"

Sasuke refrained form rolling his eyes and followed the loud mouthed blond around the building. Suddenly, he froze, uncaring that Naruto was still babbling away. His partner finally realized that he was holding a one man conversation and turned around. Concern fell across his face and he walked back to him, grabbing him by the arm.

"Hey Sasuke, you okay?"

The usually stoic Uchiha remained quiet, his eyes wide in shock and his mouth open.

"What do you always tell me? Oh yeah, you're going to catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that."

There was still no response.

"Sasuke? Hey Sasuke? What's wrong?"

Sasuke blinked. He couldn't believe it. There was just no way. No way. No way … But were his ears really deceiving him?

"_Oh yes! Kakashi, that feels so good!_

**'Did I just hear that?!'**

Sakura moaned loudly in his ears. Naruto's brow furrowed and he shook Sasuke, "Hey? What was that? Is that Sakura-chan? Is she in trouble?"

"_Ooh, right there. Don't-stop-fucking-me!"_

It was a mistake right? A joke? It had to be.

Naruto growled, irritated, and he snatched the ear piece from his friend, "Give me that! What's going on?"

Sasuke was still stunned in silence. Naruto put the piece to his ear, confused even more by the harsh panting and grunts. And then Kakashi's voice came over the speaker, clear as ever.

_I know I told you that you didn't have to call me sensei anymore, but I want to hear you say it."_

There was a feminine gasp and then …

"_Oh! Oh yes … mmm ... sensei."_

"_I can't hear you."_

"_Oh sensei!"_

Naruto's eyes grew wider and wider. His fingers trembled, he was in utter disbelief, "Sakura-chan?"

"_Kakashi, I'm … I'm gonna cum."_

Naruto jumped and pulled the piece from his ear and threw it back at Sasuke, "What the fuck is that?! Kakashi-sensei … and …. Sakura …. they wouldn't … they're not really … I mean ..."

Sasuke put the piece back in his ear and Naruto blanched, "What are you doing? You're going to keep listening to that?!"

"_Ugh … ngh … ah!"_

Sasuke blushed as the sounds of flesh against flesh filled his ears.

"_Cum in me, I want to feel you cum in me."_

"_Sakura-"_

"_I'm cumming!"_

"_Oh fuck ..."_

And then two sets of groans echoed in Sasuke's perfect hearing, sounds that he wouldn't be able to forget. He looked up at Naruto unsure of what to do next. His partner seemed just as unsteady.

There was a rustling of what he assumed were clothes and then a string of obscenities.

_Kakashi spoke first, "What's wrong? You came didn't you?"_

"_Yes but-"_

"_You took your pill, right?"_

"_Damn it, will you shut up?!"_

"_Sakura, I don't understand."_

"_The comm's on."_

A heavy pause.

"_Oh."_

"_Oh? Oh?!?!" she growled in frustration, "I swear if you've been listening this entire time you will never be able to start up the Uchiha clan ever again! And if Naruto knows I will-"_

Sasuke took the ear piece out and let it hang off his shoulder and then he fixed a hard stare at Naruto, "This never happened."

He quickly nodded, "Deal."


	7. That Feeling Untitled

A/N: Eh, I was in a really depressed mood this morning and churned this out. I thought maybe if I wrote something then it'd make me feel better - but it hasn't. I was unsure to share or not, but what the hell. This is just a little drabble, kind of depressing - okay it **is** depressing. If you don't like it you don't have to read. Not beta read - all mistakes are mine.

**-Untitled #1-**

* * *

"I'm leaving."

Never had two words broken her heart like the 'thank you' spilled from her first love's lips when she was merely twelve, but these two managed to do just that.

Dumbfounded, she shook her head, her strawberry locks swaying with the motion.

"Don't … don't say that."

"I'm sorry."

Another pair of words cut through her. Her heart pounded mercilessly and she clutched at the front of her shirt, silently pleading for the organ to calm itself – or to stop altogether, for this to be a dream, just some kind of terrible nightmare she could wake from and find comfort in his strong arms.

He'd soothe her, running his fingers through her hair and once she was calm again he'd chuckle and poke fun at her for even believing such a deluded idea. And then he'd kiss her, passionately, as if to prove his case.

"Why?" she managed to ask.

"I have to."

"But … _why_?"

"People fall in and out of love ..."

"No."

"You'll come to realize this ..."

Her eyes prickled and brimmed with tears, blurring her vision, "No!"

"It's for the best, Sakura."

"The best?" she echoed.

She could hardly believe so. The past two years had been so happy and sure, they had their arguments like any couple, but nothing that should lead to this outcome. She blinked, feeling the hot tears carve a fresh trail down her cheeks. Her fingers curled inward, forming tight fists as she fought back against the crushing emotions.

"I wish this could have ended differently."

"Then, then why can't it? We could, if you would just talk to me and explain _why_, then we could-"

"No, Sakura, we couldn't."

She looked away as her chin quivered, her chest heaving as she fought back the sobs. When she spoke again, her voice sounded tiny, even to herself, "Please," her eyes closed and her tone turned pleading, "_please_, Kaka-"

"I can't."

"Don't make me-"

"What - scream, cry, beg?" the Jounin sighed and ran a hand through his unkempt locks, "Don't make this any harder than it already is."

"Are you saying that I can't change your mind at all?"

His quiet stare was answer enough, but it needed to be clear, "My mind has nothing to do with this."

He sounded so cold, detached and he witnessed the pained understanding flicker behind her eyes. He averted his gaze as she looked to him again.

"If you leave, I won't come running after you."

He knew this. "I don't expect you to."

"'I'll hate you."

"Ah," he scratched at the back of his neck, "I'm sure you'll find that that emotion will fade over time as well."

She hung her head. Threatening hate wouldn't work against someone that didn't love you.

"I should be going."

Sakura remained where she was, not acknowledging his words. A bit surprised (and a little relieved and a little saddened) at her lack of fighting spirit, Kakashi stuffed his hands into his pockets. Sakura refused to look at him, instead focusing on a worn sport on the rug as tears continued to silently fall.

"Goodbye, Sakura."

Her fingers twitched as the words echoed in her ears, her breath hitching. And then he was moving, his feet shifting one in front of the other, and he was walking by, stirring up the air.

His scent invaded her nostrils, subtle smells of sandalwood, soap and nature – like fresh spring grass or pine trees. With his scent came a flood of memories: healing sessions, kisses, lingering touches, lazy afternoons, time spent together in libraries, their first night together, his whispered confession of _'Because I love you … I love you, Sakura'._

And then the door closed with a thud and a click, snapping her out of her daze.

She spun around, "No, wait!"

She rushed to the door and yanked it open, stepping out. She looked left and then right, but the hallway was empty, completely deserted.

A sob tore from her throat and shook her shoulders and she slowly sank into herself, backing into her single apartment. She shut the door, pressing her back to it as the tears blinded her. No matter how many times she wiped at her eyes, the tears wouldn't stop coming.

She slid to the floor, hugging her knees to herself. These moments were best kept private. She was supposed to be one of Konoha's toughest kunoichi after all.


	8. Figure 8

Hello all! I haven't posted in some time so I figured I would. The temperature dropped where I live once again and the cold night gave me this idea. Simple, cute little KakaSaku one-shot. No smut this time around, so this is totally work safe.  
Thanks to everyone that has read, reviewed, added me and lurked. You are all much appreciated. This hasn't been beta read (since this is just a drabble) so any mistakes are mine alone. I hope you enjoy it ^_^ ja ne!

Title: Figure 8  
Pairing: Kakashi and Sakura  
Rating: PG

* * *

"Say that again."

"You heard me the first time. I don't like to repeat myself."

Sakura was in shock and while such a trivial thing was pretty humorous, there was no time to laugh or poke fun. There was a mission at stake.

"We're in Snow and as many times as you've been here you've never taken it upon yourself to learn how to ice skate?"

Kakashi stood with his arms crossed, his feet firmly rooted tot he floor, and his face expressionless. He seemed so different, so … normal, in this situation, in civilian clothes no less. Seeing the famed Copy Nin dressed in such a fashion was a rarity in itself, but the fact that she was having this conversation at all with him was a little surreal.

Sakura glanced over at the clock on the night stand in the hotel room, fidgeting with the zipper at the top of her sweater in contemplation. "Okay, come with me."

His brow lifted. "Where?"

"Just come on, I'm saving your ass and the mission."

She pulled him from the hotel room and down to the lobby where they received strange looks from the other people coming inside. Kakashi openly scowled but Sakura pressed on, hooking her arm through his.

"Just ignore them."

"Easy for you to say, you don't look bad in civilian clothing like I do."

Sakura paused to glance down at her awkward fitting jeans and thick black sweater. She felt so uncomfortable and he obviously didn't see himself very clearly. "You look fine."

"I don't see how people dress like this."

"Will you stop complaining? You're about as bad as Ino."

He snapped his mouth shut and allowed himself to be dragged through the streets. It was relatively quiet considering ti was close to the holidays and not too many people were braving the cold. Whatever Sakura had planned, he was sure he'd be able to save some of his dignity.

The crisp breeze kept blowing his hair into his eyes and after a few minutes of continuously sweeping it to the side he gave up. He narrowed his eyes as he caught Sakura biting back a laugh.

She straightened and pressed her lips into a thin line as she caught his hard glare. "Sorry."

"Yeah, you sound _real_ remorseful."

She giggled. "Sorry, you have to admit it's kind of funny... And besides, you just look so cute."

"Cute?"

She ignored him and kept walking on. Kakashi had been called many things in his life, but cute wasn't a word he had heard since he was a boy in the Academy. He readjusted the scarf around his neck, causally admiring the small shops that were adorned with little twinkling lights. There was a stand near by selling a hot cocoa drink that he was sure would make his insides tingle with warmth. Then Sakura was opening a door, ushering him inside.

A petite woman on the other side of the counter looked up as they entered. Closing her magazine she spoke up, "I'm sorry Miss, we're about to close."

"I know but I was wondering if you could stay open just a little longer, for us."

The woman darted her amber eyes to Kakashi and then back to Sakura. "I'm sorry but-"

Good. Whatever Sakura had planned wasn't going to work. But he grew suspicious as she leaned over the counter. He couldn't quite make out what she was saying but he clearly heard, "I'll make it worth your while."

He caught a glimpse of a stack of ryou as she passed it across the counter. Since when did Sakura carry around that kind of money? The woman pocketed it without a second thought.

Sakura turned around with a smile. "Why don't you go ahead and go over there?" She pointed to a single door on the right side. "I'll be there in a minute."

Kakashi felt a little apprehensive but he nodded and walked away, hands deep in his pockets. He side stepped, walking past rows of chairs and benches and a locker room. He peered out the window and stopped dead in his tracks. An ice skating rink. Damn it.

Kakashi was all for learning how to ice skate. He would do whatever was necessary for a mission, he just wasn't too teen on the idea of looking like an unbalanced idiot in front of his former student. It seemed as though he didn't have much of a choice as she approached him.

"Come on, lace up." Sakura beamed, holding out a pair of ice skates,

The bladed boot looked more deadly than it should. He took them with a heavy sigh, eying them suspiciously. He looked over to Sakura who was already slipping a foot inside. She tugged back on the laces and began crossing them. He sat beside her and grudgingly followed suit.

Sakura tucked the laces inside the boot and stood, watching as Kakashi seemed to be struggling with some internal war. He finished tying the laces and looked up at her, his visible eye conveying how much he disliked the idea and unknown to him she saw some of his unease as well.

"Are you that insecure about the teacher-student role being reversed?"

His brow knitted and he obviously took some offense to the question. She shook her head. "We're supposed to be equals, aren't we? People learn from each other all the time so don't make this so difficult."

She shut her eyes, took a deep breath and let a smile spread across her face. "Besides, I'm sure you're a fast learner. It'll be fun."

He nodded, defeated. "Yeah."

She reached down taking his hand in hers. "Come on."

Her vivid jade eyes met his and he found himself pushing off of the bench.

His first couple steps were wobbly but he quickly adjusted to walking. The frigid air clashed against his face as they stepped back outside, the ominous frozen surface taunting him. She let go of his hand and the warmth left with her. She put one foot onto the ice and glanced back at him before pushing off with her other foot. He watched as she glided out to the center of the rink and turned around.

"Come on," she called out, beckoning him with a wave her hand. "It's easy."

"Says you," he grumbled.

Holding onto the wall he tentatively placed a skate on the ice.

"It's like walking, all you need to remember is to put one foot in front of the other and don't lock your knees!"

She skated around in small circles while waiting for him to come into the rink. She eyed his progress, smiling when he finally stood without holding onto the wall.

"Come on! Your balance is impeccable, you should be able to do this easily."

"Just because it looks easy doesn't mean it is."

"Hey! Don't lock your knees, keep them slightly bent," she instructed as he attempted to move ahead. As he went to bring his other foot forward he started to slip. Sakura watched on wide eyed as his arms flailed and his feet cam out from under him. He let out an 'oomph' as he landed on his butt. Sakura clamped a hand over her mouth, her brow knitting in worry.

"Are you alright?"

Besides the sting to his arse and his pride, yes he was. He waved her off. "Go ahead and laugh."

She glided gracefully over to him. "Now what kind of person do you take me for?"

"One that'll let me get out of these skates and go back to our room?"

"Nope." She smiled.

"Well, it was worth a try," he stated dryly.

"Up and at 'em." She extended her hand to him.

He peered up at her through his fallen grey locks and then took her offered hand. She helped him to his feet, never once letting go while he regained his balance. She smiled and let go of one of his arms to readjust the scarf around the bottom half of his face. He tensed thinking she meant to take advantage of the situation to get a look at his face, but she merely draped one end back over his shoulder.

"How about you follow me?"

He nodded and she took hold of his hand again. She pulled and after an unbalanced start he was gliding smoothly across the surface. He looked down watching her feet as they moved, as the blades left delicate lines in the ice. They circled the rink twice and then Sakura grinned.

"Now, try to skate. Lightly push off with your right foot and remember to keep your knees bent. I won't let go."

He attempted to do as she said but found he was still pretty unsteady.

"Don't look at your feet."

"I don't want to run into your skates."

"You won't. Just look at me."

He lifted his gaze to meet hers and his heart thumped heavily. The tender pink of her lips were stretched in a soft smile and her cheeks and tip of her nose were rosy, a product of the cold no doubt. A sharp wind blew and she shivered, but though she may have been uncomfortable her eyes, they never stopped shining. He felt himself being absorbed by the depths of her sparkling stare until everything else disappeared and all he could see was her.

Her smile continued to grow and then she laughed and the spell was broken.

"What?" he asked lifting a brow.

"You're doing it!" she exclaimed happily.

Kakashi glanced down and grinned to himself and then a flash of green light caught his attention. They slowly came to a stop as a multitude of colors danced along the ice. Sakura followed Kakashi's gaze to the door where the woman from behind the counter was watching them. She waved to them and then turned and walked away.

"So, feeling more confident in your new shoes?" she asked.

"Yes, why?"

"Cause now it's time to go on your own." She winked at him.

"Wait-"

But she had already let go of his hands and was skating backwards. "Come on Kakashi, skate to me."

He let out an irritated huff but after watching her for a moment he decided it was about time to get a move on. The sooner he got the activity down, the sooner they could get out of the cold.

Sakura watched with a critical eye as he pushed off, bringing one foot forward and then the other, listening to the soothing scratch of the blade against the ice. As he neared her she skated away putting more distance between them. She smiled as she heard his exasperated sigh.

"Oh stop, this isn't nearly as hard as something like chakra manipulation. You're doing really well."

Feeling a little more determined he set off again and the game began. Every time he advanced she moved just as quickly to reclaim distance. Before Kakashi knew it, he was circling and criss-crossing the rink completely at ease. He had been caught up to her for some time now but he found that he was honestly having fun. But now there was a different air settling over the town, the wind had picked up and it had quite a bite to it.

Kakashi reached out and grabbed her hand. She jumped at his cold touch but grinned back at him as the glided toward the wall. Once they stopped, Sakura rubbed her hands together and then placed them against her cheeks.

"I think it's time to call it a night, sensei," Kakashi said amused.

"Very funny." She shook her head catching a glimpse of his trembling fingers. With a sigh she snatched his hand.

"You're freezing. Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"Well you seemed just fine and-"

"Idiot! It's because I was using a little of my chakra to help keep myself warm."

Oh. Well that made sense, didn't it? He stiffly scratched the back of his head and gave her a patented eye crease. She took his other hand to join his first and while her hands were smaller than his she tried her best to cup them around his. She applied just the smallest amount of chakra and sure enough he could feel the beginnings of heat spreading across his skin.

He had been trying to ignore it, the magnetic tugging feeling when he was around her, but her touch seemed to have given him that extra little something that he needed.

"Thank you, Sakura."

Her eyes snapped up. "You're welcome."

They stood there silently watching each other as she warmed his hands. A breeze swept through the frigid night causing the two Konoha nin to shiver. He removed his hands from her and pushed her windblown hair back behind her eras, allowing his fingers to trail and linger on her cheek.

Sakura could feel the sudden change, her body sense it and responded – her heart beat sped and her stomach twisted in anticipation. But then a little white speck caught her eye. She gasped in awe and tilted her head back.

"It's snowing."

She had no idea what her touches and her smiles did to him. Seeing her happy like this, with him in the moment, it tortured him sweetly. Kakashi couldn't take it anymore.

The striped black and grey fleece material of his scarf intruded her line of sight as it was brought over her head and around her neck. She looked back at him, caught off guard by the sight of his bare face. He pulled on the scarf, bringing her closer as he leaned in. Her lips were cold but he didn't mind in the least. Kissing was a good way to warm them after all.

Sakura parted her lips to grant his tongue access and while the exchange was short, it was still enough to daze her. He slowly pulled away from her, not offering any explanation for his actions when she finally opened her eyes to look at him. Sakura was okay with that.

She smiled. "How about we get out of these skates, see if that vendor is still there selling hot cocoa and get back to our nice, warm hotel room.?"

"Best idea yet."


	9. Stronger

CC: It's been awhile since I tossed anything in the Drawer. So here's one for you. Something I had written some time ago and found while cleaning out my notebooks. I figured I should dust it off and put it out there. It's not beta read so any mistakes are mine alone. Feedback's appreciated as always. Thank you to the reviewers so far. You all are made of win.

* * *

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

The first time Sakura said that to Kakashi was after he had woken from a Sharingan induced coma - at four days ahead of his estimated recovery time. He could recall the time spent in the hospital because while Sakura could be just as temperamental as Tsunade, she also treated him very well. She peeled fruit for him and brought him his porn (although he argued it was in fact a well written, fine piece of literature). She also kept away nosey interns and touchy nurses that were just waiting for the tiniest peek of him, body or face, so they would have a story to swap. Sakura understood that a man had pride and dignity and more importantly she knew that he treasured his privacy.

The second time had been after she broke his arm with a chakra laden strike during training. He didn't let on how much it hurt and he even kept up his end of the sparring match. He lost eventually, in part because of the injury, and received quite an earful from the kunoichi once she stopped celebrating her victory and realized what he had done.

She went on and on, lecturing him on all of the problems that could occur if a broken bone wasn't treated properly - and not just for him but for her as well. He had simply sighed and asked her to take care of him. She teased him at first, and even threatened that she should drag him to the hospital and make him suffer. But she relented and they sat in the middle of the torn grounds, her hands aglow with medical chakra. While healing she admitted she was impressed that he had forgone the pain and continued to fight, then she said those words to him. He brushed it off and commented that in a real battle scenario it was instinct to push pain to the back.

He winced when she pushed on his arm and she couldn't help but giggle and tack on that he could be such a baby. Once she fixed the break she kissed his forearm, surprising him.

She smiled at him. "All better!"

She had caught him off guard and all he could do was stare at her; her dirty face with bright eyes and her perfectly pink lips. Her roseate locks were pulled back but some stubborn strands had fallen and brushed against her cheeks and forehead and his fingers itched to brush them aside.

When he didn't say anything she just laughed and asked if he wanted a lollipop too. Her questions snapped him out of his daze and he replied that yes, he would like one very much. So she reached into her back pouch and produced a strawberry lollipop. He learned, as he walked her home, that she often kept extra candy on her for the younger patients. She waved good bye and Kakashi took the long way home, in solitude, so he could enjoy the strawberry flavored treat. Perhaps that was when he started to see her in a new light.

The next time was after a particularly nasty mission. Kakashi rarely ever gave in to the temptation of alcohol, well at least to the point of getting blind stinking drunk, but that night he did. Sakura had originally gone to the pub at Ino's request, a girl's night out since the two were rarely in the village together anymore. Yet the planned girl's night was a bust as her blonde bombshell of a friend hooked up and left her on her own. Sakura's plan was to finish her drink and then go home. There were better things to do than sit in a smoky bar, like finish that drama she started over a year ago or brush up on her medical studies.

She had finished her drink and not wanting to be impolite, she took the glass to the bar. That's when she spotted her former sensei and the empty glasses spread out before him. She'd have been lying if she said she wasn't concerned. So she went over and sat next to him, ordered a round, and talked to him. It took some mindless jibber and a little poking, but to her surprise he did open up to her - just a little. She figured the liquor loosened his lips, but she was grateful that any piece of his armor came away. Drunk or not, she knew the Copy nin wouldn't have talked to her at all if he didn't trust her. She listened intently to what little he would divulge to her and she didn't try to make him feel better by offering cliché sayings, like how everything happened for a reason. She just listened. Even in his inebriated state he was thankful.

She put her arm over his shoulder in a friendly way to offer some sort of comfort. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

They toasted to it and drank.

It wasn't long after that when Sakura lost someone close to her, a person that encouraged her in all her dreams and endeavors: her mother. Co-workers, acquaintances, and friends joined her side the day that they laid her to rest. As the funeral ended and time passed, the guests thinned out. Slowly, even her closest friends went their own way, parting with a hug or words of comfort. Naruto had been the last to leave and she practically had to kick him out of her apartment. She needed some time to herself, although once she had it she felt suffocated. Silence weighed heavy on her and the walls of her room seemed to close in on her. She quickly changed clothes and headed out only to walk aimlessly around the village.

It wasn't until hours later that she found herself near the cenotaph. Her father had been killed in action when she was young. Even though she knew he would not be able to answer her, she wanted to make sure he welcomed his beloved wife with open arms. She was sure their reunion was a happy one. As she approached, she paused as she saw Kakashi there. She didn't want to disturb him, but she was sure he knew she was there anyway and he confirmed it.

"Hello Sakura."

"Sorry, I didn't meant to-"

"It's alright." He turned to look at her. "How are you doing?"

She took a few steps toward him. "Okay, I guess."

They stood side by side quietly until the events of the day finally caught up to Sakura. She sat down with a heavy sigh and Kakashi watched her from the corner of his eye.

She picked at the grass. "Rumor has it that you come here quite often. Is that true?'

"Do you believe everything you hear?"

"Not always." It was silent between them again for a moment before she poke again. "They must be really important to you."

He noticed that she didn't use past tense when speaking of them like most people did. He lightly nodded. "They are."

She fell back from her sitting position, arms open. The lush grass tickled at her skin as she stared up into the sky. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but she was startled when his voice broke her thoughts. He sat down next to her, close enough for her to hear his soft voice as he retold the events that led to the passing of his young friend and the truth behind his Sharingan.

Sakura's vision blurred, the fluffy clouds illuminated by the moonlight and the twinkling of stars merged as one before she blinked, allowing the tears to spill out and down the side of her face. She wasn't sure if she was crying for him or herself, but she hadn't cried since she heard of her mother's death. It just felt _good_ to let it out.

Kakashi had heard her sniffles. "Sakura?"

She sat up and brought her knees in, wiping her eyes. "You know, you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. I envy you."

"You shouldn't. You're strong enough."

Suddenly she didn't feel as if she was and she broke. Kakashi sat there with her, slightly uncomfortable in the situation, but he gave her what comfort he could as she had done for him. When she had tired herself out from crying she apologized. He simply put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

That was the changing point of their friendship. They gradually spent more time together and he became a guest at her weekly dinners with the other members of the disbanded team Kakashi. They were the only family she had left and it was important for them to spend time together when they could.

This particular weekend Sakura walked Naruto and Sai to the door, thanking them for coming as always & she shook her head at their ever constant bickering. Kakashi stayed and helped her clean up although she protested. He stayed for tea and they indulged in conversation. He liked the way she smiled and brushed the hair from her face. She liked the way he sounded when he chuckled and the way his fingers brushed hers when they both reached for the teapot.

As the hour turned late she walked him to the door, making sure to tell him how much she enjoyed his company. She reached for the door but he stopped her and grabbed her wrist. She looked up at him, her lips parted to say his name only it never came as he tugged his mask down just enough to press his lips to hers.

Sakura was surprised at first, but she quickly accepted it and her eyes fell closed. She kissed back a little forcefully. His hand gripped her hip as he pushed her body against the door with his, his knee pressed between her thighs. His hand smoothed up her left side and over her shoulder and then her neck to twine in her hair. His lips were hot as they trailed over her neck, feather light. She let out a sigh. He felt so good, so _so_ incredibly good. He slanted his mouth over hers again. His tongue slipped in to meet hers for a small moment, she tasted of honey and tea and gods, she was so warm! Her fingers curled in his shirt as she moaned into his mouth and then his reasoning kicked in. It screamed at him to stop, it told him how wrong this was. Then he pulled away completely, his body instantly missing her warmth.

Sakura remained against the door, eyes closed and well aware of the heat in her cheeks and in the pit of her being. Kakashi calmed himself and laughed humorlessly. Te sounds caused her to open her eyes.

"You're right," he offered.

"What? I don't-"

"Sakura, I should leave."

"Wait, you don't have to go."

"Don't tell me that. I'm not as strong as you think I am when I'm with you."

She reached for him. "But that's okay. You don't have to be so strong all the time. Please, stay."

"I can't, Sakura."

He reached under her arm and began pulling the door open which forced her to move. He glanced back at her. "I'm sorry."

She didn't understand and she was feeling so, so … frustrated and she could feel the tears welling up and she hated that another man had reduced her to them. She wanted to be with him and she thought he did too, especially after that mind numbing kiss. So why was he doing this? She didn't want to cry, but she could feel it coming and it angered her.

She shook her head at him. "No you're not."

He tore his gaze from her and squeezed through the door. He sighed heavily as the door closed. The cool night air prickled at his skin. There was a bang on the other side of the door followed by a string of curses.

He hung his head. "Yes, I am Sakura. You have no idea."


	10. The Fever Breaks

CC: Hey everyone! It's that time of year again. NaNoWriMo is here. So I probably won't update this month since I will be focusing on that. If you're in dire need of some KakaSaku goodness, then you can check out the Underneath the Underneath anonymous challenge at the KakaSaku LJ community. There are 19 fics that this contest produced and it's really amazing! Anywho, I wanted to give this one to you guys before giving all my attention to NaNo. Everyone that has reviewed and favorited - you rock. I'm glad I could make something that is enjoyed by others. As usual, I hope you enjoy this and reviews aren't necessary but appreciated. This has not been beta-read so any mistakes are mine alone. I don't own Naruto, but wish I did. I'll be back come December!

* * *

The soft autumn breeze swept through the open window. A cold front was approaching and it was eagerly welcomed. The summer had been cruel; scorching temperatures reached record highs day after day. The drought this year had been particularly bad and water supplies were still limited.

Warmth tingled through her legs, a slow crawl up her calf, under her knee, her inner thigh. She twitched and was vaguely aware of the sweat that had beaded at the back of her neck. It was hot, unbearably so and the storm couldn't get there fast enough. The scent of rain thickly permeated the air and seemed to almost press in on her.

Warmth radiated at her belly, trailing lazily up her abdomen and the valley of her breasts. Her breath hitched. Up along her shoulder to her neck and jaw, it grazed her bottom lip. A light breeze wafted in and a faint echo of thunder rumbled in the distance. The fiery touch engulfed her entire left side and spread across her breasts and lips.

Slick muscle slipped in past her lips to explore the cavern of her mouth thoroughly, hungrily. Heat gripped her breast, twisted around it and tugged at the pebbled peak. She gasped.

His mouth hovered above hers. "I'm home."

She had felt his chakra signature before he even opened the front door. "Hi," she whispered back, eyes still closed.

Calloused fingertips slipped under her flimsy tank top and slowly danced along her heated skin, lifting the shirt as it went. A wet flame circled her nipple and sucked. Rough ridges of teeth pressed into her ever so gently and then the sensation was gone. Feather light kisses peppered down her stomach. Her muscles flexed under his touch as she lightly lifted herself to peel off her shirt.

She sighed, if only the removal of clothes would just cool her off, but it didn't. A light sheen of sweat already covered her, but he didn't seem to mind. Fingers curled into the sides of her panties and tugged them down. His body was next to hers again, his breath puffed out against her neck. Her room lit up for a split second as lightning raced across the night sky. It was getting closer. Thunder rolled, a little louder than before. _Closer_.

His tongue darted out to curl at her earlobe, sucking it between his lips as a finger pressed down on her most sensitive place at the apex of her mound. She mewled and he smirked.

Circles, soft and teasing, were drawn around her hot little button. There was a pause as his fingers dipped and ran along her velvety folds, feeling the moisture that began to gather. She bit down on her lip as he found her pearl again. She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. A heated, mismatched gaze met hers and he took in the expressions that flittered across her face; a subtle widening of her eyes or a twitch of her lips as he worked her clit.

A naked torso, hot and hard, was pressed against her side and she looped her arm around his, feeling the muscles in his forearm move as he flicked slick fingers over her.

"Ka-"

His mouth silenced hers, drinking down her sighs and moans as the thunder grew louder. _So much closer_. He was stealing her breath and her lungs ached for air no matter how sticky and humid it was, but he would not let her go, not until -

He pulled away leaving her gasping for air, her toes curled and her hand gripping his arm as a wave of ecstasy crashed over her.

"Beautiful." She heard him whisper.

Wind swept through the window and there was an airy whistle as it pushed through the other cracks in the building. Thunder boomed chasing the lightning that split the sky. There was a soft pitter-patter as the first rain drops fell to the earth, splattering against rooftops, trees, and the parched soil.

Her hand reached for his face and then his body was moving to cover hers, burning skin atop burning skin and his touches - gentle, sensual, searing - were everywhere. The rain began to fall more freely. His face buried in the crook of her neck. She could feel the slight stubble along his jaw as he smoothed his lips along her skin.

The blunt tip of him bumped against her thigh. He was hard and she was ready, she teasingly rolled up against him. With fingers threaded in her silky pink tresses and his lips brushing hers, he moved. Slowly. She gasped. Thunder rumbled. He groaned as her slick folds parted and her gloriously tight, wet, heat accepted him. He murmured a curse under his breath as he buried himself in her completely.

"Kakashi."

Her voice was soft, his name played like a passionate serenade and gods did he want to make her sing. He started to pump his hips, moving with deep purposeful thrusts. Her legs circled him and she matched his movements, panting beneath him. He hissed and whispered harshly in her ear that he was happy to be back, how he had missed her and that _fuck,_ she felt so good. She only whimpered in response, her nails biting into his shoulders as he bumped a spot deep within her.

Sweat beaded along his forehead and neck and she reached to kiss him. She could feel herself being pulled and shifted but she was so lost to the feeling of him inside her to really care. When the dizzying kiss broke, Kakashi lazily smiled as he watched her realize the position they were in. Her legs were still wrapped around him as she sat in his lap. He pushed damp hair off her neck and latched his mouth to her. She snaked a hand into his thick hair and rocked her hips, steadily growing faster.

The lamp in the corner of her room flickered, the drumming of the rain on the rooftop increased.

Sakura let her head fall back as his mouth traveled across her collarbone and she continued to roll and grind against him. There was a loud roar of thunder and lightning buzzed through the night. The lamp and the single oscillating fan (which did nothing more than push the hot air around) suddenly ceased to work. The neighboring lights all flickered out and they were left in the waiting darkness.

Kakashi's hands, strong and rough from combat, took hold of her hips to aid in keeping the rhythm she had set. A gust of wind blew through her window, upsetting the curtains and prickling their sweat slicked skin. Her wanton moans were drowned out by the cascading rainfall and he caught glimpses of her pleasure with every flash of lightning. She trembled and rippled around him.

"Kakashi … please …"

He bucked up as she came down and her cry of bliss was seductive to his ears and he wanted nothing more than to hear that sound over and over until she was coming undone and screaming his name. He drove her onto him, thrusting upward each time, their harsh breathing colliding with each other. Her hands clutched to him desperately. Words resembling "don't stop" and "I'm almost there" were barely heard.

He had taken her to the height of euphoria and she was hanging on by a mere thread. The amount of electricity that was built up inside of her was overwhelming.

"Cum for me Sakura," he rasped, hardly able to keep his own release in check.

His mouth fell open as she crashed down on him, feminine muscle clamping tightly around him. She ground her hips, the broken syllables of his name slipped repeatedly from her kiss bruised lips and pleasured sobs wracked her body. She pulsed around him, milked him, as he spilled his seed deep into her womb.

He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to him to enjoy a lazy, satisfied kiss. He deftly maneuvered them on the bed, lying her on her back before pulling himself from her.

The duvet was forgotten, kicked off of her bed long before he arrived. He slipped the thin sheet up around their waists and held her in a loose embrace as their hearts calmed, listening to the unwavering fall of rain.

Time seemed to pass sluggishly. With the power out and the clouds blocking the moon it was hard to tell what hour it was. But the thunder seemed to grow distant once again as the lovers finally succumbed to sleep. The wind stirred outside, kicking up leaves that had fallen and drifted past Sakura's window sill. It raised gooseflesh on her arm and she curled up closer to the comforting, familiar person next to her.


	11. Nothing As It Seems

CC: This was my entry for the KakaSaku Anonymous challenge at the KakaSaku LJ comm. It was a really great contest and there were many awesome fics to gorge myself on. For those of you haven't read it or visit the comm, here it is. The rules were simple: we were given an opening and ending sentence, all we had to do was come up with a story that connected them (however long we wanted it, whatever genre, etc). This is what I produced. A huge thanks to nimblnymph who organized the contest. (I warn you now the fic is a tad morbid and angsty and sad ...)

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Nothing As It Seems [Slipping Through My Fingers]  
Kakashi & Sakura  
Rated M

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It started with a bang, literally - his morning, everything- all at once. Thunder boomed and rumbled in from the west rousing him from an already fitful sleep. A lone charcoal eye opened and looked to the window in sleepy dissatisfaction. Dark, ominous clouds covered the sky blocking any hope for sun. Kakashi rolled over onto his back and rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. Sleep was supposed to give the body rest, not take away from it.

A knock, loud and repetitive, sounded at the door. As he rose from the bed another clap of thunder echoed angrily in the heavens. The cold of the floor was a shock to his feet but he ignored it, adjusted his mask, and made his way through the small single apartment to the door where the impolite banging continued. He was already at odds with his neighbor, and the incessant knocking so early in the morning would surely put another dent in their relationship.

He wrenched the door open and leveled the group of masked nin on the other side with a glare.

"The Hokage needs to see you," the one in front spoke, voice impassive.

"I'll be there soon."

"Immediately."

Kakashi studied him for a brief moment and then nodded. "I'll be there."

"We're to escort you."

With a sigh Kakashi left the door open and retreated to his room to get dressed, and quickly at that. If Tsunade's request to see him was this urgent, it could only be about one thing: Sakura. He fixed his hitai-ate, threw on his flak vest, and stuffed his feet into his zori. Routine pleasures like showers and oral hygiene would simply have to wait.

Kakashi reappeared at the door, closing it behind him as he stepped outside. The three ANBU operatives that were sent to fetch him now led the way. It wasn't until they ventured into the village that Kakashi realized it was earlier than he has assumed. The streets were empty, the stores closed, and the houses dark and silent - its occupants still enjoying the warmth and solace of bed.

With a heavy feeling settling in his chest, Kakashi reached into his inside pocket to fish out his prized companion. He wanted something to distract him or simply hide behind. He had never been a man to hide, but he suddenly felt like doing so and the looming presence of the masked nin wasn't helping matters.

The one closest to Kakashi finally spoke. "You two go ahead."

"But Captain, we were ordered-"

"You were _ordered_ to go ahead. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

Without hesitation, the other two ANBU disappeared. Kakashi looked beside him and raised a brow. "Scaring your subordinates, kohai?"

"Hn, I don't understand why all of the extra security is necessary, you don't need it. Besides, he wouldn't dare show up here."

"Is that what this is about?" he asked, the light-weight, orange jacketed book in his grasp momentarily forgotten.

"I can't say."

"Tenzou, is Sakura awake?"

"I don't know."

"It's been over a month," Kakashi argued.

Tenzou eyed his friend and chose his words carefully. "Tsunade-sama has been hard at work, trying to do anything and everything she can for her. You're not the only one that cares about her."

Kakashi looked away from him as they continued to the Tower. He was well aware that many people cared for Sakura, even Tenzou himself did after spending time with the Team and therefore becoming a part of their family. Didn't he understand that Kakashi didn't need to be reminded of how he had failed? Perhaps he could ask Tsunade to lift the restrictions placed on him. Being confined to the village didn't suit him well and he could better serve by being out there and looking for _him_. Besides, he hated the way the usually bubbly kyubi container looked at him when their paths crossed. Naruto didn't blame him, he knew that, but the emotion that lay in those eyes of his hurt him more than any words or physical pain he could ever inflict on him. The urge to disappear rose in him once again.

Tenzou lifted a hand to place on his shoulder but he hesitated and let his arm fall to his side once again. "ANBU squad nineteen is following a lead right now, east of Ame. They said -"

"You shouldn't share that information with me."

"I know, it's supposed to be classified, but I can't stand the way you-"

Tenzou was surprised as he turned a dark stare to him and in an icy tone he had only heard on occasion he said, "No, I mean that little piece of intel is enough to encourage me to find the bastard and kill him myself, to hell with what the Hokage's ordered me to do."

His head dropped and he softly murmured an apology. Kakashi slid the book back into place in his pocket, there was nowhere to hide from the feeling rising in him. He felt guilty for snapping now and wanted to let his friend know that it was okay. He knew he was just trying to make him feel better, but he couldn't even bring himself to do that.

That day was burned into his memories. Over a month ago, Team Kakashi had been dispatched to put an end to a group that was wreaking havoc in a small civilian town. The stories that two of the escapees came with were truly horrifying; women taken from their families to act as harlots and men doing hard labor and providing weaponry, food, and shelter for these people and being killed if they refused. When they heard that the leader of the whole thing was a 'dark-haired man with strange red eyes' Tsunade jumped on it.

Naruto, the ever kind-spirited, devoted young man he was, believed he could still save the man that had been one of his first bonds and begged for a chance to reason with him, if it was Sasuke that was behind it all. After days of trailing they finally made contact and they were not prepared. The team that Sasuke had assembled had grown and they were a vicious lot, and clever.

They had succeeded in separating the Team, leaving each one with their own group to suppress before even considering getting close to the Uchiha. Kakashi should have given the order to fall back, to regroup, something … anything. When Sasuke's group suddenly retreated, he just _knew_ something had gone wrong.

He came across Sai first, nursing an injured shoulder, and Naruto found them soon after, but Sakura never appeared. They split up to look for her, each man with a different worry plaguing his heart. Kakashi was the one to stumble across her. She was sprawled on her back. Her hair, tangled with leaves and twigs, was fanned out on the forest floor. Stray locks were stuck to her face held by tears that seemed to continuously leak from the corner of her eyes. And her beautiful jade orbs were now hollow, glassed over, as they started out at nothing.

He fell to his knees beside her and gathered her in his arms, cradling her body to his. She was still breathing, her heart was still beating, but she remained unmoving, unresponsive. His chest tightened and he buried his face in to the crook of her neck.

"Sakura… Sakura, I'm so sorry."

When Tsunade examined her, the news she returned with wasn't very good. She was trapped in some sort of waking dream and her sense of reality was askew - and the only person capable of doing that to her was Sasuke. It wasn't like your typical genjutsu, whatever he had done had implanted itself in her brain and neurological procedures were risky. Yet Tsunade was determined, but progress was slow. Still, a piece of Kakashi was optimistic -no matter how tiny- and he hoped that she was summoning him with good news to tell.

Tenzou left him at the door to Tsunade's office with nothing more than a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder.

"Come in." Her voice echoed before he had the opportunity to knock.

Kakashi entered and moved to stand in front of her desk.

"Lets skip formalities. Sakura's been awake for some time now but …" Tsunade sighed and Kakashi realized how completely exhausted she looked. "She's stuck, resigned to living in the illusion that Sasuke created for her. I broke through once, but it didn't last. There are only a few options left to explore."

"And you need me?"

"I think if someone else that she was close to was around, then maybe …"

"Why not Naruto?"

"Because I know you can handle it. I know that you and Sakura were close in ways that you two obviously thought I wouldn't figure out."

Kakashi faintly blushed. "I don't know what to -"

"I may be old, but I'm not stupid. Just try. I'll take you to her."

He nodded stiffly and followed her out of the office. Yet instead of going to the hospital, Tsunade led him down stairs to a floor in the Tower he had only been to once or twice in his entire ninja career. They were greeted by ANBU and Tsunade opened the door. Kakashi went to follow her but she stopped him and went in first, closing the door behind her.

Kakashi stood in the hallway feeling a bit awkward, but he kept his expression blank with his arms crossed loosely in front of his chest. He couldn't see their eyes but he felt like they were staring at him through those damned masks. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long and Tsunade emerged, waving him over. Her expression was grim and he was suspicious and he made sure to let her know this.

"What are you not telling me?"

"She's not expecting you and her reaction to you, it won't be pleasant. Sasuke," she paused. "He messed with her memories."

"How?"

This was the part she didn't want to admit. "I'm not entirely sure, but she thinks you're dead."

Dead? This was not going to go well. His insides twisted at the thought of the woman he cared so much for thinking he no longer existed when he still had many years (hopefully) left of life, years that he wanted to share with her.

"I can handle it," he said, reminding her of her words, and attempting to convince himself as well.

He moved by to open the door when he heard her softly say, "I hope so."

His heart was pounding as he pulled the door open and without hesitation he walked in and closed it behind him.

Sakura was laying on the cot in the far corner of the room. He stepped forward and took a steadying breath. "Sakura?"

She rolled over and her eyes slowly opened to look at him. Her dull green orbs widened as she bolted upright. She recognized him, he was certain, but her eyes were wide with fear - as if she had been trapped by a vicious animal.

"It's okay," he began, but she would not have it.

She screamed and scrambled into the farthest corner of the cot. Her hands came up to grab at her head. She clenched her eyes shut and he could pick up the words that were being chanted. "Not real, not real, he's not real …"

Kakashi clenched his jaw. Anger swelled in him and an all too familiar pain constricted in his chest, seeming to squeeze at his heart. His voice sounded more pleading than he'd have liked for it to. "Sakura, it's me."

"No! You're dead … Kakashi's …" she choked back a sob. "He killed you! I watched him …" Her hands were trembling as she brought them to cover her face. Kakashi's hands were trembling as well but from a far different reason. His knuckles ached as he un-balled his fists.

"That wasn't real. I'm here," he assured her.

She made a small noise. "No, no. I-I held you as … y-your blood was-" her sentence died off as the sobs she had been fighting broke free.

"Damn it, Sakura, I'm not dead. You have to remember," he exclaimed as he came forward.

She merely curled further into herself at his words. How could Sasuke do such a thing? The images and memories he created for her must have been truly horrible. Had his former pupil really turned so cold and cruel, to hurt those that cared for him the most? To think that he had once seen a part of himself in that lonely, angry boy. He had wanted to help him. He thought he was doing the right thing, doing something good, by embracing his role as sensei, to mentor him. And now he wanted to snap his neck.

Slowly he came forward and sat on the edge of her bed and cautiously reached to her. She jumped as his hand met her arm and she backed away from him, pressing herself against the wall. His eyes softened, he suddenly missed the way she would lean into his touch and smile up at him.

He yanked down his mask and pushed his hitai-ate up, gently closing his eye. He turned toward her and firmly held her arms. "Sakura, look at me. Touch me. I'm alive and I'm here with you."

"You can't be," she whispered.

"Naruto, Sai, you, and myself, we went on a mission to help a village, remember? Sasuke was leading them, we got separated. It shouldn't have happened, I should have taken charge and ordered for us to retreat. When we finally regrouped you were missing. You encountered Sasuke, alone."

She shook her head. "Stop."

"I found you and you were alone in some sort of catatonic state."

"No! I was fighting Sasuke when you showed up. You ... you told me to go, but I wouldn't leave. If it hadn't been for me … He ran a chidori through you, I saw it and I couldn't stop it! I heard it, it was so loud…" The girl was hysterical., fresh tears carved a trail down her cheeks.

"Sakura-"

"And there was nothing I could do to help you. I couldn't save you."

"That didn't happen. Sasuke used the Sharingan on you. I was never injured, I _never_ fought him."

"But, you did, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"Sakura, you have to remember what you were taught about the Sharingan, remember your training! This right here," he paused and pulled her hands to him, to touch his chest. "This is very real."

He let go of her hands to gently cup her face. She was startled at the contact but did not pull away. He opened his left eye and their gazes met and it all fell silent. He stared into her eyes; hard, searching, hoping, pleading for her to recall anything at all, for her to believe him and return to him. She raised a hand and placed it to his face, tracing the scar under his left eye. She tailed down his cheek and jaw, his neck, along his arm to rest over the hand on her face.

"Kakashi."

He lightly nodded and she closed her eyes and leaned forward into him. He wrapped his arms around her and let his guard fall as she finally hugged him back.

"You're so warm," she muttered into his chest. "You're really here."

"I am."

She pulled back to look up at him. Her eyes had welled with tears but she refused to let them fall. She eagerly pressed her lips to his taking him by surprise. He kissed back for a moment before breaking away.

"Sakura, wait, this is too fast. You're still recovering and Tsunade needs to see you. This is the first time _I've_ seen you since what happened."

"I know."

"We'll have plenty of time."

"I know but, I've been without you, without anyone, for so long. I've missed the way you make me feel."

She leaned into his touch as he swept some loose hair behind her ear. The sad look on her face was heartbreaking and he wanted nothing more than to see her smile, just once. He rubbed his thumb over her lips as if he could erase the frown.

"Kiss me, please." Her hands curled into his shirt. "Please."

She was begging for a kiss. Begging. And he couldn't see her that way. So he tilted her face to his and allowed their lips to meet. She brought herself closer to him, needing to _feel_ him and she desperately pressed to deepen the kiss. His lips parted and he felt himself sigh. The smooth, velvety swipe of her tongue against his was heavenly and he truly had missed being with her. He was relieved and grateful to have her in his arms again.

She took charge as she crawled into his lap and let her hands float all over his body. Before he realized it, she was grinding against him and panting into his mouth, her hands working the buttons on his pants.

"Slow down," he managed to say. _We should stop while I still can_ never made it out of his mouth because it was covered by hers and then she was fisting his length, stroking him to full hardness. He gasped and pulled back, biting down on his lip as her breath fanned across his neck, followed by lips and tongue. He should stop her, he knew it, but couldn't act on it. He wasn't sure when she had removed her panties but she was suddenly aligning him to her entrance and sinking down onto him. He grunted and groaned as he was fully sheathed in her tight, blissful, heat.

"Hold me," she whispered. So he did. He held her close, their chests pressed together as she began to move. Then nothing mattered anymore. Kakashi didn't seem to care that they were in a room in the Tower with ANBU right outside. So what if they were on a lumpy excuse for a bed and still half dressed? Right now he had Sakura and that was all that was important.

She moaned and trembled against him and he guided her arms around his neck. She wove her fingers into his hair and gasped as she came down onto him again and again. He moved her legs and maneuvered them on the bedding so she was flat on her back and he was at liberty to push into her. He moved with slow, deep thrusts, taking in the feel of her rippling and clenching around him. She angled her hips and met him move for move. Her hands gripped his shoulders as soft moans fell from her lips. She felt so good and he was already so close.

"Kakashi, I'm - "

Perhaps she was being mindful of the company just outside, but usually when he brought her to climax she would cry out in sheer bliss, moaning and panting with each additional thrust until he followed her. Yet this time she was quieter, moaning through tight pressed lips as her body shook, her head tossing from side to side. Her slick feminine walls clamped down around him and a noise resembling her name was growled into her shoulder as he spilled his seed inside her with short, jerky thrusts.

Tired and sated, Kakashi was content to stay there and rest against her, but that's when he noticed that something wasn't quite right. Sakura's breathing wasn't regular, not that he expected it to be steady after all, but it kept hitching and she was shuddering against him. He pulled away to look at her but her face was turned away from his. He rolled off of her and to her side.

"Sakura?"

He coaxed her to look at him. Her eyes were glistening with tears and he smoothed a hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry," she said and then broke down. He didn't want to smother her, he knew she must still be coping and getting adjusted and he suddenly felt like an animal. He really should have stopped her. Regardless, he wanted her to know that she wasn't alone so he put his arm around her and let his fingers massage and play at the back of her neck, raking his fingers through her hair.

After a few minutes of good crying she started to calm down; sobs gave way to sniffles which eventually faded as well. The silence stretched on between them and for a moment he thought maybe she had fallen asleep, but then her soft voice reached his ears.

"You're going to leave soon, aren't you?"

"Just for a while. Tsunade's going to have to see you."

She sat up and found her panties and slipped them back on. Instead of sitting back down again, she walked around the small room. So Kakashi got out of bed and fastened his pants and straightened his clothes.

"Am I going to see you again?" she asked as she turned toward him.

"Of course. Why would you ask a question like that?"

She looked up at him and placed her hand on his bare cheek, letting her thumb stroke over his jaw. She sighed and gave a sad smile. "I think I understand now, why you had that haunted look in your eye sometimes."

"Sakura-"

"What should I do? Do you think I should tell Tsunade?"

He wasn't quite following her train of thought. "About?"

"You and what just happened," she stated as if it were obvious.

"I don't believe she'd care to know all the details."

"What if she thinks I'm crazy? She'll never believe I saw you, let alone …" Her voice trailed off and the strange look from earlier returned.

Kakashi took a step back from her, her hand falling away from him. He watched as she turned and paced the room wringing her hands together. She was mumbling to herself. His knees felt weak and his stomach turned as he finally understood - she never once believed he was really alive and with her. He went to call her name but his throat felt tight and dry.

She squatted in the middle of the floor and hugged her knees. "You're going to haunt me forever."

He clenched his jaw and held his breath. He didn't know why, he wasn't sure if it was to fight the nauseated feeling rising in his stomach or the tears pricking at his eyes. Team 7 was the first group of students he had passed. They were the first group he brought himself to care for and he never considered that those feelings would ever evolve into something more, especially with a woman like Sakura. And now … now it was all being taken away.

Sakura stood and walked over to him, her mood shifting once more, and she held out his hitai-ate for him to take. He reached for it but lacked the will to tie it back in place. She leaned into him and placed a chaste kiss to his mouth. She took a good, hard look at him and to Kakashi, it was as if she was trying to memorize every feature about him. Then, she raised his mask and slipped it back into place.

There was a knock on the door before it opened and Shizune entered. She offered a small smile as she approached Sakura. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, just a little tired," she replied, nervously looking away from Kakashi.

"How about some tempura for lunch?"

"Sounds good."

"Okay. Tsunade will be by shortly."

Shizune turned and headed back to the door, glancing out of the corner of her eye at Kakashi as she passed by. She wanted to give him some kind of reassurance, but it really wasn't her place and she didn't want to give him a false sense of hope. Only her action (or rather, inaction) seemed to further convince Sakura that Kakashi was not really there.

"So, I guess you're going now huh?"

Kakashi nodded, still unable to bring himself to say anything.

"I look forward to seeing you again, I don't care if everyone thinks I'm crazy."

He swallowed thickly and turned around. He needed to get out of there, be by himself and try to wrap his head around what just happened. He closed the door behind him and came face to face with a surprised Tsunade.

She took in Kakashi's appearance, his wrinkled shirt, the distraught look in his eye and the hitai-ate dangling from his fingers. "Kakashi, what happened?"

He met her gaze and for a moment she could perfectly read him and she knew that things had not gone well.

"What happened?" she asked again.

She saw his hand sign a little too late. "Hatake!" She reached for him but he poof-ed away and she was left grasping at smoke. She growled. "That damn brat."

"Should we go after him Hokage-sama?"

"No, leave him be," she answered with a sigh. She opened the door and was greeted by a smiling Sakura.

"Hey, Shizune was just here," she said.

"Really? So what's for lunch today?"

"Tempura."

Tsunade nodded with a faint smile. "So, have you been having anymore headaches lately?"

"A few, but they're manageable." Sakura watched as she jotted down a few notes. "Um, Tsunade-shishou?"

"Yes?"

"Do you … This is going to sound silly but, do you believe in ghosts?"

"Ghosts?"

Sakura nodded and Tsunade put her arm around her, understanding now and silently offering Kakashi an apology.

.oOo.

He hadn't eaten all day and as the first pub opened that afternoon, Kakashi found himself sitting in the farthest corner filling his stomach with shochu. He felt trapped, suffocated, under the weight that had settled on his shoulders. Nothing had helped him escape; not his literature, or visiting the cenotaph, or even the glasses of alcohol that kept coming.

He slapped some ryou on the table and stumbled out of the back door. His limbs felt loose, his cheeks warm and his head light, but his heart still ached and nothing dulled that pain. On top of it all was the guilt, guilt for not acting sooner and possibly avoiding what happened to Sakura, guilt for not stopping her earlier. She was so warm and inviting and he was weak and so happy to see her and to touch her, to smell her. But to her, he was just a ghost (a sick perverted ghost who still took pleasure in her body, his mind added).

He swayed on his feet and suddenly his stomach lurched. He doubled over, coughed, and ripped his mask down just in time as his stomach decided to empty itself. He cleared his throat and spit before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He fixed himself and continued miserably down the street. He passed by a convenience store then paused and backtracked.

With his purchase tucked away in his pocket he ventured back to his apartment where he made his way to the rooftop. He sat on the ledge facing the north that overlooked the grand forest that stretched all the way to the Fire Temple. He pulled the box from his pocket and unwrapped it. He tilted his head back and stared out into the grey sky that concealed the sun.

He didn't think his day would end like this: alone on the roof, craving the warmth from the sun, from petite arms wrapped around his shoulders, fighting back tears and ignoring the tender rumbling of his stomach. He didn't think it would end with his mind full of doubts and memories of his other mistakes. There was a brief flicker of fire and the strong familiar scent of tobacco tickled his nose, raced down his throat and filled his lungs. His optimism had led to the crushing feeling that was now encompassing him.

He had pictured himself curled up with a good book after a good meal, or curled up with his favorite green-eyed woman. Instead he clutched onto Asuma's favorite blend (the best in Fire, he had said) that was only sold at that corner store and laughed humorlessly. His day -his imperfect, gut-wrenching, emotionally exhausting day - it ended with a cigarette.


	12. Dream to Keep

CC: Hey everyone! So I know my last update (my entry for the LJ comm) was a little dark and sad, so here's one to make up for it. This little idea just hit me so I ran with it. I'm not too pleased with the ending, my apologies. I think I just lost steam at the end. Hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway. All mistakes are mine as this hasn't been beta read. Reviews are welcome and appreciated. Enjoy! - Deni

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Kakashi was a solitary man, he always had been. It wasn't that he was anti-social, he could hold a conversation quite well and he knew how to light up a room and put people at ease. Some would say he was charming even. Many people had the misconception that he was lonely, but there's a difference between being lonely and being alone. Kakashi simply liked being alone.

At least he thought so.

There came a day when he realized that he liked having company more than he should and the circumstances made him feel lousy. The day that Sakura came to him with red-rimmed eyes and the fragile look of a girl about to break, but the stubbornness to hold onto the mask of strength, changed everything.

She had confided in him. She felt broken and useless and she had believed that she was past feeling that way.

"The one person that gave me life and I couldn't even save hers," she had said through the sniffles.

She knew that ninja were supposed to suppress emotions, but she didn't know it was possible to feel as numb as she was. It stroke a chord with him, his younger self, and the mistakes that still haunted him poked at his heart. That sort of burden shouldn't have to be shouldered by someone as young and alive as Sakura and he told her so. If she was so numb she wouldn't be here with him, on the verge of tears.

Her heart was beating. She was warm. She could learn to forgive herself because it wasn't her fault. She would smile again because she was very much alive. He had assured her of this. Her breath hitched when he wiped the swelling tears from her eyes. He smiled softly at her and then she shocked him by leaning in and kissing him.

She fought back when he tried to stop her, overpowering him with her monstrous strength and unrelenting kisses until he was responding. When she stopped, it was sudden and she leaned against him, her breath puffing against his shoulder. It took Kakashi a moment to gather his words, but in that time she had already found some.

"My heart's pounding so fast." She had whispered. Her hand rested against his chest. "So is yours." Still collecting her breath she looked up at him. "It feels good, doesn't it?"

Oh, did it ever!

With his mask struggling to hold onto his chin, he didn't stop her from pulling it the rest of the way off nor did he resist when she pressed her lips to his again. He even complied when she un-tucked his shirt and tugged it up, exposing lean muscle that bore the proof of how battle worn he was. He sighed, and smiled, and gasped as she touched her lips to each blemish.

He remembered the way she blushed as she revealed herself to him. She told him about her insecurities and he encouraged her, she really had nothing to be so self conscious about. He traced the few scars that marred her otherwise flawless (in his opinion) skin and when he inquired about them, she promised to tell him some other time. He had much to learn about her and she was going to start teaching him that night.

It was after that when he had started to seek her out on his own accord, and not even for sex. He found that he _enjoyed_ walking with her to work, meeting her for tea, and sitting atop the roof of her home to stare up at the sky. They didn't even have to talk. Silence was comfortable and it was in those moments that he felt she accepted him for who he was wholeheartedly.

When he was assigned an extended mission to Kawa, Sakura sent him off properly. He didn't mind that he was a little tired on the trip out.

He had told her that while he was gone she could do whatever she liked. He didn't expect her to wait around for him, she was young and she should live life as happily as she could; experience whatever she'd want to. He was a witness to how fleeting life could be and he didn't want her to hold back on his account.

Her brow had quirked and she looked him straight in the eye. She didn't say anything, she just held his gaze. He had never seen that look in her eyes before. She cast a glance away and sighed.

"Okay. Please, be careful."

He only nodded once and then they shared a brief kiss before he was tossing his bag over his shoulder.

He knew he was only a two-day trek away from Konoha, propped up in the mountainous region between Fire and Sand. There were some nights though when the fog licked the roads and crawled through the grass, yet the sky was so clear and the stars scattered for miles, did he really feel he was much farther away. Sometimes on those nights he felt a little lonely. He didn't like to admit it and he even refused to acknowledge it himself. He had been alone so many other times before, so many other outposts and camps, this wasn't any different. But he'd look upward, still amazed at the sheer number of twinkling lights in the sky, and he'd long for the petite body that usually sat by his side.

He found himself having quite pleasant dreams those nights; dreams of her eyes, and her hair, and her lips. He had dreams of her soft skin and her warm scent and breathing it in and gliding his hands across her. He dreamt of quiet afternoons and cool night winds … harsh pants. Gentle tongue. Wanton cries.

There were some occasions he'd wake in the morning and head straight to the bathing facilities. Whether it was a cold shower - or a nice warm one where those images were still fresh in his mind and he would grit his teeth, biting back the moan that signaled his end - the water still took away the evidence of his desire for her.

There was a day that he and his partner, a newly appointed Jounin named Hoya, were on duty. It was just like every other patrol, just like every other night. They were walking along the border of the village, the tops of the trees lingered just below them and in the darkness it was hard to see the floor of the forest beyond.

Kakashi had stooped down to examine a track in the dirt when they were ambushed. They put up more of a fight than their enemy planned for and managed to make it back to their camp with their lives because of it. Hoya was badly injured and Kakashi was a little worse for wear. The medic that was stationed with them wasn't as gentle as Sakura normally was. She was older, and mean, and considered using her chakra to heal his wounds a waste since they weren't too serious. Sakura would heal even the tiniest scratch if she had the time and the chakra.

Kakashi refused to wince as the medic roughly handled his arm as she wrapped it. She was frank when she spoke to him as well. "If you don't like the way I treat you, then don't get hurt again."

Kakashi went to bed that night hoping the remainder of his stay would pass by quickly. He was missing home. He wasn't even sure if Sakura would be there when he got back, but he hoped that she was.

It was a month later when he trudged through the gates of Konoha. It was late and he was tired. A shower and his own bed called to him and he had every intention of answering. He clicked on the light in his apartment and shivered as she stepped inside. More than three months away from home during the winter with the heater off had left his single bedroom quarters quite frigid. He turned on the heater and cranked it up, listening to it pop and groan as it came alive. At least the shower would be hot and boy, was it!

He wiped the steam from the mirror, feeling refreshed after washing the grime from his travels off. He quickly dried himself off and shaved with a fresh razor and got to dress in his most comfortable pants. Ah, the little things he had missed.

He hesitated in opening the door because he knew it was much warmer shut up in the tiny bathroom. Still, his very own bed was just on the other side and that was reason enough. He practically bounded to the bed and eagerly drew the blankets up around him to stay warm. He turned over to look out of the window. The moon was full and it shone brightly behind passing clouds.

He wondered for a moment, as the bed warmed around him, when he'd see Sakura. It wasn't as if he had been expecting her to be propped up in his bed waiting for him as soon as he opened the door, but it was a nice idea. Of course, the possibility that she wasn't waiting for him at all was always at the back of his mind. He curled up under the blankets, familiarity surrounding him, and drifted off to sleep where he met her.

Small hands delicately danced up his naked torso, a single finger teased the fine silvery hair in the middle of his chest. He was so warm and it was a great comfort. Her lips were turned up in a small smile and her sensual jade orbs were blazing as she stared at him, raking over his body and finally meeting his eye. Her hair was pale in the moonlight and her skin looked like porcelain, but he knew she was nowhere near as fragile.

Supple lips descended upon him, peppering tender kisses along his abdomen , the dip of his hips and up, up along his collarbone and then closing around a nipple. He gasped as teeth gently grazed the pebbled peak before a hot, glorious tongue swirled around it. Her lips traveled up to his neck, where she sucked at his pulse point, nails scratching lovingly at his scalp as she pulled her fingers through his locks.

Then she was gone and he groaned at the loss of her. Fingers wrapped around his stiffening member and he was stroked, teasingly slow, until he was rock hard in her grasp. Wet heat spread down him from the tip; her talented, pliant tongue twirled and worked up and down his shaft and she hummed around him. Sadly, her mouth was gone before he could fully enjoy it.

But it was replaced by a weight settling over his hips. His aching member was pressed to fleshy folds and then past them into the tight, hot paradise that he had been dreaming of. He could hear her sharp breath as she was stretched and accepted all of him. Carefully, as if any sudden movement would jostle him out of his dream, she began to move. It had to be a dream, it was the only explanation for what he was feeling. Somewhere he wondered if perhaps he'd wake to find himself in the makeshift bunk, huddled under tatty blankets and trying to ignore the snores of his roommate.

Her heat fluttered and flared around him, like lava gradually burning him up. Her hands pressed against his chest as she raised herself, her hips circling and rocking. This was perfect, _too_ perfect and his sleepy eyes strained to open.

Gracefully moving atop him was Sakura in all of her glory, naked and confident and smiling down at him. She ground her hips against him and he brought his hands up to squeeze her thighs. He could _feel_ her and this was no dream and he was delighted beyond words.

Her muscles flexed around him and he softly gasped. "Sakura."

She leaned down to touch her lips to his and he brought a hand up to weave into her hair, to hold her there and explore her mouth with his tongue. She had brushed her teeth before coming here and behind the mint was a taste that was undeniably _her_ and he was starved for it. She sighed into him, melted against him. She had missed him so much.

Feeling a need for air, he let her loose and she sat up with a grin and a caress of her hand to his cheek. "I'm glad you're home."

"Me too. I didn't think that-" He hissed as she came down, her muscles squeezing him.

"That what, I wouldn't be here? Silly. I did what I wanted to, I waited for you."

He pushed himself up and wrapped an arm around her. Her arms circled his neck and she looked into his eyes - one charcoal and one crimson, both smoldering. He claimed her lips once again swallowing her moans as she moved against him.

In Kakashi's mind, Sakura was the stuff dreams were made of - he would know, he had plenty of them - and he fully planned on keeping her all to himself. The best kind of dream after all, was one that came true.


	13. I don't love you but I always will

A/N: I haven't updated this in a while. I was working on SoG when I was hit with this and it couldn't be ignored. Not beta'd so all mistakes are mine. Please leave a review if you'd like - they are always welcome. Enjoy!

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Kakashi wasn't as big of a mystery as everyone perceived. The aloof attitude, the vague answers, the mask – simply defenses, but simple defenses to those _close_ to him. He liked to believe that people only knew things about him that he chose to let them know. They knew that he adored his brightly-backed literature, that he had a single Sharingan eye, that many people close to him were long gone from the world and that he visited the cenotaph – visited them – every day he could.

Those close to him knew he lived alone in a simple, single-bedroom pad that was barely furnished. Who needed furniture when you were out on missions the majority of the year? He didn't date, for the same reason he didn't have furniture. He used to smoke. He occasionally liked to imbibe his favorite brew – either alone or with company.

But those that _knew_ him knew he preferred to drink with them. And Sakura was no exception to that minuscule group.

As his student she learned of his passion and his fierce determination to protect his cherished ones, even if it meant his life. She learned how deep his knowledge and repertoire of jutsu went and how magnificent he was in his craft.

As a med-nin she learned his blood type, that the Sharingan ate away at his chakra, that his body was littered with more scars than she had imagined.

As his friend she learned he disliked tempura and sweets and could be won over by some nicely grilled saury (or some new edition of Icha Icha). He had a sense of humor – as odd as it was – and a nice laugh.

She also learned things about him that he didn't want her to.

Like the nights he spent in the hospital on the verge of a coma from over exertion and depletion of his chakra. Those nights he laid there sweating, trembling, crying… He was so much more fragile than anyone, even himself, believed. There were times he muttered apologies or demanded answers. There was the time he awoke and called Sakura by the name of Rin.

Sakura once believed that Kakashi was at his scariest on the battlefield with his adrenaline pumping and a thousand screaming birds echoing as he charged his opponent. But he was the scariest when those around him were hurt and guilt his in his eyes, because that was something she rarely saw in the usually confident man.

Kakashi learned things about Sakura, too, as it usually happened in any kind of relationship.

As a teacher he learned she had potential but was, in his opinion, hopeless. Well, until she started training under Tsunade, that is. He thought perhaps she hadn't been hopeless after all, rather he had not been the appropriate teacher for her and that he had been the hopeless one.

As a comrade he learned of her strength – and not just the physical. Yes, decimating forests and creating craters in the earth with a single punch was impressive (and terrifying), but continuing on her path even with the disapproval of her parents took strength as well.

He hadn't known her parents had argued against her decision to become a ninja those years ago. She was a determined soul that found a real reason to do the things she did, and it was no longer for a boy. Though she sometimes got the short end of the stick, she didn't complain. She understood that everything she did served a greater purpose.

Not only could her hands bruise, but they could heal.

As a patient he learned how gentle she could be in sternness. In many experiences before, other's chakra was invasive and unpleasant, but hers was calm and flowed from a tender touch. She was quick, precise and efficient, skilled. And he considered himself lucky.

Sakura was a wonderful medic who was tolerant, even given her quick temper which often helped with some of the more unruly patients. She was strongly dedicated and she cared deeply for people, which sometimes came back to haunt her.

As a friend he learned how hard she fell when she wasn't able to save a life and the many ways she dealt with it. Kakashi didn't handle tears well and at first, he appreciated that she didn't come to him to break and cry. But then there came a day when she did and he found that he didn't mind as much as he thought.

He learned that even though she could heal even the most fatal of wounds and diminish the possibility of scars, she chose to let significant ones stay – like the one on her abdomen from when she fought against Sasori.

And when their relationship shifted again, he learned she had more scars than he knew about.

As lovers they learned about ticklish spots (like hers on the back of her thigh and his just below his armpit) and spots that elicited surprise pleasure (like a kiss to her knee or a sensual rub of his ear). They learned the dips of muscle, the rise of fine hairs, the sighs and moans – those delicate sounds when something felt far too good. They learned how each other's bodies shuddered and trembled in delight. They learned to read, to taste, and to _feel_ one another.

He learned he was selfish. He didn't want to share her with anyone and he found that he didn't have to give much, but she gave a lot. And they were both okay with that.

She learned she was a wishful thinker, a dreamer. All she ever wanted was for someone to hold her back. When she turned her back and his arms circled her, she knew that what they shared was perfect.

Even if within that perfection came quarrels, and flying objects, and sparring matches, and harsh words.

At the end of the day he still chose her, and she still chose him.

And they'd return to those places that made their bodies quake and their hearts race.

Neither of them would say it aloud, but they both knew it indubitably that they were loved. And they were both okay with that.


	14. Alibi

A/N: Another one-shot popped up while writing SoG and I knew that if I didn't get it down it would disappear. So here it is. It's unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own. Please R&R - it's not necessary, but encouraged and as always, enjoy! - Deni

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Title: Alibi  
Rating: T+/M  
Summary/Warning: Kakashi tries dealing with the inevitable end of his relationship. Angsty McAngst Muffins. If you don't like angst muffins, then you probably shouldn't read.

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The sky above Konoha hung true and clear; the sun blazed almost as if teasing the Copy nin with the warmth he was missing. The young woman beside him was talking, but he was barely listening. Instead his focus was on the tree branches, the splashes of green, and the energetic buzz around them – but not between them. It had been that way for a while now, but he figured it was just a strange occurrence; perhaps Sakura had a rough day at the hospital or perhaps he was just feeling miserable with the lack of missions and he was merely going stir crazy. Yet the feeling lingered and infested his brain, his gut, and his heart.

Perhaps the thing worse than the end of a relationship was _knowing_ it was about to end.

Like one of those moments you see happening in slow motion, but helpless to stop.

And helplessly, he continued through the motions.

"Hey, are you listening?"

Her voice was still so gentle, a pleasant sound in his ear that jarred him from his thoughts, and he crinkled his eye at her with a rub to the back of his head. "Ah, sorry."

"Your ears seemed just fine at your last checkup. What's going on with you lately?"

_Don't look at me like that_.

Her viridian eyes gazed straight into him; concern furrowed her brows and he wanted nothing more than to smooth those lines away with a touch of his lips, but he couldn't bring himself to. He sighed and shrugged.

"Let's go spar!" she suggested, and then added teasingly, "You haven't taken any missions lately and I don't want you getting rusty."

She was genuinely trying to think of something to help him shake the funk, and he really appreciated it, but sparring with her wouldn't change anything. Then again, maybe he was wrong… he hoped he was wrong.

"Sure, sounds like a good idea," he replied and they adjusted their path to one that led them to the all too familiar training grounds.

Kakashi had to admit, he was a bit eager to stretch his limbs and his jutsu. Peace was a great thing; it just took away a need for his job – and he certainly didn't want to get rusty as Sakura had so put it. He stowed his book away and felt his lips twitch as he watched Sakura pull her hair up. That nagging feeling tugged in his chest again and he turned away from her, taking a moment to check his bindings and the straps of his weapon pouch. She was still so young and beautiful, but it was almost painful to look at.

"You ready?" she called across the field.

He nodded and she slid into a defensive stance. Centering himself with a deep breath, Kakashi closed his eyes and then vanished from her sight. Her scent was strong in his nose as he reappeared behind her. Her arms were firm as she blocked his attack. Her aim was precise as she raised her foot toward his side. Her eyes were so sharp and lively as she charged at him. As they danced and matched each other hit for hit, her skin became flushed and she'd smirk when she'd graze his arm or chest.

It reminded him of her when they first started whatever this was between them. She had been so alive then. It reminded him of her fire, of her grace, her strength, and her beauty.

She was beautiful. _So beautiful_ - and it hurt him. It wasn't the same ache as it was before, the one that throbbed because he believed he couldn't have her. No, the pain was almost physical; he could feel it claw at him inside, at the ugliness he buried away.

For a while, she had helped him forget. It had been a surprise, how comforting and wise she was beneath that young skin. She was mature in ways he hadn't been when he was nineteen. She accepted him, and vice versa, and they fell into each other wholeheartedly.

Falling out was a completely different experience. He had come to care and love this young woman so much. He had desired her so strongly once, and part of him wondered if the cooling of the flames had less to do with her and more with him. She was everything he could have ever wanted in someone and yet… he wanted her less. His gut twisted as the thought rang through him like giant bells, shaking him to his core.

It was frightening, almost.

Sakura twisted away from his hands and jabbed at him; air rushed by his head as he barely avoided being struck.

"I almost had you!" she declared with a small laugh, her eyes still set in determination.

_I almost had you_.

Kakashi stilled and lowered his hands as she swung at him again; he easily side-stepped the attack, hooking his arm around hers to keep it still. He had enough time between her next punch to deftly lower his mask. Her fist hit his open palm; his fingers curled over hers and then he was pressing his bare lips to hers.

He kissed her hungrily, with a deep desperation that he hoped didn't show through his eager tongue. She had been shocked at first, but she returned the kiss in kind, relaxing against his body.

His hands traveled over sweat-dampened skin, remembering the smoothness and the way she'd wrap herself around him. He had wanted that, craved it. But even now, it was different. If he could just convince himself that he was wrong - that he still felt the same race of his heart at her touch, that he could get lost in her for hours: in her eyes, her smile, her voice. That he still needed and wanted her. That he still loved her. That she still felt the same for him.

The grass pricked and tickled his bare thighs as he sat down, her weight settled in his lap. Her fingers dragged across his skin, leaving marks on his back while he cradled her head and devoured her mouth and the moans slipping from it. She was hot - a molten paradise - around him as she aligned their bodies and sank onto him. She held his face as she moved, slow and sure. Her fingers were gentle, lightly rubbing across the stubble on his jaw. She was tight and wet and the fire inside her was enough to consume them both.

And Kakashi wished it would.

So he wouldn't have to feel this way.

As much pleasure as she bestowed upon him, he felt equally guilty.

But his blood rushed and his name filled his ears and her hips worked against his – still slow, but more heated now. And he _wanted_ to let go; he _wanted_ to soar with her and hold her close and tell her again and again how much he adored her. He _wanted_ to remain tangled with her and stay by her side in all the ways he could be. But his soul felt disjointed from his body and no matter how hard he wished or prayed for it – pleaded for it - it just wouldn't happen.

As his body tensed with the first ripple of bliss, a heavy sadness filled him. It was odd to feel both great pleasure and misery at the same time.

With both eyes open he studied her. Sakura's eyes were half-lidded, cheeks pink, and lips parted to draw in ragged breaths and heave out sighs and trembling moans. He threaded his fingers into her hair; it was dampened with sweat, but still silky soft. Her skin glistened under the sun and he pulled her against him, wanting to feel her flush with him again. He buried his nose into her neck, breathing in her scent of soap and spring.

His chest jumped at the memories the smell provoked and the Sharingan eye welled up. He clenched it shut, pushing the silly tears out and gasping as she fluttered around him – gasping at the heart-wrenching feeling that took hold of him.

"Kakashi, I'm… ngh… I'm gonna… Come with me."

Her pleading voice pierced through his ears and he groaned against her as her quivering body only added to the blissful buzzing feeling of his skin touched by hers.

He grunted as he felt himself teeter on the brink of euphoria. Her body, her passage, hugged him tightly. Her whimpers echoed in his perfect ears and he couldn't hold on any longer. His body tightened and then released, his seed spurting forth as she shook atop of him. He wrapped his arms around her, holding onto her and holding back the grief that threatened to swallow him.

Her hips felt delicate under his hands and her curves were soft pressed against him. While Kakashi was gathering his breath, he knew that this was it. There wouldn't – couldn't – be another time. The thing he had feared the most was happening. It was over between them; every part of him could sense it – but not that she had noticed it as well.

A small warm splash on his shoulder brought him back to the here and now. He realized how stiff Sakura's back was and that her breathing was not normal – not even for what they had just done.

"Sakura?"

Her shoulders shook and after gasping for a breath, she stilled. "I'm sorry," she muttered.

His fingers drew her hair back over her shoulder. "For what?"

"I can't… we can't keep doing this." She laughed humorlessly then. "I thought that it would just fix itself."

Another drop of wet warmth fell onto his skin and rolled down. Had he been so obvious?

"I don't know what it is, but it's changed. My feelings for you, about us, they've just changed… I thought that if I just acted like how I always did, it would go away. We'd get out of this rut, but…" Her voice faltered and she didn't speak again.

Kakashi closed his eyes. So he hadn't been the only one to feel that way. Even though her admission should have made him feel better, it didn't. Had he really been so caught up in his own storm of emotions that he hadn't noticed she was unhappy?

"I'm sorry, too," he said softly.


	15. Knowing

Sitting atop his bed Kakashi could feel the wind that blew in through his open windows. Spring was moving in, but winter refused to let go, holding tight to Konoha's evenings. Done with his meditation, he cracked his eye open as a particularly bitter wind ravaged his window.

He slid off his bed and ignored the chilly bite to his feet to cross his room and shut the window. As he turned to go to the other window a head of rosette tresses popped in.

His guest pulled herself into his room and turned a beaming smile his way. "Good! You're here."

"Hello, Sakura. I wasn't expecting you."

"I know." She turned and shut the second window. "I've been looking for you though, and once I had checked the cenotaph, the library, the training grounds, and the top of both the school and the monument... I figured the other place to look was your apartment. I guess I should've come here first."

"Probably," he said as he moved into his kitchen. "Tea?"

"Please," she answered with a timely shudder. "It's still pretty cool out. You know that if I had come by here first I probably wouldn't have found you. You're never home."

He nodded absently, but he wondered why she had gone through the trouble to find him. "I have to keep those that pursue me on their toes."

"Well you've succeeded."

"So why are you here? Not just for the tea I'm sure."

"No, you make your tea too strong. Do you have any honey?"

"I'll check."

Sakura smiled, a little forced in his opinion. She was definitely up to something. "I just really wanted to see you."

That reply caught him a bit off guard. He didn't let it show and retrieved the honey he found.

When he turned around Sakura was in the kitchen with him, pulling down a couple of cups. As if on cue the kettle sounded, and Sakura moved with him as if they had shared tea at his apartment numerous times - but Kakashi was sure that she had been there for only a handful of visits.

She took the jar of honey and the offered spoon and then the cup with a fresh tea bag inside.

"So what can I do for you?"

Alluding his question, she stirred and then test-tasted. "Um... do you have any sugar?"

He nodded and turned back around to move items around in the cabinet before he found the sugar. When he turned back around Sakura had moved closer to him. She took the sugar, fingers obviously brushing his on purpose. Kakashi couldn't explain the pleasant tingle that jolted down his back.

He awkwardly cleared his throat and took a sip of his tea as she prepared her cup. Her eyes remained trained on her tea and while she was occupied, Kakashi allowed his gaze to wander over her. He didn't remember her clothes fitting her so well, but then again he had been avoiding even looking in the first place. Alone like this though, it was difficult to keep his eyes off of her.

She peered up at him, her cheeks dusted in a rosy blush that only seemed to make her green eyes pop out at him more. Her lips curled upward and she took a sip to test the sweetness. Her lips were so enticing pressed simply against the rim of the cup.

Kakashi realized that he had finished off his tea and set about pouring another cup. He was surprised when a petite arm slipped through his and took hold of his cup.

"Sakura?"

She was quiet and he couldn't bring himself to look at her, instead he watched her set down his cup.

"I can't keep doing this," her voice cut into him, and the warmth of her breath soaked into his shirt at his back.

"You never did like my tea," he commented off-hand; his voice felt so distant.

"You know I'm not talking about the tea." Her hands pressed against the firm planes of his chest.

Feeling entranced by her warmth, he moved at her hands' persuading until he was facing her. His heart waa hammering, but he kept his face neutral and his eyes calculating. He had kept her at a distance, but even that turned out to be the wrong course of action.

Her small - yet unbelievably intimidating - hands inched up his shirt, his neck, fingers brushing against his ear, before curling into his mask. Anticipation rung through every inch of his body. Was she really going to kiss him? Was he really going to let her?

His hands settled on her shoulders and she sensed his apprehension. Her voice came suddenly, quietly. "Don't."

His reply caught in his throat as he felt his mask begin to slide down his face. His fingers curled tighter around her as she moved in, ready to push her away… or pull her closer.

Sooty lashes fluttered close and her lips were perfectly pink from where he was looking. They appeared so soft and pouty, so inviting - so dangerous. It called to him, both warning and tempting him at the same time. His tongue subconsciously swiped across his lips and his body reacted to her close proximity; he leant towards her, ready for her kiss as if suddenly craving it – or perhaps he had been, but he was finally allowing himself to admit it.

And when she finally did connect their mouths, it sent pleasant warmth radiating throughout his being. Her lips had been as soft as he imagined; she was gentle, slowly coaxing him to reciprocate. And reciprocate he did. His fingers went lax at her shoulders and he moved to wrap his arms around her, threading his fingers into her hair at the nape of her neck. Her hand clenched in the front of his shirt, hinting with her tongue to deepen their connection.

Their tongues slid together lazily, moving slow like honey, encompassed by the surging feeling building between them. Their leisurely exchange gathered steam, gentle prodding became an unrestrained dance for some bit of control. Breaths came short and heavy from their noses as hands became more daring. Her fingers were cool as they ran under his shirt, caressing ridges of muscle, skin, and scars. Her skin was so silky; it was beyond anything he had imagined. If he had been in his right mind, Kakashi might have been more thoughtful of his calloused fingers. But she didn't seem to mind his rough touch as she rocked against him, tilting her body this way and that to stay glued to his strokes.

As alluring as her body was - and gods did he want to touch more of her - he finally broke away from her, keeping her at bay with his strong grip at her hips. Their foreheads touched in the silence. His chest heaved as he gathered his breath, his thoughts. His lips tingled, reminiscent of her kiss, and he peered from his position and nearly groaned at the way her bottom lip was captured in her teeth, like she was tasting him. She hummed softly as his fingers pressed into her. He hadn't even been aware that he was doing it.

"Sakura, why… What are you…"

"Don't," she repeated. Her hands settled on the small of his back, fingers teasing the hem of his pants with light brushes. "It's not even like you should care. With my running history with men, I would be okay if you didn't."

_That's not true!_ He wanted to tell her. "Sakura-"

She stepped back, breaking the spell of the moment, and looked him straight in the eye. So much was going on there in her gaze, even he had a difficult time assigning meaning to it all. Her smile was neither happy nor sad, and her palm came up to rest against his bare cheek. "I just wanted you to know."

She pulled herself further away from him. "Thanks for the tea."

"You hate the tea."

She offered a half-shrug and before he could stop her, he watched her pull her hands into the final sign and she disappeared in a whirl of cherry blossom petals and leaves. Watching as they fell delicately to the floor, he realized how much trouble it was for his guests whenever he decided to up and leave in that fashion. Tugging a hand through his hair, he let out a brief chuckle. He'd clean up, get some rest, and find Sakura in the morning. He really needed some time to allow himself to think over the sudden turn of events between them. He picked up her cup and his eyes softened at the petals that floated atop her drink. Yes, he'd definitely have to find her tomorrow.

As the sun warmed Konoha the next morning, civilians and ninja alike came out to enjoy the new day. Kakashi hid behind his book, a hand in his pocket tapping his overdue report which he was on the way to deliver – and if he happened to find out Sakura's schedule then it was time well spent.

The verbal lashing he received from both Iruka and Tsunade for his late report was a decent price to pay, he supposed. Taking the back way, he snuck into the hospital. If people knew he went there on his own will, he'd never be able to get out of a check-up ever again.

"Hatake? What are you doing here?"

He froze and spun around with a friendly eye-crease. "Oh, hi, Shizune. I was just going to surprise my favorite medic. I haven't seen her in a while. Think she'll freak out when she sees me here?" he asked jokingly.

"Probably – if she were here."

He dropped his façade. "She's not here?"

Shizune shook her head and then motioned for him to keep walking. She fell into step beside him. "No, I'm taking over some of her duties while she's gone."

"No one said anything about her leaving for a mission."

"Of course not, it's her ANBU entrance mission; it's supposed to be a secret."

"Thanks, Shizune."

She hmm-ed in question and turned to look at him only to find that he was no longer there. "That man…"

Kakashi sat on a crate on the hospital's rooftop. That explained so much of it: why she had been so tenacious in searching for him, the look in her eyes, why she kissed him and said what she did. If he had known… he told himself that he would've said something, anything, done so much more than what he did. With resolve, he stood. He'd wait for her to come back, because she would come back, and then he'd do and say those things and get that moment back – and he wouldn't stop it this time and they'd never look back.


	16. Warp & Weft

_A/N: Written for the Through Time Challenge at LJ. This piece is considered AU. I think I'm getting back in the swing of things and hey! this is probably the longest one-shot I've written for an entry. I'm proud of myself just for that lol. Thanks for some of the support I've received lately. Again, reviews are encouraged but not necessary. Enjoy!_

* * *

_Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!_

The sun beat heavily down on Sakura's back as she worked, the willow branch familiar in her hands.

_Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!_

"Has the wool wronged you, Sakura?"

Wiping her brow under her friend's shadow, the young woman looked up and squint her eyes against the sun. She shook her head and offered a sigh. "No, I just… can't believe demand is still so high with a war looming around the corner. I can't even prepare myself or travel home to the farm to see my parents. It's ridiculous."

The blonde knelt beside her, her blue eyes wide and worried. "You shouldn't say such things. The Count's soldiers are everywhere these days; you don't want them to overhear you."

As if on cue, the sound of hooves approached and a small group of soldiers ambled by, eyeing the two women and showing off their swords. Sakura's friend politely smiled and waved.

"Ino, don't draw more attention," Sakura grumbled.

As the soldiers' voices grew distant again, Ino turned back to face her. "Things could be worse; at least you're still making money and drinking wine."

"I suppose you're right," she answered with a drawn out sigh. "I really do appreciate your help."

"Of course you do."

"So, can you take this inside? It's ready for combing."

Ino quirked a brow but never stopped smiling at her. As Sakura helped her move the wool, she wondered how her friend could remain so bright in the face of war - especially since her father had joined the ranks of the Count's army. Not many people spoke of the conflict openly, it was always behind closed doors - doors that had been built by hand by families that once broke their backs for wealth, families that now fled from it.

The King of France sought to take control over the land of Flanders, which included her hometown, a place now well known for its cloth. It was these riches that had become too big to turn a blind eye to, so the King wanted to claim it.

Sakura herself was a fourth-generation Haruno, a family well known in Lille for their excellence in woolen cloth. Many of the other families that she had come to know were now gone, including Ino's. Her friend was just staying behind to help until her mother sent for her, and then she'd be leaving with the few remaining members of her family for what was, hopefully, a more peaceful life.

Conflicts between armies started as gossip, but then as they rose in frequency and moved closer, those that were "wise" moved out, including most of the help. That wasn't to say that the town wasn't bustling; cargo still passed through, orders were still filled, and wares still fetched a solid price at market. But a different kind of feeling settled over the town, a silence, an uneasiness that covered everything much like the sun.

As the girls combed the wool to prepare it for spinning, Ino delivered the inevitable news to Sakura: she was leaving. As her friend went on about their farmland and how her aunt was expecting her third child, Sakura, as happy as she was for her, couldn't help but feel lonely. She wanted to go home, too, and be with her parents, but even with as much as she complained she knew that she was doing the best thing possible for them - which was working. So she'd stay and spin and weave as long as it put money in their pockets and allowed them the luxury of full bellies.

They combed well into the night, working by candle and lamp light and reminiscing. Neither would say it, but the oncoming farewell felt final.

Ino yawned in dramatic fashion and clasped her hands in her lap. "I wish I could stay and help you with the rest."

"No you don't, you hate weaving."

"Yeah, you're right. Still, I'm going to miss you… and your big forehead."

"It's not that big," Sakura nearly screeched, lifting her fingers to touch it. It had been years, but she was still sensitive about its size.

Ino smiled, she was going to miss doing this. "I'll be seeing you soon, alright?"

"One moment! Don't leave yet." The rosette dashed off to the adjoining room and returned shortly after. "Here, take this."

Ino outstretched her hand and her eyes widened as the silver pieces fell into it. "Sakura!"

"Hush! It's for your work and your travel."

Ino shook her head in awe. "And enough for food."

"You're my best friend, just accept it and buy something wonderful for your aunt. Don't make a big show."

Arms wrapped around her shoulders in a tight embrace. "Thank you, Sakura."

Softly smiling, she hugged her back. "Send me letters, and I promise I'll inform you when I leave for the farm."

"You had better."

Releasing each other, they sat back and exchanged another smile. Sakura nodded towards the door. "Go on home, I'm sure you'll be setting out early and you'll need your rest."

Ino nodded, and then with a final hug and a whisper of thanks the two life-long friends parted ways, unsure of when they'd see each other again.

Deciding to leave the wool for tomorrow's work, Sakura blew out the candles, saving one to help light her way to the front of the house. After securing the door, she let her feet carry her to her room at the end of the hall.

After dressing for sleep, she opened her bedroom window and gazed out of it. It was quiet in town, but a heavy feeling settled in her gut. Somehow the picturesque townscape before her felt different, almost foreign. A wind moved in, and a sense of approaching change came with it. Uncertain of what to make of the feeling, Sakura backed up from the window and climbed into bed before blowing out the candle and covering herself in darkness.

.oOo.

The next morning, Sakura set herself to work, standing before the heavy machine as she spun the wool into yarn. The mundane task kept her busy and her mind off of such sad thoughts like missing her friend. Working alone was quiet, but not unpleasant. Sakura rather enjoyed it, really. She didn't have to shout orders (or threats) and she could do it all at her own pace, ensuring it was done properly.

At midday there was a delivery of fresh wool that came from her parents. She could hardly believe it. She had just finished processing the last bit of raw material and now she had more. The accompanying letter explained that they had taken on more flock and while they knew she was looking forward to coming home, they needed her to stay a little longer. As her father had put it: Haruno's didn't run away when things got difficult. The Haruno reputation was on her shoulders now and he knew she'd make them proud.

With a growl she crumpled the letter in her hands and fought back the tears as she threw it to the ground. She just wanted to go home, get away before the fighting was taking place in the streets, before it was no longer safe for her there. She walked to the back of the house and outside, sighing under the brilliance of the sun. Wiping her eyes, she found another reason to be glad that she was alone: no one could see her cry.

After picking and munching on a few berries, and deciding she was done feeling sorry for herself, she went back inside and picked up the letter from the floor. She did her best to smooth it back out and then she carried it to her room to put with the others. Just a little bit longer, she told herself. She had already wasted enough of her day, so with renewed determination she went back to work. She'd spin as much as she could and wash the new wool in the morning.

The sun traveled the sky, and Sakura didn't break again until it dipped behind the horizon. Lighting candles, she worked by their flickering flames until her fingers were sore and tired. She wasn't sure what time it was, but the candles she had lit were burning low. She lit a fresh one and blew the others out, deciding on a late dinner and then sleep. A large yawn split her lips - yes, definitely sleep. Warming the stew over a low fire, her stomach grumbled as the wonderful scent filled the air.

She ate the way she worked, alone in the silence until it was done. She sighed, suddenly feeling the absence of her friends and coworkers. After rinsing her dish out, she picked up her candle and trudged to her room. Removing everything but her chemise, Sakura collapsed into bed and pinched out the flame with her fingertips. Tomorrow would be another long day.

As she closed her eyes and felt sleep tug at her consciousness, a loud commotion jolted her back awake. Remaining still and straining her ears, she heard something fall in the back of the house. She flashed upright in bed. _The wool!_

She wasn't about to let some thief make off with it. With swift, but quiet actions, she got up and pulled on a pair of pants. Quickly striking the flint, she lit a candle and picked up the large stick she kept at her bedside and readied herself. Sneaking down the hall, she peered out into the main room. It appeared empty so she continued to the back of the house where the equipment and material was kept. As she got closer, she heard rustling just beyond.

She winced as the stick struck against the door. Mentally cursing, she opened it and peeked inside, her eyes scanning the room. She paused as she spotted something on the ground - a tiny splotch of crimson. Her heart sped from a trot to a full-on gallop and with steady hands that betrayed the nervousness pounding within, she lifted the light.

Leant against a stack of crates was a man, one arm wrapped around lean torso. His hair took on a pale yellow color from the candle light and stuck out in messy spikes that somehow still seemed to flatter him.

"What are you doing in here?" she asked, just loud enough to be heard.

"I'm not looking for trouble," he replied, voice low and smooth as he pushed off away from the crates.

Her grip tensed. "I'm armed. Don't come near me."

"I wouldn't want to do that." He gestured to her weapon. "And trust me, you don't either."

When he moved, she noticed a dark patch under his hand up on his side. Still keeping her guard up and her eyes trained solely on him, she called him out. "You're injured."

"It's nothing serious."

"Somehow I don't believe that. What happened to you?"

"It's none of your concern," he nearly snapped at her.

"You entered my home; I believe that makes it my concern."

"You don't want to get involved with this."

Sakura's brow rose. "Then get out of my home and get me uninvolved."

He suddenly perked up and brought a finger to his lips. A moment later she could hear noises rise outside.

"I thought he came this way," said a voice outside the door.

"He must have gone down another road," another man sounded in.

"Let's circle back around."

Sakura's eyes locked with his and somehow she could sense - feel - his apprehension and urgency. There was no doubt in her mind that it had been those men that had chased the stranger standing before her.

After a few moments in heavy silence, Sakura set down the stick. "I can't… without a clear conscience… let you leave in your state. Would you," she paused as his eyes suddenly flickered to hers. "Allow me to treat you?"

"You'd do that?"

The sound of footsteps silenced them again; the both of them snapped their attention to the back door.

"Now do you smell it?" one man asked.

"Yes, a candle."

Sakura turned her attention back to the stranger. She pointed to a far corner of the room. He nodded and she faced the door just as there was a knock on it. Looking back to the crates, she saw that he was already gone. She snatched up her stick as she passed by it and approached the door with cautious steps.

She set her hand on the latch. "State your business, please."

"We are loyal members of the Count's army. May we speak with you?"

Unlatching the bar, she opened the door and peered out, looking at their uniforms. Sure enough they were wearing the correct colors. Looking up at their faces, the soldiers seemed to relax a bit as they saw her. She offered a fake, but friendly-enough smile. "Forgive me, you can never be too sure about the type of person that comes knocking after it's dark out."

"Very wise," the older soldier commented. "I suppose the same could be said about those who remain up at this hour."

She shook her head. "When it comes to wool you could always use more hours of light."

"You're a weaver?"

"Yes, just checking my machines over again before going to bed."

"Well, perhaps you could help us, too, before you go?" the second, younger soldier asked.

"And what may I help you with?"

"We're looking for a man, and we believe he may have come this way. Since you're still awake, perhaps you can tell us if you've seen or heard anything?"

"No, I haven't."

"You didn't see a man with gray hair and eyes of different color?"

"He'd have a possible wound to his side, so he may have been limping," the older man offered up more detail.

Sakura thought for a moment and then shook her head. "No, I'm sorry."

"Back-tracked here for nothing. I told you he went down the other way."

"Sorry to trouble you. Goodnight and best of luck with your business."

"And you as well," she replied with a polite wave.

Securing the door once again, she let out a steadying breath. She spun around, and using the candle, she lit the wick of an oil lamp nearby. She came away from the door and towards the area she had pointed the stranger to.

"They're gone."

He stepped out of the shadows and she could see now the light sheen of sweat that covered his face. She glanced toward the hall. "Come on."

They stood in silence, almost as if sizing each other up before he nodded and followed her to the next room. After pointing him to a chair, she retrieved some bandages, a bowl of water, and a tiny jar of salve she had made herself.

Feeling a bit nervous as she set her materials down, she glanced at him and then away. "Um… you'll need to remove your shirt."

She heard the tight hiss he pulled through his teeth as he slid it from his body. Keeping her eyes on the discarded shirt, she cleared her throat. "I should have a shirt that you could wear, that one is pretty destroyed.

He was going to argue - possibly that he could cut and patch it - but she ripped a section of it off. She rinsed the wound the best she could with the water and then pressed the cloth against him.

"I won't hurt you." His quiet words pierced her ears and she looked up at him. One of his hands came to rest atop hers. "So you can press harder, I know you need to."

Pushing her lips together, she put more pressure on the wound. "For a moment I thought you were going to tell me that you weren't dangerous."

She didn't look at him, but she could feel his eyes, heavy on her.

"That would be a lie. However, if you were going to turn me over, you would have done it the moment you were able."

"I could say you're right about that."

"Why didn't you?" he wondered aloud.

"Your eyes."

Her quiet, simple answer shocked him and a questioning noise rose in the back of his throat.

As she gently lifted the cloth, she responded, "I could just see it in your eyes, that there was something more going on."

She twirled off the lid of the jar and dipped her finger in the dark green ointment. She spread it with a careful touch and then picked up the bandages. Her cheeks flushed as she wrapped her arms around his chest. "Could you hold this in place for me?"

He held an edge down as she circled it around him again. After the first few wraps, the rest went on with ease. She secured it in place and tucked some stray hair back as she stepped away. "There. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"No, thank you..." his voice trailed off and his brow dipped, almost as if he felt uncomfortable that he didn't know how to address her.

"My name is Sakura."

He tried it out - "Sakura" - and found that he liked the way it felt coming from his lips. "And I'm Kakashi."

She offered a warm smile. "Would you like something to eat, Kakashi?"

"You can spare some?"

"Yes."

"Then I'd like that."

"Please wait here."

Sakura took in a large breath as she entered the kitchen. She definitely hadn't been ready for that. Pressing the side of her hand against her forehead, she tried to wrap her head around what just happened. She certainly hadn't lied to the Count's soldiers. They would have her life if they knew. No, she definitely didn't do that.

Luckily the remaining stew was still warm, so she put some in a dish and brought it to him. He gave a small smile with a crinkle of his eye that said how much he appreciated her kindness. He looked a little better now, his face was not as ashen and the sweat had been wiped clean. She was a bit relieved to see him in higher spirits for the situation they were in.

Before he could bring the first spoonful to his mouth, she spoke up making him pause. "We don't know how long they will try looking for you. You're in pain and you need rest. There's a cot in the spare room down the hall. You can sleep there if you'd like and I can get you a new shirt in the morning."

Lowering the spoon, he looked to her, disguising his skepticism. "That is a very generous thing to do for someone you don't know."

Sliding into the seat across the table from him, she rested her chin in her open palm and cocked her head to the side. "For some reason, I feel like I can trust you. Besides, you're a soldier, too. Aren't you?"

It didn't quite sound like a question coming from her and he was intrigued. "How could you tell?"

"You're dressed like a swordsman. Field workers, travelers, farm hands - they don't wear boots like those, nor do they have bodies like yours." Her cheeks warmed, but she still kept her expression straight.

"You have a sharp eye," he commented, a little impressed by her deduction.

"And a sharp mind as well. Go ahead and eat, then I'll show you where you can sleep."

After sampling the first bite, the rest of the stew was gone in a flash. He speedy eating habits surprised Sakura, and as she collected his dish she couldn't refrain from commenting on it. "Either my cooking was that delightful or you must have been starving."

With an absent scratch to his cheek, he glanced away and lightly coughed to mask his embarrassment. "A healthy combination of the two."

"Come this way." She beckoned with her hand as the other picked up the lamp. She led him to a room at the right, not far from the entrance of the hall. She held out the lamp to him. "I'll leave this with you."

"Thank you."

Either he was a wonderful actor, or he was truly sincere. She nodded and then leaving him to himself, she continued on down the hall.

"Do you not need the lamp for yourself?"

"I know this house inside and out." The manner in which she said it left no room for him to think it was a lie.

Sakura opened her door enough to squeeze in, and then she spun around, leaning back against it as it closed. She shut her eyes, what was she thinking taking him in? Maybe it was in her blood, the drive to help people, she thought as she readied for bed the second time. Her mother had always been kind to others. So Sakura, too, tried to be kind and foolishly so, once. But she refused to think back on that time. She had been young and naïve - and this was different.

She lay awake, staring up into nothing. What would Ino say if she knew? Was Kakashi sleeping soundly enough? Was he even asleep at all? She strained to hear, but was met with only silence. Would her mother care that a strange man was in the house? Would her father be upset at her for lying to the soldiers?

Rolling over, she attempted to rid herself of thought and go to sleep. It took longer this time, but slowly slumber touched her and she fell into a dreamless state until morning.

.oOo.

When Sakura woke again the inky blackness of night was a now a royal blue. After pulling on the same pair of pants from last night's events, she headed to the kitchen to get the morning started. Her eyes lingered on the closed door where Kakashi slept. She wondered if he was still asleep or if he had left some time in the night. She wasn't about to walk in on him and find out. Growing up with a brother and his friends, she learned that the hard way.

Remembering her promise to get him a new shirt, she disappeared off into another room to look through some items left behind when her brother went off to travel. She found one that would be suitable for her guest, though perhaps the size was off. She'd find out after he joined her.

When Kakashi did wake that morning, Sakura was already eating breakfast and entertaining herself by watching the colors of the sunrise bleed into the sky. She smiled politely as he joined her. "Did you sleep well?

"I did, thank you."

"Breakfast? All I have to offer is rye bread, some berries, and ale."

"That's not necessary-"

"Would you like to eat or not" she asked, interrupting him.

A low grumble from his stomach gave her the answer. His ears reddened. "Yes, please."

She pushed a small wooden bowl to him that held a large piece of bread and a handful or two of berries. Pouring him a glass of ale, she continued on about her plans for the day. "After you've done eaten, I'll check your wound and change the bandages. Then you can dress."

"I am in your debt, Sakura."

She shook her head as she handed him the drink. "I'm happy to help someone who needs it."

She figured he was pleased with that answer, or decided not to push it any further, as he turned his attention to his meal. Afterward, she did as she said she would. His wound appeared better and the bleeding had stopped. He was relieved when she told him that. She applied more of the salve, and blushed again as she put new bandages on.

Standing next to him as she held up the shirt, she frowned. "I thought perhaps you could wear this, but it looks a little small. You can still try if you'd like."

Mindful of his injury, she helped slide it onto his shoulders and then wrapped the front over and secured it with his belt. He gave her a curious look, his brow creased in uncertainty.

She bit back a laugh as the shirt was obviously too small for him; the sleeves barely covered his biceps and the bottom hem came just below his waist.

"I thought it would be…."

"Bigger? I'm sorry," she giggled. "This could be good though."

"Go on."

"I can fix the shirt and make it to your measurements, but it will take a little time… which is good because your injury needs to heal."

"And how much time will you need?"

"A few days. I have a lot of work to do and on my own at that. But I can promise you that the shirt will be worth the wait."

"Since you have work to be done, and I am in your debt, then will you allow me to help?"

She eyed him carefully. "What do you know about wool?"

A lop-sided grin spread across his face, making him more handsome. "You actually work in clothing? That wasn't a lie last night?"

"No, my entire family is involved. This house is ours; it's been in the family for generations. It's come a long way from its origins as a shack with thatch roofing."

"Impressive."

"So you didn't answer my question. What do you know about wool?"

He shrugged. "Not much, but I can learn."

"It can be quite complex."

"I'm a quick learner," he countered.

She thought for a moment, chewing over the idea of having help – however temporary it may be. "With that wound I can't have you doing much, but you can learn what I'm working on." She sighed remembering all the fresh wool she still had to sort. "And there's so much to do."

The legs of the chair scraped the floor as Kakashi stood. "Then we should get started."

She nodded and then stood, gesturing for him to follow her. In the room at the back of the house, Sakura opened the window which allowed more light to come through. The cool spring air filled the room which Kakashi could now see was lined with equipment and numerous crates. His bi-colored eyes took in everything – every curve and notch, nook and cranny.

Sakura was at a table where she was dumping out sacksful of fluff. He looked down at the curly hair.

"This is fleece sent from my parents; they're tending to the flock back at our farm."

"And they've left you here, alone?"

"They didn't leave me," she snapped. "They're just not as young as they used to be. They trained me to be a fine craftsman, and I used to have plenty of help…"

"But they've left, too. Because of the conflicts, yes?" he guessed.

She nodded. "That's right. Here," she paused and took a deep breath. "We have to sort the wool."

"It all looks the same."

She huffed and shook her head. "Yes, but feel it. The wool here on the outside is longer and coarser. The wool on the inside is shorter and softer. We have to separate the coarse wool from the soft wool."

"I can help with that."

"You think so?" she asked as a playful challenge.

He sat beside her and began tugging at the fleece. They worked in a companionable silence, Sakura taking time to correct him when necessary. But like he had told her, he was a quick learner.

"Since you have sorting down, I'm going to do some spinning. Take a rest if you need to and let me know when you're finished."

He nodded and continued pulling the material apart, setting certain pieces into different baskets.

"And Kakashi… thank you."

.oOo.

As Sakura worked, she could feel him looking at her from time to time. When she'd glance over at him, he'd be busy with the task at hand, but as soon as she'd look away again she would feel his eyes once more. She felt like a silly girl, but honestly, it felt good. After Sasuke she had a few short-lived relationships and romantic encounters before putting all her focus on work. She was fresh into her twenties and she felt like an old maid. This stranger, this man Kakashi, came into her life and in the few short morning hours they had spent together, he had made her feel more like her age than ever before.

Sakura took a break, setting the spindle on a table beside her machine and checked on Kakashi's progress. All of the coarse wool had been separated.

"Wow! You are quick. Thank you."

"So now what do we do?"

"Well, now we have to separate the soft wool. Some of it is heavier and thicker than the others, but I'll do that. This wool here needs to be washed."

"I can do that, too." He said as he stood hands ready on the basket.

Sakura set her hand on his forearm. "Just be careful, you don't want to disturb the cut, it's still healing."

"I'll be fine."

Looking into his eyes she could tell that he wasn't going to back down and that he was intent on helping her – on settling the debt he believed he owed her.

So she conceded. "I'll show you where we wash."

After instructing him on how to properly wash the wool and showing him where the slats for drying were located, she went back inside to sort what was left. It wasn't that she didn't think he could do it, but this was the material that was going to make linens – and her name was going to be attached to it.

It didn't take her long, her mother always said she had quick fingers for sorting, and soon she was carrying a basket of fine wool outside. As she rounded the berry patch to where Kakashi was washing, she paused and burst out into laughter. The man was soaked in water; it covered his entire front and his arms. His bangs were even droopy under the weight of it.

"It's my pleasure to amuse you," he commented in a flat tone.

Stifling her laugh with a fist pressed to her mouth, Sakura set her basket down. "I just hadn't been expecting to see that… and you look like a drowned cat."

"I hate cats," he sighed.

"Do you prefer animals of a canine variety?" she teased.

"Actually, yes, I do."

She shook her head as she approached him and then she helped him move the remaining wool over to the slats. Shielding her eyes, she looked up in the sky. The sun was nearly at its peak. "We'll finish washing what's left, put them out to dry, and then we'll break for dinner."

"Alright."

As they washed, they made small conversation. Sakura learned that Kakashi actually owned several dogs where he was from and that he was indeed a soldier. In comparison to her large family, with dozens of cousins, Kakashi's family was small. He didn't speak much of his parents just that his father had been a soldier and that it was expected of him at a young age to be one as well.

Sakura was fortunate enough to be literate, as many children she had encountered didn't know how to read or write. Kakashi, too, enjoyed reading as she did - although she found his material to be questionable. He had laughed when her eyes had grown wide when he told her his favorite book series to read. "Scandalous" she had called it.

Dinner was simple - bread, cheese, and more berries and ale – and eaten under the shade of the trees. Looking at him in the daylight, he looked much younger than a man with grey hair should. His eyes were of two different colors – one was a light grey, like a storm cloud, and the other was charcoal, as dark as night itself. The left eye and cheek was bisected by a thin scar that started under his eyebrow and ended in the middle of his cheek. She wanted to ask him where he got it, but scars like that usually came with horrid tales that weren't pleasant for the listener or the teller. So she decided not to pry.

She insisted on checking his cut, so he allowed her to do so. Her hair fell into her face as she knelt beside him. She chanced a glance up through the curtain of pink and she could see his eyes watching her right back. Her cheeks burned and she brought her attention back to his chest. Focused on the wound, she didn't see his hand lift or the weighty gaze in his eye as he debated on whether or not to push it back so he could see her.

"It still looks the same, so I'll close the bandage back. I can change it again at the end of the day, there's no need to risk infection."

She sat back and looked up, watching as he rubbed at his left eye. He offered her the same eye-crinkling smile. "Thank you."

"You look tired. Stay here and rest; I'll go check on the wool."

Out of sight, Sakura placed her hands against her cheeks. She didn't know what had gotten into her. Sure, he was attractive and he had a nice body… and she hadn't been with a man in quite some time. Still, he had been hurt and they barely knew each other. He'd leave soon and there was still much to do. Surely, she wasn't _that_ lonely. Giving her cheeks a few taps, she stooped over to check on the wool. It was still a little wet, so she'd give it more time.

Taking the path back towards the house, she stopped as she noticed he was sleeping under the tree. He looked peaceful, innocent, but she knew that he wasn't – he admitted that much himself. Deciding to let him stay there, she went back in to continue spinning.

.oOo.

He was still asleep when she went back out later. She shook her head at him; hopefully not all soldiers were that lazy. With a quiet chuckle, she continued by him and on to the wool. Even if her help was sleeping, she still needed to get it done. Pulling out the willow branch, she swept her hair behind her ears and then set out beating the wool.

She hadn't wanted to disturb his slumber, but beating wasn't a quiet activity, and soon he was strolling up behind her, hiding a yawn behind his arm. He watched her for a few moments before speaking up. "What are you doing?"

She spun around at the sound of his voice, hand over her heart. "You startled me."

He looked apologetic, but didn't say anything. Instead he gestured to the wool. "Can I help?"

Wiping the sweat from her face, she replied, "This is called _wullebreken_ and we beat the wool to separate tangled fibers and remove pieces that don't belong. I'd let you help, but…"

"Don't worry about my injury so much. It's healing just fine thanks to you."

"Is there no way I could talk you out of it?"

Sakura couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw his expression change for just the briefest of moments. Whatever it was that she thought she saw made her stomach clench. He stepped closer to her and reached out. His hand covered hers on the branch; his touch was cool and his fingers were calloused from work but she liked the way it felt.

He stared down into her eyes and the power she felt from him was disarming. He effortlessly took the branch from her hand. "No, I still have a debt to settle." Then he side-stepped around her, leaving her to shake herself out of a daze.

She blinked rapidly and turned around. "Hey!"

He looked back at her as if he had done nothing wrong at all – and then she realized that he hadn't, not really. "You won't make any progress without the proper technique," she mumbled.

"Show me?"

Feeling her cheeks warm again at just the idea of getting close to him, she worried her lip to keep the nervousness at bay. After taking the willow branch from him and putting it aside, she took his hand in hers and went through the motions, giving him pointers on where to strike the wool and how hard. Once he had it down, she handed over the willow branch. But not leaving him to work all alone, she picked up another and joined him.

.oOo.

By the time the sun began to sink, they were done and loading baskets with the wool to take back inside. Both of them were tired, hungry, and sweaty, and Sakura truly believed they had made some progress with the material. If she had been on her own, she wasn't sure how much she would've gotten done. She was really thankful for his help and she let him know. She offered him the chance to bathe first and he gladly accepted it.

While he was cleaning up, Sakura quickly washed her hands, arms, and face and then set about making supper. This time she set out some wheat bread with the berries and large cups for the ale. Supper wasn't anything exceptional, but vegetable pottage was better than going hungry. Letting the pottage warm over the fire, she went to the front of the house and lit a fire. It was the first time she had used the fireplace in over a month. She felt rather happy to have a reason to light it.

Kakashi returned from his bath, pants slung low and her brother's shirt open revealing still-wet skin pulled taut over sculpted muscle. The breath caught in her throat at the sight and she wordlessly directed him to the fire.

Now turned away from the distraction, she wet her lips and tried to speak. "Dry off here. I need to take your measurements for the shirt."

He nodded and let her take the shirt off. With a piece of fabric that doubled as a measuring tape, Sakura took the width from shoulder to shoulder and jotted it down. Then she measured from shoulder to hip, being extra careful to not touch him too intimately, which was hard to do when his skin was so soft. She circled his chest again, eyes going wide and pausing as she brushed across a nipple. She pulled a face behind him, hoping childishly that he didn't notice her do that. It was an accident after all. She then lowered it to his waist, and then continued shyly to his hips after writing down the numbers.

By the time she circled to stand in front of him her heart was hammering. She took one last measurement around his arm and then offered a small smile as she looked up at him. His face was close enough to hers that she could hear him breathing. His eyes were locked on her, but not in a menacing way. When had she gotten that close to him?

She quickly looked away and stepped back, breaking whatever spell she had been under. "I can get started on it tomorrow hopefully, if the spinning gets done."

He nodded, acknowledging her, and then she helped him with the bandages and put the shirt back on.

"Supper should be ready. Do you like pottage?"

"Most of the time."

Sakura chuckled. "I agree, some seasons the pottage is horrible, isn't it? But this one is very good, I made it myself."

"Well then, I have nothing to worry about."

"Have a seat."

As they ate, Kakashi asked about her life: the farm, learning the trade, and her friends. Sakura was happy to answer. It had been a long time since anyone sat at the table with her and it made her a bit talkative. She thought about apologizing, but he seemed to enjoy her stories – she had his attention as if he was a child and she was telling a bedtime story.

Yet, when she asked about his life he clammed up. Picking at the bread, he told her that there simply wasn't much to tell. So she asked about life as a soldier. He still didn't say much, but offered her a little information on training and the men he had come to know. There was a fondness to his voice when he spoke of the few friends he had made, and she could feel that warmth.

"You'll get back to them soon."

He hummed as he sat back. "I like how quiet it is here, though. The camps can be quite noisy."

"And I imagine it interferes with your reading," she said in a stale voice.

He grinned. "Yes, but luckily I know a few spots where I can't be bothered."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

"Supper was delicious, thank you."

She gave a bright smile. "Well, I'm going to bathe and then get some sleep. There's combing and spinning to do tomorrow."

"I have to say, I wasn't aware that much work went into clothing."

"It's not so bad though; there could be worse work to do. You're welcome to stay up as long as you'd like. There's more ale in the kitchen."

She stood and headed toward the bath, glancing back at him over her shoulder. His eyes caught hers and she softly smiled as she turned back around. It was strange, feeling so drawn to a person. Her skin tingled at the memory of running her hands across his back as she took his measurements. How could one person's body look so strong and yet fragile at the same time? And the way he looked at her! It was maddening.

And then another realization struck Sakura, she was attracted to this man. One full day of interaction and she felt the odd magnetic pull grow stronger. There were still a couple days until she'd have the shirt ready.

_This_, she thought, _could be a problem._

.oOo.

The next morning was much like the first. Sakura rose first and he joined her for breakfast. Afterward, she showed him how to properly comb the wool before she continued spinning. While they worked she learned about the different places he had seen as a soldier: the villages he had passed through, the waters he had crossed, and the nobles he had met – including his favorite author of the times. Sakura had no such stories to share, but she listened intently, asking questions about the different festivals and ships he had been on.

Dinner was shared comfortably with Sakura answering his questions about her hopes and dreams. Thinking so far into the future was not something she did much of, but she told him that she imagined that her reputation would grow and she'd be seen as one of the best textile manufacturers in the country. She wanted to take earnings from dressing nobility and use them to enrich her peoples' lives. But it seemed like a far-fetched dream, she told him. So she'd be happy to live in peace and make enough money to give her family a cozy life, and if one day that included a husband and kids, it wouldn't be so bad.

She asked if he wanted to remain a soldier or if there was something else he wanted to do, and she gained a little insight into the mystery that surrounded him. His father had always wanted him to follow in his steps and serve a lord, but when he was younger his mother often told him stories of her land and the garden she tended to and the animals she cared for. While he lived a life of duty, he admitted - with a faint blush - that one day he'd like a place like his mother's. After that Kakashi seemed focused more on work and less on talking, and Sakura understood that speaking about such things were probably difficult for him.

After their conversation Kakashi seemed a bit distracted and easily frustrated with the wool. Even though Sakura knew there was still a lot to do, she put down the spindle and called for Kakashi to follow her. Sighing, he dropped the combs and eagerly went after her out of the back door.

"What is it, Sakura?"

"You look miserable."

He blinked. "I look – so, we've come outside for…?"

"Let's fight."

She kept her expression cool as he gave her a funny look. "Fight? Against you, a woman?"

"Soldiers train and fight, do they not?"

"Well, yes we do, every day to keep in shape."

"Show me then."

His brow raised, interest piqued and body thrumming with the chance to instruct and move. "You're serious?"

She nodded. "I am."

"Women don't learn these techniques, but I'll show you. I believe you can handle it."

Seeing him smile made her feel happier, so she relaxed her stance and waited for instruction. He circled around her, eyes raking up and down. It wasn't sexual in any way, he was simply analyzing her, but she still couldn't stop the blush from spreading across her face.

"When someone strikes at you with his hand, you block it here," he said as he lifted her arm and tapped against the forearm. "There are different ways to keep your attacker confused. We soldiers, once we've become unarmed the fight changes. With no weapons, we keep the body moving. The purpose is not to let the opponent know where and when we will strike."

"And if your opponent hits first?"

"Swing at me."

Recalling the fights she had seen her brother get in to, she raised her hand and then swung it forward, aiming for his chest. He caught her arm, one hand closing around her wrist before jerking her and applying pressure with his other hand at her elbow, effectively locking her in the position.

After releasing her, she looked up at him with a small grin. "That was very quick."

"Would you like to try?"

She nodded and then they went through the motions until she was able to flow through it. When he attacked her, she blocked him and locked his arm with ease.

"Very good."

The tiny bit of praise warmed her, and she wanted more of it. "Can we continue?"

"Sometimes grappling can get intense and the opponent gets in close." He stepped into her personal space. "And malice is in his eyes as he grabs for you." He raised his hand, the heel of his palm pressed against her collarbone as his fingers loosely settled around her neck. Her lively eyes widened and he offered a small smile. "I won't hurt you."

"Okay. So now what do I do?" she asked, voice hushed.

"Raise your hand and strike my arm. The elbow is weak. With the right amount of power you can loosen the hold and counter. So you strike my arm, I let go, and then you catch my arm and apply the hold I first taught you."

"I think I understand."

His fingers flexed on her delicate skin. "Try it."

Taking a deep breath, she did exactly as he told her and squeaked in surprise as she managed to succeed in getting out of his hold. He chuckled at her antics, and he let his hand fall atop her head. He gently ruffled her hair, letting his hand sweep down the back of her head. Sakura stilled as a jolt of pleasure from his touch rippled down her spine.

His thumb swept across her jaw as he lowered his hand and he gave her another smile. "Perhaps women should be allowed to fight."

"With only two maneuvers? I don't know about that."

"Would you like to learn more?"

She could tell that he was enjoying himself, so if she could make it last longer then she would. "Yes!"

He walked her through a few more different attacks and ways to counter or escape, and he taught her when to widen or narrow her stance. The sun had moved in the sky and late afternoon settled in when they were ready for the mock-fight.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked one final time.

"Yes, I'm sure."

With a light shrug of his shoulders, he lifted his hands out as he spun around to face her across the open space between them. "Remember, you just have to tell me to stop."

She nodded as she got into her stance. She watched his legs as he started to advance on her, and while instinct was telling her to back up, she knew that she could protect herself. Letting go of her apprehension, she moved, trying to fake him out. She blocked his first hit and the second. When he tried to grab at her, she spun around, only for him to catch her from behind. His grip on her wrists was tight, but not threateningly so. She struggled against him to try to stop him from keeping his balance. Turning her hands out, she thrust downward and broke out, turning on him to strike.

But he was ready for it. He grabbed her arm and spun her. She clenched her eyes shut as her feet came off the ground. She felt one of his arms settle under a knee before she felt herself falling. Then suddenly, it all stopped. She didn't hit the ground and she could still feel his arms supporting her. He held her there, just above his knee. With caution she slowly cracked open her eyes and his own were staring right into hers. A light sheen of sweat covered his face and what was visible to her of his chest. His lips were wet and parted for breath, and the urge to jump forward, to throw her arms around his neck and fuse their mouths together was almost too strong for Sakura to take.

"You lost," he said quietly.

She laughed. "You didn't show me that one."

He shared in her laughter as he lowered her leg and then helped her up as they both stood.

"Thank you, Sakura. I think I needed that."

She gave a short bow of her head. "It wasn't a problem at all. Thank you for showing me."

He gestured back to the door and they went inside to finish up for the day – the atmosphere much lighter than before.

.oOo.

The pair woke to a dismal morning, the sunrise blotted out by large, dark clouds and dense tufts of fog. Sakura rubbed at her eyes as she served breakfast. Getting up and going felt so hard to do this morning. But she had told Kakashi she'd show him how to weave, and she needed to get started on the sleeves for his shirt.

So that was exactly what they set out to do after eating. Although women weavers were common, Kakashi had been surprised to learn that many of the professional weavers were men. After she had shown him how to do it, he took over. His fingers moved slowly at first, but soon he grasped the pattern and his rhythm sped.

Sakura worked on his clothes, the needle and thread moving with quick, sure actions. She looked up at him and smiled as he worked. He had been a huge help, and she truly enjoyed his company. It was a shame that he would possibly be gone tomorrow. She refrained from sighing, and instead focused on the stitching.

By the time they broke for lunch, Kakashi had finished a loom and Sakura was nearing completion of the shirt. The sky had cleared and the sun was shining brightly, bathing the meadow behind the house in golden warmth.

"If the weather remains nice, would you like to have supper outside?"

"I'd like that, yes." His head tilted to the side and his eyes creased when he smiled.

"Good. Then we can finish up early today so I can cook for us. I have some pig meat that I'd like to use… you do eat pig, don't you?"

He nodded as he chewed on a berry. "Pig is very good. I haven't had any in a long time."

"Then I'll definitely make it!"

"A quiet home with three meals every day… careful, you may tempt me into staying," he joked.

"You should be cautious as well, with as much of a help as you are I may not mind it."

Again, she swore she saw something in his eyes; it came and went so quickly she couldn't be sure, but it was definitely something. He offered his hand to her after he stood, and helped her to her feet. Neither of them was in a hurry to let go, but he relinquished her hand, sliding down til only their fingers touched as if to prolong the contact.

"Come on, let's get more work done."

The afternoon passed quickly, and it made Sakura anxious. Why was it that when you wanted moments to last, time seemed to fly by... indifferent to the circumstances? Kakashi was currently bathing and dressing the injury and she was finishing up supper. The weather held out for them; some distant clouds were moving in, but it was still plenty warm and sunny. She moved some of the dishes outside under the tree where they had shared meals before. The shirt was completed, so she would be giving it to him tonight. After that, there would be no reason for him to stay. She frowned, but then shook it off and smiled. If this was to be his last night then she'd bring out the wine.

She stepped out of the kitchen to find Kakashi waiting for her. "You're done already?"

He nodded. "And you as well?"

"I have something for you that I think you will like."

She pulled the completed shirt out from its cubbyhole and smiled at the quality of her work. "Care to try it on?"

Kakashi shrugged out of her brother's too-small shirt and welcomed the one she made that fit his body so much better. The white shirt was much like his old one; it tied around the wrists and left the neck open with a square cut. The cloth was soft, light, and felt good against his skin. He folded it over in the front and secured it with his belt before looking up to her. "It's amazing! Thank you."

"I told you it would be worth the wait. Ready for supper?"

He opened the door and held his arm out, gesturing for her to go first.

"Why thank you," she said with a chuckle and led the way out into the clearing.

Supper had been a wonderful feast – not just necessarily in terms of food, but the company and the conversation felt perfect. The roasted pig meat was praised by her guest and the wine topped it all off. They sat side by side, munching on berries and drinking wine. Sakura tipped her head to the side as she looked at him in the setting sun.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Nothing, you've just helped me a lot. I must admit, I'm going to miss you Kakashi."

"I'll miss you as well. There aren't many women that have both hair like roses and a fighting spirit."

She smiled and shyly looked away. "Just be careful out there, not everyone will give you the treatment I have."

"And it was very fortunate that you did. You do realize that you quite possibly saved my life?"

She was suddenly feeling very sentimental and she huffed, embarrassed by the rising feelings. "Just don't count on me to do it again!"

He shook his head as he poured some more wine. "I would never dream of burdening you twice."

"You haven't been a burden."

His brows lifted. "No?"

Their eyes met and she sincerely answered him, "No."

Sakura was trapped again by his gaze. He seemed to look into her, deep into her, paralyzing her there in her spot. His stare penetrated her defenses, sent a thrill straight down her being that made her heart dance and her fingers tremble. He leaned closer to her, testing the waters, but there was no way she could move to stop him – not when she wanted him.

His face inched closer, his wine-stained lips advanced. The breath caught in her throat; he was going to kiss her!

"All you have to do is tell me to stop, Sakura."

"Kakashi -"

A pleasant sound resonated from the back of her throat as his lips crashed upon hers. Her arms circled his neck as he pressed her down to the earth, mouths moving in desperation to keep up with their tongues.

A heavy roll of thunder sounded in the distance, but they continued undisturbed by the first splatters of rain. She tilted her head as his lips descended on the sensitive skin of her neck. She knew he had only two hands, but it felt like they were everywhere: combing through her hair, squeezing her sides, skimming across her leg under her gown, and brushing over her breasts. The pleasure that hummed through her body was surreal.

The rain began to fall harder, and as it soaked into her hair and clothes she felt his kisses return. She turned her face back to his to find his eyes were darkened with want and his sterling hair was stuck haphazardly to his face. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she lifted her hand and placed it on his cheek – completely unaware of how gorgeous he thought she looked wet and laid out against the ground.

"Would you like to continue this inside?" he asked rather boldly.

The rain may have begun to cool her flesh, but Sakura still felt as if she was burning. "Yes…" She moved to briefly connect their lips. "Very much."

He pulled up from her and then helped her to her feet. They abandoned the dishes, the wine, and what little food was left, and ran through the downpour. She laughed as she pulled him inside, through the workspace and toward the front of the house.

He caught her wrist and spun her around, wrapping his other arm around her waist. Bodies pressed together, his fingers slid across her cheek to outline her lips. Her eyes fluttered close, absorbing his calloused touch. He tilted her head towards him and melded their mouths together.

She could feel his hands go further down to her hips where he lifted her gown, inching it higher and higher with each pull of his fingers. She knew what he was doing; she could feel the air touch her skin as it was exposed. When his hands found her thighs she gasped and he took advantage, slipping his tongue in to twist with hers. His hands were strong and sure as they squeezed tight skin and maneuvered her backwards. She bumped the edge of the table, but it was apparently where he wanted her as one quick lift had her sitting upon it.

The cotton bodice she wore sat under her bust and was lined with buttons in the front. It looked to be quite a challenge, but Kakashi had never backed down from one and he wasn't about to start. He kissed down her neck, one hand creeping up her leg as the other began to work the buttons. His fingertips teased her inner thigh, brushing so tantalizingly close to the heat pulsing at her center.

His attention on her was dizzying, between the kissing and touching Sakura felt as if she was on a cloud. But then she plummeted back to earth as his fingers trailed over her clothed center, dragging over the dampness that had gathered there.

He had only made it halfway through the buttons when she pulled away. Her face was flushed as she reached behind her back. "I'll just get it laced again," she mumbled as she quickly untied it.

A predatory grin quirked his lips as he helped her take of the restraining bodice, leaving her in only her chemise and skirt. She smirked back, sexually charged adrenaline pumping through her veins. She grabbed his belt and pulled him closer to her before she unfastened it. It fell to the floor and she laid her palm against his abdomen, smoothing it across his skin and opening his shirt as she went. She could feel the ridges of muscle beneath her touch and watched as tiny goose bumps were left behind it.

His eyes closed, a soft hum drifting from his mouth. Her fingers curled over his shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll be careful with this one."

He grinned as she pressed feather-light kisses to his chest and pushed the shirt off of his lean frame. As if he could only surrender power temporarily, he was back in control, guiding their movements. He tugged her chemise over her head and added it to the growing pile on the floor. There was no time for her to even try to be modest as he covered her body with his.

"Beautiful," he commented between kisses. His lips continued over skin that had been unexplored - he mapped the valley between her breasts and tasted the smooth succulent skin of her stomach, taking enjoyment in the fine hairs that stood in the wake of his mouth.

The table top was rough on Sakura's elbows as she propped herself up, watching and biting back the wanton sounds rising in her as he paid homage to her body. Hot mouth enveloped a rosy nipple and she moaned, chest pressing closer to the warmth. He nipped and sucked, tongue twirling and tapping against the tight bud.

He wanted to hear, taste and see more, he craved it. His hand found her thigh and traced along her skin, no longer deciding to tease as he dipped it between her legs. Her eyes widened as Kakashi's touch slipped beneath her panties, work-hardened fingertips danced over her most sensitive spot before full fingers pushed past slick folds and into her wet heat.

Sakura's head fell back, lost to the wondrous feelings that assaulted her. Every kiss, touch, tug, and stroke sent her closer to that promising release. Arms no longer able to support her, she lay out on the table, hands clutching knuckle-white to the edges.

He watched her body undulate, seeking more of that delicious friction – more of him, and he'd gladly give himself to her. He thrust his fingers faster within her, angling them with each inward stroke until she was a writhing mess, pleading to come undone. Bent over her, his mouth found hers where he greedily drank down her sounds of ecstasy.

It was like a bolt of lightning ran through her when his thumb pressed down on her. Her back arched and hands, tangled in his thick hair, tugged as her legs quaked. Her body was rocked by the first orgasm she had experienced in far too long.

Kakashi pulled back, eyes watching intently as he eased from her. Bliss settled over her features and when she opened her eyes, he was all that filled her vision. She weakly smiled. "How do you do that?"

He was clearly amused. "Do what?"

"Make me… make me feel so…"

He kissed her once. "Because it's how I feel."

"Show me again."

His gaze softened as he moved, fingers curling into the waistband of her skirt. She lifted her hips, allowing him to pull it off of her. Being so open to him should have been more embarrassing, but it wasn't. She was completely comfortable with him, she trusted him – as silly as it might have sounded.

Sakura watched as he undid his pants and started to slide them down. Her eyes went as low as the deep v-cut on his body before she blushed. He pulled her towards him, one arm supporting her back as he fused their lips together again. With his free hand, he aligned himself with her entrance, and then with a gentle push, he laid her down – mouths barely parting from each other – and eased inside her at the same time.

A soft whimper fell from her lips as her body accommodated to him. "Kakashi…"

His hips began an unhurried pace, drawing out the feeling of their union, allowing her to feel every inch of him as he entered her again and again. Her breaths came in short puffs against his neck; her soft mewls echoed in his perfect hearing, driving him to go faster. On instinct, she wrapped her legs around him and not only did it change the feeling for her, but it must have made a difference to him because his hands clutched at her thighs and a strangled groan left him.

Her lips found his throat so she teased and licked, and her hands roamed his strong back, scratching and clinging to him, encouraging his motions. As their desire for one another intensified so did the rhythm, until Kakashi was upright with her legs in his hands as he snapped his hips forward. Sakura thought the strain and flex of his muscles was incredibly sexy, and she was so caught up in watching his body move that she hardly paid attention to the fact that he was watching her just as close. But that didn't mean she couldn't feel his stare, because she could. She could always feel it when his eyes were on her and gods was it thrilling.

Each forward thrust, each jar of her body, was feeding the fire that was swelling within her. She could feel it, that tightening sensation inside that pleaded _just a little more_.

Perhaps he felt it, too; perhaps that was why his grip tightened, and his jaw clenched, and his brow dipped as if he was struggling with some inner dilemma. "Sakura… I… I'm-"

"Ah! Don't stop!"

His composed rhythm broke and his thrusts became erratic, going harder and deeper, and striking a place within her that he hadn't before. He bumped that spot again and again, making her toes curl and the muscles in her back tighten. Her entire body trembled like a low rumble of a volcano before the eruption, and then her body went taut as she stuttered his name out in the midst of climax.

He clawed at her skin, unable to hold on any longer. Her walls gripped him like a vise, coaxing him to come with her and he willingly let himself go, grinding against her as his body jerked – empty and satiated.

Gathering her strength, Sakura pushed up on the table and grinned as she found his lips again. Their noses bumped as they traded soft, delicate kisses. He wrapped his arms around her and she sighed. "The moment you kissed me, I knew it."

"Knew what?"

"That you were to be leaving."

His expression seemed strained somehow, but he could only mirror her sigh and place another kiss to her forehead. "Yes, in the morning."

"I know that you're better now and you have to return to your duties, but -"

"It would be nice if I could stay with you longer."

She nodded against him, taking the opportunity to really feel his embrace, to appreciate the weight of his arms. "But you're not leaving til morning."

"Yes."

"Which means we still have the night."

Catching on, he grinned. "Yes, we do."

Sakura pulled back a little and turned her eyes up to him. "I have a bed in my room."

Their eyes locked for a moment and she suggestively quirked a brow. She shrieked as he picked her up and turned to go.

"It's on the left," she directed with a laugh.

In the cover of night the couple made love to the sound of falling rain, catching glimpses of each other in the throes of passion when lightning would cut across the sky. In the end, they fell into each other's arms, exhausted and sated.

Sakura set her hand to his chest and hummed as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Maybe one day you can visit my farm, see if you're as good with garden tools as you are with the loom."

He chuckled. "Do you have other animals beside the sheep?"

"We do, and lots of land for them to roam… your mother probably would have liked it."

"Sounds nice. Do you have a bed there, too?" he joked.

She playfully smacked him on the shoulder. "If I say yes, will you come?"

"I'd come even if you told me that we had to sleep on animal skins in the barn."

Eyes growing heavy, she nuzzled against him and pressed a single kiss to his collarbone. "I'd really like it… if you meant it."

"I do. How do you reach your farm from here?"

"You wouldn't remember," she commented with a yawn.

"Sure I will."

"If you board a boat and take the river south, you'll pass three docks. The fourth one, where you can see the steeple of the church, is the one where you get off. Just outside of town there's a signpost where the road diverges into three paths. Our farm is to the west, you'll know it's ours because of the circular sign, and a sheep that my father carved from wood hangs from it."

Kakashi nodded and curled his arm around her. "It will take me some time, but I will go to you, Sakura."

She smiled against him, sleep already pulling at her. "Okay, Kakashi."

.oOo.

In the early dawn hours, they shared more gentle kisses as they dressed. Kakashi even laced up her bodice for her as he teased her about her eagerness, and then kissed her flushed face. With not much else to offer, Sakura shared a final breakfast with Kakashi. She hadn't been sure of how far he'd have to travel to get back to his men, so she wrapped up some bread and provided him with a wooden canteen.

As the townspeople began to rise, setting out for fields and merchant towns, Sakura and Kakashi stood out in the meadow. The bite of the crisp early morning air seemed less harsh with his warmth next to her. Sakura was going to try her hardest not to miss his company. Yes, it was true that they didn't know everything about one another, and in the space of three days she had grown to like him. That kind of attraction didn't happen to everyone – least likely her.

When he kissed her goodbye, she could feel hope in his lips. Because in a time with war nipping at their heels like ravenous hell hounds, two people – brought together by the winds like falling leaves – could still find a measure of happiness.

She smiled as his hand lifted with a small parting wave, and she continued to watch after him until his body disappeared in the morning's dense fog.

.oOo.

Months passed and Sakura had returned home to her family's farm after receiving word about her father's death. As strange as it was, the letter called her home just in time. Only after reaching the arms of her family did she learn that her town had been overwhelmed by the opposing forces. It was a full-on civil war.

Sakura did the only thing she could do; she grieved her loss, hoped and prayed for Kakashi's safety, and tended to her family. Weeding gardens, harvesting crops, feeding the pigs – life continued. A year passed in this fashion.

Then two.

Then one day - a day just as ordinary as any other - as she was tending to the animals she could hear footsteps approach.

With a rather loud sigh she said, "Mother, I told you to stay inside. You're not feeling well and I can handle the chores. Are you that desperate to join father?"

"I'm afraid I can't answer that considering I've never met the man," a voice clearly not her mother's replied.

Sakura froze with her hand full of feed. The seeds and grains spilled as she spun around, eye still locked in disbelief. She never thought she'd hear that voice again, but there he was standing before her.

His name tumbled from her mouth in a breathy surprise. "…Kakashi."

A smirk danced on his lips as she abandoned the flock and raced through the gate. He dropped his bag and opened his arms just in time to welcome her.

"I can't believe you're here!" she cried, arms circling his neck.

"I told you that I'd come to you."

Pulling back in his hold, she noticed the patch over his left eye. "What happened to you?" she asked as her fingers gently traced around it.

"A casualty of war," he offered, and she accepted it without pressing further.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?"

He shook his head as he ran his hand through her hair. His hands cupped her cheeks, his thumb brushed across her lips, and he leaned down to her. The same stutter that her heart felt the first time their lips touched came back with a vengeance as they met again.

She tightened her arms around him and breathed him in. It didn't matter that he smelled like earth and sweat, he was there and the brief happiness they had found together could continue.


	17. You Don't Know

A/N: It's been a while, hasn't it? I shared this yesterday on my LJ and wanted to share it here as well. The title was taken from a song by M Signal as it came on near the end of writing. The song kinda fits, so I used it since I didn't have a title -.-' I hope you like it. Reviews are encouraged, but not necessary.

* * *

Title: You Don't Know  
Rating: T  
No warnings or spoilers; one-sided love and heartache abound!

* * *

Sakura had just left her favorite dango shop, munching on her last stick as a serving wrapped neatly to go was held in her other hand. It was a sunny afternoon, not too hot or too cold, and she had spent the morning with Ino at the shop. They didn't have as much time together these days, so even running the flower store with her was fun. Catching up with her best friend was always something she looked forward to, a luxury in the life they lived.

A grin spread across her face as she neared Ichiraku and the two sets of legs she could see. Disposing of her last stick, she let her feet carry her happily toward them. Lifting the curtain flaps, she threw her arms around her unsuspecting friends' shoulders. Well, at least Naruto was unsuspecting. He choked on the mouthful of noodles, hacking as he gasped for air. And Kakashi… well, he simply chuckled and passed on a hello.

Her eyes narrowing in a playful way, she fought back the accompanying smile. "I'm going to get you one of these days, Kakashi."

"No 'sensei' anymore?" he inquired.

"You're the one that said to stop calling you that."

"I didn't think you'd actually listen."

She rolled her eyes and took her arm away from Naruto to pat him on the back to help him dislodge whatever was still stuck. Teuchi was doubled over in what Sakura assumed was a mixed state of horror and amusement. She turned her gaze back to Kakashi. "I like that you see me as an equal and not your student anymore."

He pulled back and chuckled, bringing his hand up to ruffle her hair. "I'll always see my favorite student in you."

She swatted at his hands. "Ah! Don't you now that girls don't like when you mess up their hair! Kakashi!"

She grumbled as she smoothed out her bangs and Kakashi, ever clever and cunning, took this as his opportunity to slip away. "Thanks for the meal. I'll treat next time."

"No you don't!" Naruto and Sakura exclaimed, but it was too late as he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Sakura sat in the seat he once occupied and looked down at her gift. "But I brought dango…"

"Can I have some?" Naruto asked eyes wide and full of wanting.

She slid it over to him. "Have at it. May I have a bowl of pork ramen?"

"Sure thing, Sakura," Teuchi replied with a smile before yelling to his daughter.

The medic looked over at Naruto who was scarfing down the dango with enthusiasm. She was glad he was enjoying it so thoroughly, but… they were for Kakashi.

.oOo.

The next time she saw Kakashi, she didn't even approach him. He was sitting atop the roof of a general store, nose buried in that book of his. But he didn't appear to be reading. She thought that he must be reflecting on something, or thinking about something or someone, or… who knew what went on in that head of his. She figured it would be best to let him be; she respected the fact that he treasured his privacy, so she gave it to him.

The time after that he was sitting in a tea shop, shaded beneath the outside canopy. She hopped over the railing and sat beside him. He lifted a hand, not once looking up from his book. "Hey, Sakura."

She frowned at him and then pulled a face. "One day…"

"Join me for tea?"

She crossed her arms as she sat back. "You probably just want to stick me with the bill again."

"I would never," he replied, and she could hear the teasing tone to his voice.

She huffed. "Fine, I suppose I should have some since I'm paying after all."

"There's the spirit," he joked as he turned a page in his book.

They didn't say much as they drank; the silence was comfortable and just sitting there beside him was enough. Sakura peeked up at him, heart fluttering as she studied his profile.

She couldn't remember when she started to react to him that way. She had been surprised at first that her heart could even thump so strongly. She chalked it up to the intense training she had done that day, but the next time it happened was when she ran into him at the market. There was no explaining that one. It had kept her awake all night, and when she had finally dozed off she had dreamt of him. When she stopped for coffee the next morning, Kakashi was there as well. And when he dropped a stir stick into her cup, she nearly dropped it as her body responded to being close to him. He had readied himself to catch the cup, and instead his hand rested over hers, gaze showing concern. She had laughed and brushed it off as her being tired from staying up all night and studying medical texts, and he believed her.

After that day, she knew what it was. She was equal parts mortified and thrilled. How could she be attracted to this man? This person who was once her sensei, and one of her most precious people, how could she… Maybe it was a phase, like her love for Sasuke. It would all pass and he'd go back to being Kaka-sensei in her mind, and in her heart. But every time they crossed paths her heart would flutter, hammer, pound, race, and be short of exploding – until she just grew accustomed to it.

He was fourteen years her senior, held a superior rank, and she had known him practically all her life. How could she even begin to confess her feelings to someone like him? And he was someone she trusted - that trusted her – and she wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. All she could do was love him the way she could right now – which was to be the person he needed, a friend.

If she could be by his side and give him comfort, make him smile, make him happy, and be there when he needed an open ear, a strong shoulder, or a place to stay… Well, that wasn't a bad way to love was it?

"You feeling okay, Sakura?"

His question snapped her out of her reverie and she nodded with a smile. "It's just been busy at the hospital. If I'm not with patients, I'm in the lab. And if I'm not in the lab I'm filing paperwork that Tsunade or Shizune should be doing."

"Don't let them hear you say that," he cautioned.

She laughed. "I won't, trust me; I learned that the hard way."

He watched as she picked up a flower from the tray the tea came on. She plucked its petals off and put them in her cup. He suddenly seemed interested. "Is that what they've been for this whole time?"

Sakura shrugged, a tiny smile tugging at her lips. "Maybe. Being around Ino you learn all the other things you can use flowers for. It doesn't change the flavor of the tea that much and it smells really nice. Do you want to try some?" She held her cup up for him, and then pointed to his face. "I won't look."

She turned her head the other way, and glad she did so as her cheeks warmed when he placed his hands around hers and her cup, lifting it to his mouth to drink. Again, her heart thumped heavily. She closed her eyes and willed her heart to calm itself. She felt him lower her hand, and her cup. She kept her eyes closed, still fighting down her crazed heart.

"It does have a nice fragrance."

When she didn't reply or even look at him, he poked the side of her head. "You can look now."

She wasn't sure if she was strong enough to look yet, but she couldn't wait any longer; she didn't want him to get suspicious. She slowly turned to face him and put on a smile. "Really? So you liked it?"

He nodded with a hum. "Though I'm not sure if I'll be putting petals in every cup I drink."

She went to reply when suddenly there was a pair of shadows looming over them. She looked up into the animal guises and sighed. "Let me guess…"

"Haruno, Sakura you are to report to the hospital immediately."

"Understood." She glanced at Kakashi and her unfinished cup of tea that touched his lips. "Sorry, it looks like I'm sticking you with the bill today."

"There's always next time. You should go."

She nodded and then hopped over the railing once more before taking to the rooftops and heading toward the hospital.

.oOo.

Locked away in the south ward was a special case. All Tsunade briefed her on was that the patient was once a Konoha shinobi thought to have been killed in action. She was found in the far eastern region of Lightning and brought back. Sakura was to attend to her and oversee her recovery and make sure she went to counseling.

Sakura looked down at the woman sleeping in the bed. She had markings on her face similar to those of the Inuzuka clan except hers were purple, not red. Her brunette hair was tangled, so as she slept Sakura carefully combed out what she could while she waited for Tsunade to return with her file. She wondered about the sleeping woman: who she was, how old she was, if she had family here, why she had been away for so long.

A light knock at the door startled Sakura. Shizune softly smiled at her and then called for her to come see Tsunade. She was given the woman's file and ordered to keep her mouth shut about her appearance. On the hospital's roof top, Sakura thumbed through her file. Her name was Rin, she was a jounin, and looking at her birthdate she was around the same age as Kakashi.

As she turned through the next couple of pages, she froze. There was a photo of this Rin woman with Kakashi and a raven-haired boy – and they were young. She picked the photo out of the folder and studied it. Kakashi was cute even back then. She smiled to herself as she put it back. So then Rin knew Kakashi also… and that meant that Kakashi must have thought she was dead this whole time. Her heart jumped a little and she put her hand over her chest. Tsunade said not to tell anyone, but shouldn't Kakashi know that his former team mate was alive? He had always burdened himself with the fact that he was never able to protect those close to him. Surely Rin had been close to him at one point. Wouldn't knowing she was alive lift that heaviness, if only a little?

She sighed as she closed the file and stood, dusting off the back of her shorts. She should go back and check on her, and then maybe… maybe she could get permission to tell Kakashi. Even if Tsunade refused, Sakura still felt her resolve building. She had to let Kakashi know. If the roles were reversed, she'd want to know.

The southern ward was relatively quiet, and the echo of her footsteps almost seemed like an ominous sign. Shaking it off, she stopped outside of Rin's room and paused as she reached for the door handle. There were voices coming from inside and when she peeked through the panel window, she was surprised to see Kakashi already there.

Rin closed her eyes, pushing tears from them, with a smile gracing her face and Kakashi, sitting by her side and holding her hand, appeared to be crying, too.

Sakura knew she should look away, give them a bit of privacy, but morbid curiosity drove her to look on. She had never seen Kakashi look like that before. Sure she had seen him in pain, she had seen him drunk, she had even seen him cry once before… but it hadn't looked like this. There was sincerity on his face… and then she realized that his mask was down. It was down! He had never shown her his face, and now for her first time looking, and it wasn't even meant for her.

Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth to hide a gasp as Rin struggled to push herself to sit up. She needed to go in there and-

"Rin, are you crazy? You need to lie down!" Kakashi scolded her.

But Rin didn't listen, and she grimaced and kept pushing until she was sitting up all the way. The two stared at each other for what felt like eternity before finally Rin threw herself forward into Kakashi's arms. Kakashi held her tightly, smoothing a hand over her hair as she cried against him. And though Sakura could see tears falling from his face, his smile stood out the most.

The rosette turned away from the door, placing her hand over her chest again, as this time instead of her heart thudding in delight it almost felt like beating was a chore in itself.

That couldn't be right. She was the one wanting to tell him in the first place. She wanted to be happy for him and for him to be happy. And it was obvious that he was so…

Why did it hurt so much?

_Because you wanted him to happy with_you, her inner self pointed out.

No way, she argued. She was just surprised by seeing him there all of a sudden. She was happy for him. She was and she was going to prove it to herself.

She knocked and entered the room a moment later, giving Kakashi time to fix himself. She put on her medic face and shook her head at her patient. "You really should be lying down."

"I've already told her that but she won't listen to me," Kakashi said, his voice seemingly lighter than before.

"And what are you doing here?" Sakura asked. "Does Tsunade know you're here? I don't want to get into any trouble or-"

"No worries, she summoned me herself."

"Ah, I see." Somehow she was disappointed that she hadn't been the one to tell him. "Well, you should probably let her rest. I have to do some tests and-"

"Can't he stay?" Rin asked, interrupting her.

"Well, it's against procedures and-"

"Please?"

Sakura looked over to Kakashi for help, but realized that he wasn't going to, that he wanted to stay as much as Rin did. She sighed and nodded.

.oOo.

For the following weeks Kakashi was around more often than Sakura had ever seen him before. He and Rin were like two peas in a pod, like a kid attached to his first pet, or his favorite toy. While in the village he would visit her, and when visiting hours were over, Sakura would often find him back again, having snuck in through the windows.

She scolded him for it one day, on how he never liked hospitals but now he was always in one. She threatened to put him in it for longer than he wished, which only made Rin laugh.

"I like you, Sakura-chan!" she would often say.

And for some reason, that only made Sakura feel worse.

.oOo.

One afternoon, Sakura was returning from lunch with papers in hand that would grant Rin the opportunity to get out of the hospital and walk around the village that must surely have changed since she was last here.

She paused outside the open door at the voices. Kakashi was there again. That didn't really surprise her anymore, but the soft laughter inside certainly did.

"When did you start doing that?" Rin asked.

"It was just something a friend of mine showed me. It doesn't impact the flavor a lot, but it smells really nice doesn't it?"

"It must've been a girl," Rin stated with little enthusiasm.

"What? Why do you say that?"

"What man puts flowers in his tea?" she teased. "Was it someone you dated after I was gone?"

"Don't be like that," he started.

"Well, I was gone for a long time, and you thought I was dead… so I can see why you'd move on, and I can't be mad at you for that. I just meant-"

"Stop it," his voice was stern, but then softened. "I tried, but you… you were…" He paused and sighed. "You know Sakura, my former student and your _medic_? She's the one that showed me."

"Oh." Rin's voice sounded relieved. "She must be a good friend to you."

Before Sakura could hear anymore she walked in. "I see you're feeling better today! That's great!"

Rin nodded. "Kakashi brought some tea. Would you like some? He even brought flowers to put in like you showed him. Isn't it great?"

"It is, but no thanks, I just came back from lunch. And I have something that should make you both happy." Sakura handed over the papers. "You're being discharged."

"Really?" Rin's eyes went wide with happiness.

Sakura smiled in return. "Yup. Now you can keep this oaf out of my hospital."

"That's great news," Kakashi declared as he squeezed Rin's arm with the kind of tenderness that Sakura longed for. He looked over at Sakura and lightly bowed his head. "Thanks, Sakura."

"Just doing my job," she replied, brushing it off.

He walked over to her and ruffled her hair making her squirm and slap at his hands. "Quit it!"

He leaned closer to her. "Really, thanks, Sakura."

"You can thank me by getting out of here already!"

She certainly didn't have to tell them twice. In no time at all they were ready to go and waving goodbye as they walked out of the room side by side.

Sakura fell onto the now empty hospital bed and looked over at the abandoned tea. She rubbed her forehead, suddenly feeling more tired than before.

.oOo.

Now that her duty to Rin was complete, Tsunade gave Sakura some time off. It wasn't necessary of her, but Sakura took it anyway. She enjoyed being out in the open instead of feeling boxed in by hospital walls like she had felt lately. She helped Ino at her store, joined Naruto for ramen, helped Hinata with chakra control and healing techniques, and even sparred with Tenten.

But all the things she did to occupy her time still wasn't enough to keep her from running into Kakashi. Only now when she spotted him, Rin was at his side. The times he noticed her and called her over to join them, she always politely refused. It was different when it was just him, but seeing Rin there, too, made her heart feel even funnier than before. It made her question her method of loving him, and if he even needed her kind of love any longer. After all, he had Rin. And he obviously saw her as a woman.

And Sakura, he still saw her as a kid, as his former student, and nothing more.

So while she smiled, her heart was crying.

.oOo.

One evening as she was lying in bed, there was a tap at her window before it creaked open. She was surprised to see Kakashi there. She quickly sat up, aware of her state of dress and attempted to cover herself. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Why must there be something wrong for me to see you?"

Sakura deflated. "Because there usually is when you come here."

"I just wanted to see you," he stated as he came in and sat atop her desk.

She raised a brow. "And?"

"I feel like you've been avoiding me."

Her cheeks started to heat up a little and she crossed her arms over her thin shirt to cover her chest. "I'm not avoiding you, I just… wanted to give you and Rin some time is all."

"Really? She thought maybe you found someone you liked and that's why you weren't coming around. I guess we were both wrong."

"Sorry, did I ruin any running bets?"

Kakashi chuckled. "No. I just wanted to come and tell you that I appreciate the privacy, but you can still come and talk to me, even if she is there."

"I just don't know Rin very well, so I'd feel uncomfortable talking to you about things around her…"

"Well it's just me now. Wanna talk?"

As if picking up a shovel to dig her own grave, Sakura couldn't stop the words from coming. "So, are you happy that she's back? Is she adjusting well?"

He nodded. "It is strange though, to see her by my side after all these years. I grieved over her for so long. It feels really surreal."

"I bet she has similar feelings."

"I suppose she does. She's always been really shy when it comes to that kind of thing."

Sakura nodded as she brought her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest. "I understand that."

"Really? I could never tell; you were so persistent when it came to Sasuke, declaring your love at every opportunity," he teased.

Sakura's brow furrowed. "You just had to bring that up, didn't you? Ugh… that wasn't love…"

The tone of her voice, the distant look in her eyes, it piqued the copy nin's chatty side – not that he'd ever admit to having one. "Oh… was Rin right by any chance? Is there someone you like? You know he'll have to get the approval of not just Naruto but me, too."

Seeing the moonlight reflect against his hair mesmerized her. All she wanted to do was touch it. She hummed to herself. "There is someone. He's got a certain charm about him, but he's older than me."

"So what?"

"Yeah, I guess that doesn't really matter. He's really nice, but cheap," she continued. "His humor's a bit odd, but I like it. And I thought we were finally getting closer, and I wanted to tell him how I felt…"

"So why didn't you?"

She could feel that familiar stinging behind her eyes and took a deep breath. "Because apparently, once again, I was the only one that had those feelings. He just sees me as a friend, and he's been seeing this other girl." She blew out a frustrated breath to try to hide the coming tears. "And just when I had worked up the nerve to say 'Hey! I like you'. I feel like such a fool."

Kakashi sighed. "Don't worry, Sakura, you're still young and you'll find someone. That guy's an idiot for passing up someone like you."

Tears began to flow more freely as his words seemed to have made the opposite effect of what he had been hoping for. He really hated seeing her cry. "Maybe… maybe he'll come around. He'll see what an amazing friend and woman you are and-"

"It's okay," she interrupted him. "You don't have to try to make me feel better; it just feels good to have finally said it, even if he doesn't know."

"So then stop crying, okay? You're much prettier when you smile."

She nodded and wiped at her eyes as Kakashi dug around in his pockets. "Rin thought that you were feeling a little down, so she thought I should bring this. She said chocolate cures everything, though I'm not sure how true that is."

She took the small box with the bite size chocolates inside, her heart seeming to squeeze painfully as she did so. "Thanks."

"Actually, I wanted to tell you something. You really are one of the best medics in the nation. I know I don't say it often… or at all… but, well…" he scratched the back of his head and then approached her bedside. He hugged her, causing her eyes to go wide. "I… love you, Sakura. Thank you for everything."

She choked back the tears as she hugged him back, nodding and breathing him in. "Of course. I'd do anything for you. I… I love you, too, Kakashi."

He quickly broke apart from her and ruffled her hair again to lighten the mood. This time she sat there and took it, scoffing as he messed up her freshly brushed hair. She could tell he was frowning by the look in his eye when he pulled away.

"I thought you didn't like that?"

She shrugged and offered him a half-smile. "I'll get used to it."

"Join me and Rin for lunch tomorrow?"

She inhaled deeply and nodded. "Sure."

His eye creased and he waved to her as he made his way back to the window. "Don't be late."

"Isn't that my line?" she joked.

He chuckled and then he was gone. Her smile fell and she picked up the small box of chocolates as she went to the window. She knew that she wouldn't be able to see him any longer; he was always good at making an exit. She picked up a piece of chocolate and held it up, examining it before popping it in her mouth.

"It's really good," she whispered as she let it melt. She wasn't even aware that she had been crying until she went to pick up the next piece and it as wet and salty from her tears. Finally realizing this only made her cry more. "I ruined it," she sobbed as she leant against the window sill, the chocolates spilling out onto the ground below.

And never once did she see that across the street, Kakashi was staring up at her with his brow pinched.

* * *

To be continued... ?


	18. Almost Lover - YDK pt 2

**You Don't Know - pt. 2 - Almost Lover**

Brown eyes fell from the billowing curtains and the neatly manicured nails at the tip of dangling hands and skimmed over to the man who was still watching the open window. Who was she kidding? He was still watching _her_. Rin told herself to let it go. She had been gone for more than a decade – nearly two – and during that time he had continued his routine, grew older, took on his own team, and made more bonds. It was apparent that those he kept around him were special, and Sakura was no exception to that. Rin was grateful that he had someone that could help put him back together, that looked out for his life – and had probably been the one that kept him alive long enough for her to meet him again. She was so very grateful. But then why did the way he was looking at that woman bother her so much?

Rin sighed as she studied him. He was obviously troubled; the disheartened slouch, the hand limp at his side, and the dip of his brow all said that he was concerned. The fact that instead of leaving to return to her, he remained nearby and watched over Sakura made Rin feel out of place. Time waited on no one and it was obvious that Konoha and everyone within its walls had transformed over the years, _with_ the years. And Rin? She was in the past. Her old home had been lost when Pain attacked the village. The training grounds were arranged differently than she remembered. Even the Academy had been rebuilt and so her carvings in the girls' bathroom were no longer there. Her favorite restaurant was now a shoe repair shop. The village was the only place she had ever thought of as home and now it all felt so heartbreakingly foreign.

When she had woken in the hospital to see Kakashi beside her she had been so elated; it was as if the gods had granted her one wish. It was like waking from a dream only to find reality so much more appealing. All of her guilt and burdens had crumbled away at the sight of his face, his face that she had missed so much, that had matured and was yet still so much the same. She had never felt more relieved or happy in her life. He was her one hope that everything would be alright from that moment on. But even after weeks of exploring the village and hogging his company, she still felt uneasy. She wanted to believe that it didn't bother her that things were so different, that she could adapt to it – she was a ninja after all – but as more time passed, the more she struggled.

The more times that they ran into Sakura and the rosette would shy away or give any reason to leave first, the more suspicious she became. The way Kakashi had spoken to her about it, about how he was worried about her always ditching them when that wasn't how she was normally, there was a fondness in his voice that Rin actually found she was envious of. She tried making up reasons for her behavior to ease his mind, and even the times he shrugged and told her "you're probably right" she knew that he didn't believe it.

Looking at him now under the moonlight, with all of his attention focused on the soft cries from above, Rin couldn't help but wonder if he was a part of Konoha that had been restored without her memory, too. She pulled back into the shadows and then turned on her heel. All she needed was some time to think – or perhaps some time to not think at all.

.oOo.

Rin ducked her head, evading Kakashi's fingers as he reached for 'something in her hair' for the hundredth time since they sat. She was positive he was just trying to touch her for the sake of touching, but after seeing him last night outside of Sakura's house she wasn't sure how she felt about it.

She swatted at his hand as he made another move. "Don't think I won't kick your ass right here."

His eye widened. "You would not."

She tilted her chin defiantly, trying to hide a smirk. "Oh, no?"

He leant closer to her. "You would, wouldn't you?"

Her eyes narrowed and she shortened the gap between them. "Would I?"

Her breath hitched as he met her gaze and held it; it was like he was searching for something within her dark depths. It was a bit unsettling how penetrating his stare was, but she didn't waver. He finally sat back and shook his head. "You've gotten scary since you've been gone, Rin."

She could hear the teasing sound to his voice, but she wondered what else about her had changed in his eyes. Her lips pursed to the side and she looked away. "Maybe you've just gotten softer."

His hand rested atop hers and his touch provoked her to face him. "Maybe I have."

She wanted to ask him to elaborate; she suddenly wanted to hear every story he could possibly tell, to hear about how he had changed. She wanted to know about any memories at special places, what it was like having a genin team, and all about the Uzumaki boy that reminded her so much of her former sensei. She wanted to hole up with him and hear him talk until he was blue in the face. And then it would be her turn.

But then he suddenly grinned, his eye creasing in happiness, and she followed his gaze to the pinkette as he greeted her. "Hey, Sakura! Have a seat."

The medic looked between the two of them and took the empty chair across the table as she offered a polite smile. "How've you been, Rin?"

"Fine, just still getting used to the village."

She nodded, tucking some stray hair behind her ear. "It must have changed a lot since you've been away."

For some reason, Rin didn't like her tone of voice. It wasn't that she was _jealous_ – sensitive would be a better word – but she found herself reaching for Kakashi's hand. "Yeah, but some things stay the same." Then she smiled at him. If it made Sakura uncomfortable, she didn't notice.

Sakura cleared her throat a little and reached for the pitcher of water and poured a glass. "What about any pains?" she asked after taking a sip.

"A little, but I'm a medic, too, Sakura-chan."

"But Sakura is one of the best medics in the nation," Kakashi butted in. "She was trained by Tsunade-sama herself."

Rin turned to give Sakura a closer look, appraising her in a different light. "You apprenticed under the Hokage?"

The rosette nodded. "I did."

Rin wanted to pout and ask what made her so special, but as soon as she thought it, she realized how juvenile it sounded. Instead she smiled. "Well, that certainly makes me feel better knowing that I had someone with your expertise to look over me."

Sakura smiled back. "You can thank Kakashi for that. If it wasn't for him I probably never would've gotten as much practice."

The brunette looked beside her and Kakashi gave his cheek a sheepish scratch. "You know how I am."

Did she? They were just into their teens, experiencing those blossoming emotions, when she last saw him. She remembered Kakashi as cold and aloof, as practical and bossy. He would do things _his_ way or no way at all, because he had always been so sure that he knew the right thing to do in any situation. He always ended up coming out on top, and after that fateful day when they lost Obito, she hadn't seen him emerge from battle with little more than a few scratches. To think he had gotten to the point where he needed medical attention – and quite a bit of it at that – made her wonder when that had all changed.

She only sighed and shook her head at him. "Troublesome."

"I ran into Naruto earlier today, he said he wants us to meet for ramen tonight at Ichiraku's," Kakashi announced.

Sakura made a tsk sound. "All he does is eat noodles. Can we stick him with the bill tonight? Maybe if he goes broke he'll realize his mistakes… and I had some… _expenses_ taken out of my check, so I really need to save what I can."

Kakashi's brow lifted. "What'd you do this time?"

"Nothing," she replied in a quiet voice and turned her attention to her water.

"Sakura."

She deflated at his tone. "I put Kisanagi through the window. He deserved it for the way he touched me! I don't care if he was already injured, that lecherous old man had it coming!"

Kakashi let out a bark of laughter, surprising both women. Rin stared at him in shock; she rarely had the pleasure of hearing him laugh. He had never really been the laughing type of person, which was a shame because he had a wonderful one. Rin wanted to make him laugh like that.

Sakura frowned. "It's not that funny. I lost a lot of money."

"Sorry, Sakura-chan, but yeah, let's leave him with the bill. He eats the most anyway."

Seeing Kakashi with friends was new and different and nice, Rin decided. He had always been such a solitary person that she never would've thought he'd ever open up. She was glad she was wrong. He needed friends and outings; she only wished she had been around for them. But she could be now.

"Can I come, too?" she asked, eyes wide with hope.

He put his arm around her shoulders. "Sure you can! You've been wanting to meet Naruto, haven't you? He's a nice kid, you'll like him."

Rin smiled and looked over at Sakura who was looking down at her feet. The younger medic looked up and met her gaze, then Kakashi's arm around her, and then she quickly looked away and stood. "I'm going to be on my way."

"But you just got here," Kakashi countered.

Her emerald eyes slid back to Rin, who lifted her hand to his, and then looked away. "Yeah, but I'll see you later tonight. Enjoy your time."

Before he could protest again, Sakura was gone and his hand slid from Rin's hold as his arm fell away from her shoulders. For a brief moment, Rin felt like she had won. Won what, she wasn't quite sure, but it was a small victory because she had him all to herself again. But when she saw the look in his eye, she could feel her heart drop. "What's wrong, Kakashi?"

"It's nothing," he replied and then grinned, his tone becoming lighter. "What would you like for lunch? Do you still like tempura?"

What she wanted was the truth! She was curious what exactly the pink-haired medic meant to him. Was she just a kid like Naruto? He had said she was a friend before, but was she more than that? Afraid of the answer, knowing it might mean that he was no longer an option for her, Rin only leaned toward him and looked over the menu he was holding. "Do you still _not_ like tempura?"

He shook his head. "That stuff is evil."

"Then pick something out for me. I want to have something you like."

He looked down at her and then gave a nod before turning his attention back to the menu.

.oOo.

As they were walking to Ichiraku that evening, Rin gave a small smile as she watched a trio of small children run by them, shouting out odd jutsu names as they took turns swiping at one another with sticks. Her hand circled Kakashi's wrist and she gave him a tug. "Remember when we were that small?"

"I try to forget," he deadpanned.

She huffed. "You act as if life was awful when we were kids."

"Wasn't it?"

She bit down on her lip and cursed herself. Sure, life wasn't exactly all she had imagined it to be, but it wasn't _all_ bad. "Do you not have _any_ good memories? You're too young to talk like a bitter old man."

"I'm not bitter," he defended, and then continued in a lighter tone. "I'm just more of a realist."

"Bitter," she argued under her breath.

"What was that? I couldn't quite hear you," he teased.

"You're just giving me more proof that you're an old man after all."

"Really, Rin, that's painful," he said, voice dropping flat as he put a hand over his chest.

She smirked. "Please, I'm not even trying to make it hurt."

"Do you want to make it hurt?"

"Depends," she replied coyly. "Do you like a little pain?"

Kakashi stopped and Rin looked back to see what the holdup was. He was staring at her, disbelief obvious in his single-eyed gaze. Her brow dipped a little. "What is it?"

"Nothing, just… you sure know how to make a man blush," he muttered before picking his feet up again, this time pulling her along.

She couldn't stop the giggles from coming. "And considering your reading material that must surely be a task in and of itself."

"Hush, you."

She snickered as the lanterns for the noodle shop came into view. Of course, the others were already there waiting on them.

"You're late!" a blond boy exclaimed as soon as Kakashi entered, a finger pointing straight in his face.

"I just got lost on the road of life," he replied and Rin noticed how Sakura mouthed the excuse along with him and then rolled her eyes.

"Whoa, Kaka-sensei, I didn't know you had a _girlfriend_," the boy commented with a cheeky grin.

Kakashi neither denied nor confirmed it and only pulled Rin forward. "This is Rin, she's an old teammate. Rin, this is Naruto."

Rin couldn't believe the similarities she saw as she looked upon his face. His hair was the same sun-golden color, his eyes that same intense blue. Naruto grinned sheepishly and rubbed at the back of his head. She nearly did a double take; that was so much like his mother. Kakashi nudged her and she made a surprised squeaking sound.

"I'm sorry! You just… you look just like…"

"Yeah," Naruto said, as if knowing where she was going. "He was my dad."

Rin smiled. "He was my sensei."

Hearing this made his smile grow to reach his eyes. "You'll have to tell me some stories about him some time!"

"I will," she agreed with a nod.

"This is Hinata-chan," he introduced with a subtle smile, "and this is Saku-"

"Sakura-chan, I know her," Rin said and then shot her a smile.

"I'm starving! Let's eat!"

Rin eyed the menu for a few moments while everyone else ordered; finally, she decided on some pork ramen. She pressed her shoulder against Kakashi's. "Thanks for inviting me along."

"Of course."

She looked beside her at Naruto and his date. He seemed like such a perfect mesh of both of his parents, and still his own unique person. She had been gone when the kyuubi attacked and her sensei lost his life protecting the village. He had been the rock that held the entire team together; he had been a great man and seeing Naruto brought back so many memories.

Naruto and Hinata broke into quiet conversation as they ate, and with Sakura on the other side of them, it practically left Kakashi and Rin to themselves. She had only gotten a few bites into her meal when she realized that Kakashi was already done. She slurped down her bite. "You're already done?!"

He shrugged. "What can I say?"

"No indigestion? You must have an iron stomach."

He patted his belly. "I've put it through worse."

She sighed and continued on her food, shocked even more as Naruto ordered another bowl, and then a third one before she could even finish off her first. Hinata just laughed as Sakura made empty threats to his well-being if he couldn't be more careful about his eating habits.

Rin leaned over to Kakashi. "Did he get it from you? Or you from him?"

"Don't compare my stomach to that bottomless pit. He's a ravenous ramen creature without any real categorization."

Her mouth dropped open as two more bowls were placed in front of him. "I think I see what you mean."

There was a sharp snapping sound and everyone turned their heads toward the noise.

"What's wrong, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked with his mouth packed full of noodles.

"I… I'm just not that hungry. Sorry, Naruto, I gotta go."

The rosette quickly stood from her seat and pushed the flaps to the side so she could walk out. Hinata placed her hand over his as he stood, evidently concerned for his friend, and she assured him that she'd be okay.

Kakashi, on the other hand, got up and was out of arm's reach before Rin could even try to stop him. She watched his legs hurry off in the same direction Sakura left in. Rin could only shrug as Naruto turned a questioning gaze toward her. She poked at her ramen, but couldn't bring herself to eat another bite.

Before, when they were younger, Kakashi had often been the one to say the words that made other people walk out like Sakura did. He hadn't really cared what his actions caused, and he'd stand there with a dip to his brow and arms crossed, obstinate. All those times during their early years, all she wanted was for Kakashi to come after her, just once. And now here he was chasing after another girl, worried and concerned – and seemingly unaware of how he was making Rin feel. She wanted to whine and pout, and smack him repeatedly, and let him know how unfair she thought it all was. Then with her next thought she would berate herself for even thinking such things.

With resignation, she stood and turned to the others. "I'm going to see what's going on… make sure everything's alright."

Naruto nodded and then she was walking out, heading in the last direction she saw him go. Rin got turned around more than once; the new establishments, the bigger village itself, had her a bit confused still. But she soon found signs of Kakashi's chakra and eventually found him. It didn't surprise her that he was with Sakura, but what she saw them doing, did.

He was holding onto her hand, refusing to let her go even though she was begging him to with tears in her eyes.

"Just tell me! What is it? _Who_ is it?" he demanded softly. "This isn't like you, Sakura, and I miss the real you."

Her other hand curled into a fist as she shook her head, avoiding looking at him. "Kakashi, please, just don't…"

It was at this moment that Rin wondered if perhaps all men, no matter how intelligent, were really this dense when it came to women. But there was a passing of silence between them, and in that space of time a look of realization came over Kakashi. Rin could see it in his body posturing, in that twitch of his eye, and the way his hand tightened on hers.

When Sakura wouldn't move, he stepped towards her – slow and purposeful. "I didn't know. I'm sorry, Sakura."

In her mind, Rin was telling – no, screaming at – him to stop. As loud as she was in her head, she remained quiet and watched on as he pulled her into his arms. She fought him at first, but quickly gave up as it became evident that he wasn't going to let her go. The hands that had been trying to push him away now clenched at his shirt. His hand lifted to wipe the tears from her cheek and Rin couldn't watch any more.

Dejected, she turned away. The decision that needed to be made became all the more clear as she found her way back to the main road. Perhaps she had been silly, naïve even, to think that the past would've remained waiting for her. Everyone she had known had died or grown and changed so much that they were practically new people altogether just with familiar names. Realizing that her village wasn't what it used to be, that the memory of her beloved Kakashi was so different from the man he was now, a man that loved and needed, but quite possibly didn't love or need her, made her heart crumble.

As shocking as the revelation was, as much as it squeezed at her heart, suffocating her, she couldn't bring herself to cry. She felt surprisingly, and comfortably, numb.

Naruto and Hinata were still at their seats when she returned and she explained that they should be back soon, and she assured him that Sakura seemed okay when she saw her. Naruto buttered her up then, asking for a story about his dad and she obliged him willingly. Fond memories of her sensei meant fond ones of Kakashi and Obito as well. After indulging him with a story about one of their early genin missions, Naruto seemed pleased and eager to hear more, but he had to get Hinata home - which led to his next predicament.

Rin's brow twitched. "What was that?"

He scratched his reddening cheeks. "Well, I'm a little short on the bill and usually I can get Kaka-sensei or Sakura-chan to pay, but they ran off and I just need a tiny bit to pay for my extra bowls."

Rin eyed the stack of bowls. "How many _extra_ bowls did you have?!"

With a bit of an embarrassed laugh he held up four fingers and she went slack-jawed. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"I'll pay you back, please?"

Rin sighed and then pulled out her wallet.

Kakashi returned just after Naruto and Hinata left and Rin pouted up at him as he came to stand beside her. He looked down and caught sight of her empty billfold. "He got you, didn't he?"

She nodded, desolate. He put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?"

A million replies buzzed across her mind, but only one came from her mouth. "You can start by buying me a drink."

TBC

* * *

A/N: It's been a while, ne? Thanks for sticking around! I hope you liked the change in perspective for this one. We'll be seeing things from Kakashi's eyes for the last part.

And a special thank you to Mateba whose kind words really helped push me into completing part two. Part Three – the end – coming soon!


	19. Hope - Reflection of Myself

A/N: Hello! I know some of you were expecting the end for You Don't Know, and that will come in time, but this pretty much wrote itself. A few of you already know, but I'm currently expecting my second child. This pregnancy has been extremely rough, and I've been highly emotional, and this was borne from it. It's been a therapeutic and emotional ride, but I hope you like it. - Deni

**Warnings: Character death - angst muffins - and a dose of the touchy feelies.**

Title: Hope - Reflection of Myself  
Word count: 8,736  
Rating: T  
Summary: Kakashi comes to terms with being a single parent.

* * *

Cast out into the hallway as a handful of medics pushed by him to enter the room, Kakashi could only stand there dumbfounded. As the door opened again he could hear Tsunade snapping out orders, but her voice seemed so far away in comparison to the flat beep that still pierced his ears. All this time he thought he had been living, but in that room his world really began to spin and then stop within the span of a few moments.

Why did he have to give her what she wanted? Why couldn't he have put his foot down and convince her that they weren't ready, that they'd always have another chance? Why did that look in her eyes then have so much power over him? Love really did change everything.

Love.

Staring at the door, he wanted to scoff. He never imagined he'd be here, in love, and with her of all people. It wasn't that it was bad, quite the opposite actually, but it was so unexpected... and even more so was the fact that he welcomed it. After all the loss and regret and guilt, Kakashi didn't believe he had anything left of himself to give - at least not anything worth a damn. But she had proven him so wrong.

Over time he felt himself giving in, becoming more comfortable and open, and enjoying things in life. Days and nights were molding into solid frames of time that he'd be more than content to live in for the rest of his days. For a few years, he had felt truly at peace, and then it was all disrupted the day she told him that she was pregnant. She had confessed to him once that she wanted a family one day, and he confessed that he wasn't sure if he ever wanted one. She smiled, and squeezed his shoulders, and told him that he'd make a great dad one day. He just hadn't expected that day to come a few months later. He had been so surprised, and overwhelmed - and _scared_ - that he had told her to get rid of it.

All things given, he should've expected her incoming fist.

She didn't talk to him for days after that, even when he came around to apologize. He hadn't once considered that she was just as unprepared and scared as he had been until he caught her one day standing in just her underwear in front of the mirror - hands splayed on her stomach and tears coming down her face.

It had been a long time since he felt like the world's biggest asshole, but that was exactly how he felt at that moment. He had never apologized so profusely to anyone in his life as he did that day. He stayed by her side through everything - the mood swings, the morning sickness, and the odd cravings - assured that it was all worth it. As her belly began to swell and he could feel the fluttering movements she had been proclaiming to have felt for weeks, he truly believed that this could be one of the best times of his life. While the idea of being a father still scared him, he was looking forward to doing all the things his own father never did for him.

Yet when the sickness never eased and she could barely sleep and began throwing up blood, his concern gnawed away at him even more. As her due date approached, everyone was happy and enthusiastic and almost overbearing with offers to help. Her teammates and friends bantered with each other over who was to be called uncle or aunt, or who would get to teach which jutsu. It was such a perfect moment that no one could foresee the dreadful outcome.

Kakashi barely registered that anyone was speaking to him, let alone shaking him.

"Kaka-sensei! What's going on?" Naruto's frantic voice broke through his haze.

"They kicked me out."

"Is Sakura okay?"

The jounin couldn't look him in his deeply concerned blue depths and his voice seemed forced out of him. "I... I don't know."

Naruto spun away as Kakashi leaned back against the wall beside her door and then slid down to the floor. He ignored the people passing by and the medics that asked him to move to the waiting room. His former student took it upon himself to make it clear that neither of them were going anywhere.

Minutes felt like days before Tsunade finally emerged. Naruto was on her in an instant asking a thousand questions, and Kakashi felt guilty because he should've been the one doing that. Instead, he could only peer up at her from his spot on the floor behind the eager blond. The tired look on her face told him everything he needed to know and he dropped his head.

All it took was two words, the same two words that began every piece of bad news he had ever received over his entire life.

"I'm sorry-"

That was all he heard before fleeing in a puff of smoke.

Kakashi was... a wreck; it was the only way to describe the torrential hurricane of emotions battering his soul. He was so angry, but at who? Sakura for being so stubborn? Tsunade for not being able to help her? Himself for allowing it to happen, for not being able to save someone he loved - again? Why was he such a failure at everything? Why did everything he touch crumble? Why couldn't he hold onto just one good thing in his life? Was he simply not allowed happiness?

He felt so incredibly bitter that every breath felt foul in his lungs. He was shadowed by such grief that he did all he knew how to: fight out of it. At the training grounds, he released his fury and decimated everything he could. He wanted to show the mighty trees and sturdy rocks that they were just as fragile as he was, that they could be reduced to nothing, that they could be broken, just like him.

oOo

It wasn't hard to find him. All he had to do was follow the sounds of destruction and the spikes of chakra.

His tear-reddened eyes followed the head of a water dragon as it emerged from the trees, shredding their branches on its way. He'd seen this attack plenty of times - once or twice, really, but that was more than enough - and instead of crashing back down meaning to engulf the target, it burst in the sky.

Naruto continued on, stepping carefully over the debris. He stopped as he saw Kakashi lying there on the ground, chest heaving. The last time he had seen his sensei so distraught was during the last war. He squinted and looked up to the sky as he was splattered with water from the failed jutsu.

"What do you want, Naruto?"

The whiskered man winced; it was so unusual to hear such raw pain in his voice. "You left." When Kakashi said nothing, it only angered Naruto more. "How could you just leave?" he demanded.

There was no anger in Kakashi's voice, however, he just sounded utterly exhausted. "Don't raise your voice at me, and don't act as if you know what I'm going through."

"Then don't act like you're the only one in pain!" he snapped. "You and I both know that she understood the risks."

"Naruto, don't-"

"Don't what? Remind you that she wanted this?"

"Don't..."

"You know, Sakura told me one time that you didn't deserve to look so lonely. And it took me a while to get used to the idea of the two of you, but I've never seen her smile like that... And when she told me that she was having your kid, I didn't know whether I wanted to congratulate you or punch you in the face," he admitted.

The nostalgia of that day washed over the blond and it stung his eyes with fresh tears. He didn't know how much longer he'd be able to keep his composure, so he continued with what he came to say. "That time that you had to rush her to the hospital, when I visited her, I asked her to reconsider having the baby."

It hurt him to admit that, but he had lost one teammate already and his friendship with the rosette had only grown and he didn't want to lose her, too. "She told me that you asked her the same thing, and that she wished we'd just understand. She said that the baby was proof that you loved each other, that there was a time that she knew what love meant because of you... and that no matter what, she knew that you'd never have to be lonely again."

"But she's gone," the broken man croaked out, not taking his eyes from the sky.

"And it hurts all of us," Naruto cried. "But a part of her still lives on... and none of us have to be lonely, especially you." He wiped at his eyes and ran a sleeved arm across his nose. "It's a boy by the way. You should go see your son."

Naruto turned and began to leave the shattered remains of the training grounds. "We're not going to let you do this alone," he called over his shoulder. "You've got all of us whether you like it or not."

oOo

That night, Kakashi snuck back into the hospital through the window of the delivery room where Sakura had been. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when he entered. The bed was clean and freshly made with crisp white sheets. The monitors were all pushed back against the wall. The smell of antiseptic covered the scent of blood from before. It was hard to imagine that a life ended - and another began - in this very room just hours ago.

"I figured you'd come back," a quiet, but unmistakably sharp voice called out.

His body relaxed, but his soul tensed. "Tsunade-sama."

"Your little brat's been crying all night you know."

He winced, not at her words, but at what she was implying. He's been crying for _someone_; he's been crying for _you_. He swallowed thickly. "I want to see him."

She snorted. "I should make you wait until visiting hours tomorrow."

"But-!"

"But," she continued with a sigh. "I guess I should give you that right. Sakura would hate me if I kept you from him."

Her voice wavered at the end, and looking at her now, Kakashi could see that she wasn't the almighty Hokage. She was just a woman that had lost someone she considered much more than an apprentice. She took a deep breath and any sense of fragility was gone from her when she looked up at him. "Besides, maybe you can get him to be quiet."

She rose from the chair hidden in the shadows of the room, and that was when he noticed the bottle of sake in her hand. He was wise enough not to comment, and followed as she led the way. They passed the nursery and she explained that his wailing was keeping the other newborns awake and grumpy. They traveled to the opposite wing of the hospital and down the familiar path towards Sakura's office.

The closer they got, the more apparent the baby's cries became. They stopped outside the door and all the nerve he had built up began to crumble. What if he saw this kid and resented it because Sakura gave up her life for him? He didn't have much time to dwell on it because Tsunade opened the door and pushed him inside, closing up behind him.

Shizune looked up, startled and frazzled. "I'm so glad you're here! I can't get him to eat or to sleep, and I've tried all I can think of. You have to take him!"

Kakashi tried to protest - weakly - but Shizune began to hand him over. He cradled the boy in unsure arms, surprised at how something so small could be so loud.

"He's got a clean diaper and there's a bottle already made up," the medic explained in a hurry before making a break for the door.

Kakashi was terrified by the flailing limbs inside the bundle of blankets. What did he do? If Sakura was here he knew she'd be calm and smiling as she'd rock and cradle him against her.

_Sakura_. Maybe he shouldn't have come; this was just too hard - too hard to do without her. A loud wail, much louder than the sorrow he felt pulsing through him with each heavy beat of his heart, erupted from the baby's tiny mouth. His brow knit and he thought back on what Sakura would do, and he felt silly as he began to sway awkwardly back and forth.

"Ssh," he soothed. "You must be hungry and you can't eat if you're crying."

He let out a humorless laugh and reminded himself that the baby couldn't understand what he was saying. He began rocking his arms as he walked around the office, circling the desk to sit in Sakura's chair. He stared down at the squirming baby and his soft, slightly wrinkled pink skin. Fat tears were spilling from his clenched eyes as fingers circled and released patches of grey hair on his head.

Hesitantly, Kakashi lifted a hand and set it against his son's head, letting his thumb brush along the temple and the feathery hair there. "You must be wondering why you don't hear her voice anymore. You didn't get to really know her, but you're missing her, too, aren't you?"

There was a wheeze as the baby sucked in more air, the crying subsiding - marginally. Kakashi's lips dipped, but he continued to comfort the newborn with the gentle stroke of his thumb. "It's going to be hard for both of us... Your mother was so strong... she'd be disappointed if we gave up. So, work with me a little bit, okay?"

He couldn't believe that he was sitting there reasoning with his baby, but the more he talked the less he cried. So he talked about whatever he could: how Sakura had some of the best chakra control he had ever seen, that Naruto's mouth was a gateway to another dimension, how he hoped he'd grow up to like eggplant as much as he did, and about his favorite author whose books he may - or may not - be handed one day.

Kakashi felt like he had been talking for hours, but his son's screams and wails gave way to shuddering sobs, which ebbed into stuttering breaths and sniffles, and that was all worth it. Relieved, he reached over for another bottle, unscrewing the top with one hand. There was already formula measured out - thank goodness for that - and he added it to the water. After a quick, but thorough, shaking he offered it up, silently hoping the child would just eat something already.

With his eyes still closed, his mouth accepted the nipple of the bottle easily and Kakashi smiled down at him. "There you go."

Even though he hadn't eaten at all since being born, he consumed far less that Kakashi thought he would've. He set the bottle down and wiped some milk from him mouth. Yawning, he turned his gaze to the clock and was surprised to find it approaching three in the morning. He looked back down in his arms as the baby yawned, too.

He grinned a little. "You must be exhausted. I am, too... I haven't introduced myself to you properly yet. I'm sorry it took so long, but it's nice to meet you. I'm your father."

It was most likely sheer coincidence, but Kakashi would always remember this moment. A tiny hand wrapped around his ring finger and squeezed with some impressive baby strength before he finally opened his eyes. Kakashi Hatake gasped in awe at how amazing, brilliant, and beautiful his green eyes were.

oOo

Early the next morning, the door to Sakura's office opened and Shizune stuck her head in. There were circles under her eyes, testament to the fact that she hadn't gotten much sleep, but nothing could cloak the happiness she felt at what she saw.

Kakashi was leant back in the chair, his feet propped up on the desk, his son cradled in his arms - both of them sound asleep.

Tsunade smiled behind her. "Trust Naruto to say the right thing."

"I'm glad he did," Shizune muttered before covering a yawn.

"Can you two be quieter? Do you know how long it took me to get him to sleep?" Kakashi asked, voice thick with sleep.

Tsunade nudged her assistant inside and then followed. "But the important thing is that you did it."

He nodded slowly. "I never got to ask, but what's his name?"

Shizune looked nervous as she turned to her mentor who only offered a sad smile. "Sakura didn't get to name him."

Kakashi glanced back down at the sleeping baby and for a moment he remembered a night where Sakura was pressed against him as they laid in bed. He had his arm over her, hand resting on the top of her belly. She looked over at him and asked, "If it's a girl, how do you like the name Kasumi?"

"It's pretty. And if it's a boy?"

She smiled. "Well..."

"Well, are you going to name him? Tsunade asked. "He needs something on his birth certificate."

"Ryusei." He looked at the sleeping boy and nodded as he thought of Sakura's request. "Hatake Ryusei."

oOo

It was difficult returning to the home he had shared with Sakura. When her water broke, it had been so sudden that the lunch they had been sharing was still abandoned at the table. The book she had been reading still remained open where she left off. It was like the last moment of their life together was there, frozen in time.

Lying Ryusei down in the basinet, Kakashi shuffled over and closed the book before picking up the dishes and clearing the food away. They were the last things in the house that she had touched. As he set them in the sink, careful not to wake the baby, it was difficult to imagine she'd never be sitting there with him again.

A sob tried to choke its way out, but Kakashi gripped the counter - knuckles white - and forced it back down. He couldn't cry, not anymore. He needed to be strong; he had a reason to be.

A high-pitched whine caused his head to snap around and he hurried over to pick up his son. "Hey, hey," he whispered. "We're home now."

Kakashi walked around the small apartment, showing and telling him about every room. Just like before, his voice seemed to have a calming effect and by the time they reached the bedroom, Ryusei had quieted down and was looking sleepy again. After last night, Kakashi couldn't agree more that sleep sounded wonderful.

oOo

After one month of being a father, Kakashi had never felt so sleep deprived - and he had spent days at a time awake in the field. He had spent time with plenty of cocky genin, but never had he ever felt so frustrated and on the verge of pulling out his hair.

He could barely keep his eyes open as he rocked his son, a warm bottle in his hand. "Just take the damn bottle," he groaned. "Don't be such a pain for daddy - daddy needs sleep or he gets _really_ cranky."

But his son continued to turn his head away, wailing and waving his arms.

Kakashi ripped his mask away. "Why won't you eat? It's good, see?" He put the bottle to his mouth and instantly gagged. He coughed as he looked at the bottle in disgust. Babies were supposed to drink this?

A touch to his chin caught his attention and the cries began to subside. He lifted his son a little higher and let him grab at his face. He walked back over to the bed and sat before trying the bottle with him again. Ryusei accepted it without a fuss and Kakashi sighed. He sat back and dozed off without realizing it.

He'd wake in the morning to a still sleeping boy and a milk-soaked shirt

Naruto kept his word and stopped by numerous times, especially in the first couple months. It drove Kakashi crazy at first, but he was thankful. It really helped to have someone else around to feed and change Ryusei, even though he'd never say it aloud. Catching extra sleep - even if it was just thirty minutes - was miraculous. There were other visitors, too: Ino, Tsunade, Sai, Tenzou, Hinata, and even Gai a couple of times.

The one person he hadn't really expected to come knocking was Kurenai, but she did. She cuddled Ryusei, and tickled his face, and helped with feeding. When he went down for a nap, she sat and drank tea with Kakashi. Her true intentions came out then as she offered up a smile and asked, "How are you holding up?"

He shifted uncomfortably and sipped his drink before replying, "I'm here."

She reached across the table and set her hand over his. "It gets easier. Luckily, for us hardened shinobi, we've got people that look out for us. You've got amazing friends, and we care about you and that little boy."

He took in a deep breath and looked to where said boy was sleeping. "I just wish she was here."

"If she was, she'd tell you that you're doing a great job."

He took another sip of his drink to swallow down the rising sadness. "I don't feel like I am sometimes," he admitted.

She squeezed his fingers and he looked up to see her smiling. "But that's how you know you are. You should get some rest while you can; besides I've got to pick up Asuko from the academy."

"Tell her I said hello."

"You should come over and tell her yourself," she said as she rose from the table. "And bring Ryusei. She wants to meet him."

"I will. Thank you, Kurenai."

oOo

It did get easier. Ryusei settled into a steady sleep schedule and Kakashi felt less like a bear disturbed during hibernation and more like himself again. Soon, his son was taking more than bottles and enjoying making a mess of fruit purees. Sitting up evolved into scooting and soon he was crawling about, curious of everything he could reach. Kakashi would never forget the horrific sight of finding Ryusei with the first edition of Icha Icha in his mouth, drool spilling down the cover, and crumpled pages scattered about.

When his son was about ten months old, Kakashi would sit on the floor with him and stack blocks just so he could knock them down and laugh. It was worth doing it again and again to hear that innocent ring of happiness. They could do that for what felt like hours, and though Kakashi had been used to filling his time with training and reading, he was more than content to be here instead.

When Ryusei quit knocking the block towers down and began pouting, his father knew exactly what he wanted. He leaned down to look at his little face. "Hungry?"

The boy nodded, eyes brightening, and Kakashi grinned. "Alright, let's get you something."

Tiny fingers grabbed him and he paused. "What is it?"

Ryusei's green eyes were big and held him still as he stared. His mouth opened and closed as he scooted closer, babbling sounds before he pulled himself into his lap. Kakashi just watched patiently, curious to what he was trying to accomplish. He didn't move when little hands curled into his mask because revealing his face was something Ryusei loved to do - especially when he would surprise him with a silly expression.

The fabric was yanked down and two small warm palms pressed to his jaw. Kakashi met his son's gaze and ever so confident, the boy smiled a chubby smile and proudly proclaimed, "Daddy!"

Kakashi wrapped his arms around him, hugging him close and hiding the sudden sting of tears. Whoever would've thought that one simple word could ever melt the Copy Nin.

The boy squirmed in his hold and Kakashi pulled back with a smile. "Right, food! Let's eat."

oOo

The following month, Kakashi was sitting at the table poring over maps as he strategized where to put new outposts. Oomphs and grunts piqued his attention after some time and he looked over to see Ryusei trying to pull himself onto his feet with aid from the couch. Every time he made it to his feet and took a wobbly step, he'd fall, but he never lost that determination.

Maps and scrolls were forgotten as the ninja watched on, silently encouraging him, too afraid to say anything aloud as it may ruin his concentration. With an angry growl, Ryusei pulled himself up again, tiny fists clenching the cushion. After a moment he pulled his hands away and took a step. Kakashi's brow creased, worried he may fall again, but when he didn't the ninja stood from the table. Ryusei took another step and then another, and another, before laughing happily as if saying _'I did it! Take that gravity!'_

Kakashi stepped forward and knelt down and his son paused as if he knew he was being watched. He turned and smiled bigger and reached out his hands. "Daddy!"

He held open his arms and Ryusei walked into them. This child never ceased to amaze him.

Before Kakashi knew it, birthdays had passed and Ryusei began running and jumping and picking up bad eating habits from Naruto. His vocabulary leapt from a couple words to dozens, then to hundreds, and then thousands. He was so open, and honest, and so damn curious about everything.

When Ryusei turned five he gave Kakashi quite a shock. "Dad! Dad, come look!" he yelled.

Kakashi opened the door to his son's bedroom, but didn't see anything other than some toys scattered about. "Ryusei?"

"Look up! See what I can do?"

Kakashi didn't know whether to be horrified or impressed to see his son crawling on the ceiling.

There was no stopping the boy then; he definitely had it in him - the spirit of a ninja. Kakashi taught him the basics of chakra and identifying weapons, and Ryusei soaked it all up, eager to learn even more. So, Kakashi enrolled him in the Academy.

Iruka couldn't believe it when they walked in. Ryusei yelled a bye over his shoulder before running to find a seat. Umino walked over to his old friend and leant against the wall. "I never thought the day would come when I'd teach one of _your_ kids."

Kakashi watched as his son introduced himself and sat with a group of boys. "Me neither."

"He'll do great."

"I know."

oOo

One day, during Ryusei's second year at school, Kakashi came home to find his son in the bathroom combing his hair over in vain. His lips were downturned and his eyes were red. He huffed as nothing he did seemed to keep his hair in place.

"What are you doing?" Kakashi asked.

The boy grunted as he threw the comb, letting it bounce into the sink. "I hate it!"

"Hate what?"

"This big old dome," he exclaimed, jabbing himself in the forehead. "Even the girls make fun of it."

The Copy Nin didn't mean to, but he laughed; it reminded him so much of Sakura.

Small hands pushed on his stomach. "Get out!"

"Ryusei..." It was then that he noticed his eyes were filling with tears.

"You're not supposed to laugh at me, too! Get out!" he yelled as he pushed him harder.

Kakashi sighed and picked him up - amidst the protests - and carried him out. He set the squirming boy on the couch and sat next to him. "It's just a forehead."

"But it's my forehead! They say it's so big that Iruka-sensei could write his lessons on it!"

Kakashi kept his laughter in check this time and he put his hand atop is head and ruffled his hair. "Sorry, kid, but you got that from your mom. You know, people used to tease her, too; she was called Billboard Brow."

Ryusei groaned in horror. "Great."

"Don't worry, you'll grow into it. Your mother did."

The boy brought his hand up to cover his forehead and then sighed. "When? When will I... grow into it?"

"When it's time for you to. Besides, you need some place to store all that knowledge."

The child deadpanned. "Not funny."

Kakashi grinned and they sat in silence for a moment. Ryusei looked up at him and asked his next question with some hesitation. "What was Mom like?"

The jounin took a deep breath to cushion the ache that came with the swell of memories. "She was... incredibly intelligent, feisty and temperamental, but she had a good heart. She was dedicated and loyal, a great student and an even better medic. She was warm and caring... and much better at these things than I am."

"Do you have any pictures of her when she was my age?"

"Let me look," Kakashi said as he stood. He made his way to the bedroom and opened the closet. There was a box in the back where he kept some of Sakura's belongings. A striped pastel-colored album rested on one side and he picked it up. Thumbing through it, he joined his son again. He turned the album around and handed it to him.

Ryusei studied the photo there; it was of Sakura and Ino when they were in the Academy, flowers in hand. He sighed and turned a page, his expression growing sadder.

"Are you alright?"

He closed the album. "Her head's so big! I'm doomed," he said, exasperated and in a dramatic fashion.

Kakashi only chuckled. "It could be worse."

"How?"

"You could have pink hair."

Ryusei shot up, wide-eyed as the thought hadn't occurred to him. "I'm so glad I have your hair."

oOo

As more time passed and Ryusei got older, Kakashi began taking missions that had him gone for longer than a day or two at a time. He had saved a small fortune by skipping on bills and living off the basic necessities - and the pay that came with all those early S-ranked missions was quite generous. But raising a kid was more expensive that he thought, and Kakashi preferred having a cushion for just in case matters.

He never thought that kind of just in case scenario could've potentially happened so soon.

It hurt as he opened his eyes to bright fluorescents. There was a heavy pain in his chest and discomfort in his left hand. The unquestionable scent of antiseptic filled his nose with every breath and he knew exactly where he was.

The door opened and he turned to see Ryusei standing there, unmoving. He wanted to show him that he was okay, so he lifted his hand in greeting even though it felt like a rock. "Hey..."

Ryusei didn't reply, just continued to stare with his hands balled up at his sides. His brows were knit together, jaw clenched.

"I'm okay, Ryu-"

"But Noboru said that you might not wake up!"

"Well, I'm awake," he assured.

"And they said that next time you might be like Amaya's dad... and not come back home at all!" Ryusei was visibly shaking now as he gulped for air to try to keep the tears at bay.

"That won't happen," Kakashi whispered. "Come here."

His son shook his head. "But it could! Don't lie!"

Seeing him like that made his chest ache from more than just the injury. "I'm sorry, you're right. Please come here, Ryusei."

He took a heavy step forward, and then another, before it became too much. He ran to his father's bedside and threw himself on him. Kakashi did what he could to keep from grunting in pain, but there was no denying the hurt he felt at his son's tears that gradually began to soak through his bandages.

"You can't leave me like that," he sobbed.

Kakashi lifted his other hand, mindful of the IV, and curled it around his son's neck in a comforting gesture. He knew all too well what it was like to be left alone, and he closed his eyes actually feeling guilty for almost doing it to his son. "What am I, Ryusei?"

"What?"

"What am I? What are you training to become?"

"A ninja, but-!"

"Being a ninja is about more than walking on water, learning jutsu, and proper weapon technique. What we do is dangerous."

"I know that," he mumbled, defeated, into his chest.

"And sometimes we don't choose this life, it chooses us. But either way we accept it proudly and do our best because doing so protects our way of life. We protect our nation, our village, and the people inside it that we care about, and for those that depend on us."

"Ryusei picked himself up and stared him right in the face. "I depend on you. What am I supposed to do if... if..." His head dropped and more tears slipped from his face. His voice was weak when he spoke again. "Don't leave me."

Kakashi was aware of the presence of the other two, and he looked back at the door. He looked at Naruto and his eyes that said he was just as touched by the kid's plea, and then to Tsunade's stern glare. He pulled Ryusei closer to him and placed a chaste kiss on his head. "I won't... I'll try even harder next time."

Tsunade stepped in. "I've got to look your dad over. You can come back and see him in a little while."

Then, it was Naruto's turn; he walked over to the bed and put his hand on Ryusei's shoulder. "I told you he'd be okay. Why don't we go get some ramen and I'll buy you some comics when we're done?"

"I guess," he replied with a sniffle.

"And then you can read them to your dad when you get back!"

Kakashi tried protesting. "Oh, that's okay, really..."

But Naruto would have none of it, and as he wiped the tears from Ryusei's face, he assured him, "Your dad's a man of literature. He'd love to listen to you tell a story."

"Would you, really?"

Looking at his hopeful face, and after what he had put him through, Kakashi could only nod. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Ryuseit turned to see Naruto's grinning face and then nodded. "Okay, let's go ojisan. Take care of him, Tsunade baa-chan."

"Quit calling me that," she growled, though it held no venom.

Naruto lead him out and then shut the door behind them. The heat in Tsunade's glare burned brighter and then fizzled out as she picked up his chart. The silence was unlike her.

"Give it to me and get it over with," he said flatly.

"There is no getting it over with anymore. That boy was scared - terrified - of losing you."

"What do you want me to do then, retire?"

"Nonsense. You're still one of my best and I can't afford not to have you. But even so, the consequence is much greater for him. Sakura gave her life for that child, trusting that you'd raise him right and love him enough for her. I'll be damned if he loses you, too. You're all he has."

"That's not true-"

"But he'll never have another father! That boy would rather have you than everyone else in the village combined. You'd be wise to remember that."

And remember he did. Once he was okayed to return to the field, he passed up missions above a B-rank to lower the risk. Coming home to a smiling Ryusei was better ten-fold than waking up to a crying one.

oOo

As you get older, there are moments that time seems to slow down. Even though Kakashi knew that time was constant, there weren't many benchmarks left in his life to measure it by. It was only when he looked at Ryusei that he became aware of just how much time was passing.

At the tender age of twelve Ryusei graduated from the Academy and became a full-fledged genin. Nothing made Kakashi happier than seeing that look of accomplishment on his face. After the ceremony, he waited outside with the other parents for him. He couldn't help but smile as he came running out, the hitai-ate glistening in the late afternoon sun.

He pointed toward it as he came to a stop in front of him. "It covers my forehead! It's perfect!" Ryusei announced.

Kakashi reached out and ruffled his hair. "It looks great."

"Dad, quit it... everyone's looking," he murmured as he swatted at the offending hand.

"You just think they are."

"Nice hair, Ryu," a passing boy teased.

Ryusei glared at his dad as he began to fix it, but Kakashi only shrugged. A trio of girls began to approach and Ryusei turned a pleading eye to him. "Please, don't embarrass me."

"How about I just leave you to it?"

Kakashi heard the girls call out as he walked away, internally cringing at the thought of having _the talk_ with his son. Two of the girls pushed the one in the middle forward, and even from a distance he could see the blush painting her cheeks as she handed over a card. He was proud to see his son play it cool and a few minutes later, Ryusei was waving bye to them and then walking his way.

Kakashi walked beside him as they left the Academy grounds. "So, what would you like for dinner?"

Ryusei shrugged. "I'm not that hungry."

"Well, you can pick when you're ready. It can be anywhere you want."

"Anywhere?"

He nodded. "It's not every year your birthday and graduation coincide."

His son blushed a little. "Iruka-sensei says we'll get divided into cells and meet our jounin leader in a few days."

"Excited?"

"Yeah, but I'm nervous, too."

Kakashi looked down at him. "And why is that?"

"What if he's some creepy hard-ass? What is he doesn't like me? Why does the jounin get to decide if we're chunin exam material? Can't we take more classes?"

"Because this is where you get to apply everything you've learned. Classes are great, but nothing beats experience. You've shown that you're smart and you know the material, but now it's time to prove it. You can react in a split second in a textbook problem, but you've got to be able not to freeze up in a real situation. And if your jounin sensei doesn't like you right away, just give it time. I didn't like my genin students at first, but they really amazed me and we grew stronger together."

Ryusei pursed his lips in thought, as if he was still unsure, but he seemed to be pleased with his father's response. "I guess so."

Kakashi slipped out of his zori as he entered their home, Ryusei following suit.

"I've got something for you; it's a graduation present."

Emerald eyes lit up. "Really?"

He produced a blue box and held it out for his son to take with eager hands. Inside the box was a weapons pouch, a little worn so it obviously wasn't new.

"It belonged to your mom," he explained.

Ryusei smiled softly. "Thank you."

"There's more, and I promise they're very new and very sharp. You're going to need more than practice shuriken," Kakashi explained as he watched him open the new weapon set. "You're a ninja now, and you deserve tools befitting one."

"Thanks, Dad!"

"You're welcome." Kakashi clapped his hands together then. "Alright! So, what do you want to do for your birthday?"

"Actually... you know Chouma, the Akimichi kid in my class? He's one of the younger graduates and his parents are throwing a party to celebrate. He invited me and I really, really want to go."

"But we have a tradition."

"Yeah, but the entire graduating class is going! I can't be the only one that doesn't show up."

"And I'm not saying you have to be, but this is what you call a compromise. We do our tradition first, and then you can go."

Ryusei dropped his gift on the table, frustration etched on his face. "But I'll miss out! And... I hate our tradition anyway. Why do we have to do it?"

His confession was a shock to Kakashi, but since he wanted to know, he'd tell him. "Because it was something your mom talked about doing for you every year, that's why."

"Yeah, but she's not here, is she?"

It was a rare occasion that Ryusei could make his father mad, but he was treading on thin ice. "Hey, watch it!" he warned.

"Or what?" the boy challenged.

"Or there'll be no compromise at all, that means no party and straight to bed with you."

"But that's not fair!" he yelled. "I didn't even know her and she's ruining my life!"

The slap that followed stung even more in the silence. Kakashi hadn't even been aware that his hand had moved until it was too late. As a parent that had never really struck his child before, he felt bad, but the ungrateful remark just pushed him and he snapped - as pathetic of an excuse as it was.

"Don't you dare talk about her that way! You may not have known her, but she was your _mother_ and she gave life to you."

Ryusei stood there, dumbfounded, hand cradling the cheek and eyes downcast. Kakashi took a deep breath to stop his trembling fingers. "Go to your room. You don't want to do our tradition then fine, we won't. But you can forget joining your friends."

"But-"

"I don't want to hear it, Ryusei! Go. Now," he ordered as he closed his eyes, but it only took three words to snap them open again. They were said softly, but laced with poison.

"I hate you."

Kakashi turned and looked at his son and the fire blazing in his green depths. Beyond the anger he saw there, laid mountains of hurt. Ryusei stormed by him, went straight to his room, and slammed the door.

"Damn it," Kakashi muttered with a sigh and sat at the table, deflated, resting his head in his hands.

Hours later, after the sun had set and the jounin believed they'd had ample time to cool down and gather thoughts, he made his way to Ryusei's door. He knocked, but there was no reply. He couldn't really blame the kid - he'd be pissed at him, too.

He knocked again anyway, and rested his head on the door when there was still no answer. "Ryusei, listen, I shouldn't have done that. I let my emotions get the better of me and I lashed out at you when I shouldn't have. It was out of line, and for that I'm sorry. There... are some things we need to talk about - about your mom - but not tonight. I was being selfish myself, and it's a big day for you and I didn't think about how you might have felt. You should go be with your classmates."

When there was still no reply, not a single sound or shuffle, Kakashi opened the door. A single desk lamp was on illuminating Ryusei's still form on the bed. A light snore was all that welcomed him. The jounin entered and picked the blanket up from the foot of the bed and covered him up. He rested his hand on the side of Ryusei's head, thumbing his hair as he did all those years ago.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before turning around and leaving, the door barely making a sound as he did so.

Ryusei opened his eyes, fingers curling around the blanket. There were no words to describe how shocked and hurt he had been when his father hit him. He had never done it before. He wanted to tell him that he was sorry, too, but he was just still so angry. He heard the front door close and sat up. Where was his dad going? He saw his shadow pass by outside and he got up to peek. Now, he was really curious. He pushed his feet into an extra pair of zori he kept under his bed and then pushed open his window. If he didn't start trailing him now, he'd never be able to find out what he was up to.

Ryusei stalked him across the village, staying in the shadows. Some might call what he was doing spying, but like his father told him: nothing beats experience. He frowned as they neared the cemetery. Why was he coming here of all places? Guilt stabbed at him then. He knew his dad was still probably upset, but what could he say? It was hard to love someone you never met, even if it had been his mom.

Ryusei ducked and hurried over to crouch behind a monument. He was close enough to see and hear his dad, so he knew he could be seen as well if he wasn't careful. He rested against the back of the monument, waiting for his dad to do something other than just stand there. The boy closed his eyes as the wind washed over him and he brought his knees up to his chest. He felt strange just sitting there, but the curiosity outweighed anything else. He'd wait all night if he had to, but he didn't.

"Ryusei turned twelve today."

Said boy perked up at hearing not just his dad's voice, but his name.

"He also graduated today - a genin at twelve just like you." Kakashi sighed. "For the first time in a long time, I feel like I don't have a damn clue about what I'm doing. I just wish I knew if I was doing something - anything - right. If you were here..."

Ryusei held his breath as he poked his head out, just enough to see. His dad was standing there with his hands in his pockets, staring down at the stone.

"If you were here, things would be so different. I think Ryusei would be a happier boy if he knew you. Tsunade says you believed I could love him enough for the both of us, but I don't know if I can. I wasn't even sure if I could love you at one point. I don't know why you would trust me to do that when you knew how broken I was..."

He pulled a hand out of his pocket and rested it on top of the stone. "I've tried so hard, and I'd like to think I've done well, but tonight... I feel so lost. I've never felt so happy... and so miserable like this at once. I... I don't know what to do. I wish you could tell me what to do."

Ryusei had never heard his father talk like that before. He had always seen him as strong and sure in everything he did. He never would've thought that he had been second-guessing himself all this time.

"Why does everyone haunt me - except for you?" A small laugh escaped from his lips. "I actually wouldn't mind it if you did. I miss you... and every day Ryusei looks and acts more and more like you. You should see him; I wish you _could_ see him. I wish it could've been me..." His voice became strained. "You deserve to be here much more than I do and I-"

Ryusei's eyes widened as his father knelt, both hands pressed to the stone now. For the first time, he saw his father cry. And seeing him shed tears broke his heart. He was a great dad, and he did so much for him, and Ryusei realized that he never even told him that he was doing a good job, or that he made him happy. It never occurred to him that his dad may need some encouragement and praise, too. He thought he just knew.

With only his father in mind and sight, he got to his feet and walked over as quietly as he could, stopping by his side.

Kakashi was surprised and embarrassed to see a pair of sandaled feet in his peripheral. He took a steadying breath and pulled back to sit on his haunches, hands resting limply on his thighs. He didn't think he could trust himself to talk, but his voice came out calm and smooth. "I thought you were asleep."

"I'm sorry," Ryusei replied, voice dropping in remorse.

"You don't have to apologize to-"

Kakashi was tackled to the ground as his son threw his arms around him; hot tears bled through his shirt.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I didn't know you did... I shouldn't have said what I said. I... I-I don't want to be without you!"

The jounin wrapped an arm around him. "You'll always have me, Ryusei."

"I didn't mean to make you sad... and... and you're a great dad and you do so much to make me happy," the boy babbled through his tears. "I thought you knew how great you are!"

Kakashi smiled although he could feel his eyes brimming over with fresh tears. "I'm great, huh?"

"Of course you are," he answered with a croak. "You're my dad. I love you."

"I love you, too." He smoothed his hand over Ryusei's pale grey hair. "Dry your eyes, okay."

They laid there in the stillness of the night, staring up at the sky until Ryusei's sniffles came to a stop. He sat up, rubbing the remnants of his fat tears from his face, and stared at the stone. "Sakura... Haruno? How come her last name's not the same as yours?"

Kakashi sighed as he sat up to join him. "Well, we never got married."

"How come?"

"We never had time. It was never planned. We were just happy to be together."

The boy's nose scrunched up. "I thought marriage and all that stuff was important. There are girls at the academy already talking about it," he said with a shudder.

His father chuckled. "At one point, I think it was important to her."

"Then what changed?" he asked, staring at him with curious eyes.

"She did. And personally, I never thought I'd ever get married. I never thought I'd ever be in love with someone or have a kid, but your mom, she changed all that. She punched and healed her way through all of my defenses, and before I knew it... I was the happiest I had ever been."

Ryusei let that information sink in and he turned back to look at her memorial stone, really look at it. What he saw made his brows rise. "She died on my birthday?"

"She passed away right after you were born, from complications during labor."

New tears cut a path down his cheeks. "She was a ninja so... I thought..."

Kakashi put his hand on his son's shoulder. "I should've told you, but when is there a right time for that? How was I to know when you'd be old enough to understand?"

"So... when you said that she gave life to me, you mean that she gave _her_ life? She died because of me-"

"No!" Kakashi turned his son to face him and locked their gazes, intending to get the message straight through to him. "She died _for_ you, to protect you, to make sure that you'd grow up and live happily. She got really sick while she was pregnant with you, but she refused to give you up because she loved you that much. You meant everything to her."

Ryusei hugged him, burying his face against his chest, and Kakashi patted his back in understanding; he knew how difficult the truth could be to take in. But the truth wasn't always so hard. "And you mean everything to me, too."


End file.
